Denial Used to Feel So Good

"William...I'm sorry. I-I can't do this..." I slid out from under Bill and blushed apologetically, "I'm sorry." I repeated, "It's just...we're in a tour bus bunk-" And I really don't want to make out with you in the first place,"And...I mean..."

"No...no that's alright." He said in a tone that suggested the opposite. He didn't try to hide his disappointment, which irritated me. Don't try to make me feel guilty for stopping this. I had to actually close my eyes so I didn't roll them.

"Thanks William." I smiled dully, "I think I need to stretch my legs." I mumbled as an excuse to get out of that tiny space that I was sharing with a person I didn't want to share it with. I climbed out of the bed and headed towards the front lounge.

"Wait-!" William called after me but I hardly heard him.

"Gabe." I stated blandly, staring at the boys lanky figure. He was sprawled out on the couch with Sisky's Gameboy in hand. No one else was with us. Hearing his name-or possibly my voice- he shot up, quickly sitting straight and facing me.

"Kyle." He mimicked with equal astonishment.

"What're you-" I began to ask when William practically sprinted in the room. I knew why too. He didn't want Gabe and I alone together.

"Kyle, maybe you want to-"

"William, could you give Gabe and I a second alone, please?" I asked, my eyes not leaving Gabe's. I could see the instant relief and gratification that filled Gabe's expression the moment those words left my lips. William grumbled something along the lines of 'fine' and headed back the way he came. A split second of silence lingered in the air before I plucked up the courage to ask my original question.

"What're you doing here? I-I mean...why are you here?"

"Kyle," Gabe sighed, "what did I do? I really have no idea why you're so upset. But I'm sure whatever Colin told you about me wasn't true."

"So...that night at the bar he didn't tell you to buy me a drink? To dance with me? He didn't tell you to 'keep your hands off'? He didn't send you over?!" I felt the rage boiling inside me with every sentence until I was trying my hardest not to scream.

"Oh, no..." Gabe's facial expressions gave me the answers I needed and my anger diminished to a different emotion.

With a dry sob I stared hard at Gabe, "I'm some pathetic, needy charity-case who needs her friends to tell people to hang out with her?"

"That wasn't it!" Gabe pleaded, "I swear! Whether or not Colin asked me to, I was going to ask you to dance! I was going to buy you a drink! You're not a charity-case! Why did Colin tell you that?!"

"I thought that you and I were going to be civil! I thought that all of your stupid childish games were over! But all of that human emotion that you showed was probably just part of you and Colin's deal!"

"No Kyle." Gabe said firmly, "It wasn't even a deal! Colin was being an asshole! He shouldn't have said those things to you! Yes, he asked me to try and cheer you up, but I did it because I wanted to not because he told me to! Please, believe me!"

I shook my head, "Gabe-"

"Kyle don't! I know you're going to say that you don't believe me! I know you're going to tell me to fuck off, but look at me!" He threw his hands up in the air, "Would I honestly be trying this hard if our friendship didn't mean something? Colin's is only trying to fuck everything up! You said it yourself he was ripping me apart! Trying to make me look bad! He's biased! He hates me! Kyle, don't believe him! He's trying to make me look like the bad guy, so that he doesn't look bad!" Gabe sighed, running his hands through his hair, "I only wanted to make you feel better."

"Gabe..."

"You were crying that night, Kyle. It was the single most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. You were so broken. I wanted you to feel better. A shitload has happened this weekend, Kyle...you crying was the worst."

"I want to believe you Gabe..."

"Then believe me!" Gabe begged, "I don't-"

"But Colin is my best friend," I continued, "and from your past history-"

"No, Kyle-" Gabe's eyes went wide in a look of horror, "Kyle don't believe him! I'm not what he says! Please, if you care anything for me, you'll take my word. Think about it, Kyle...Colin hates me so much. This would be the perfect opportunity for him to shatter my image. He's making you think like he wants you to think!"

"Gabe, stop!" I finally snapped, "Please! I-I can't even think!" I shook my head, rubbing my eyes. I sighed gratefully as Gabe fell silent. I reveled in the peace for a moment, trying to process all this new information, "I need some time." I groaned. I heard Gabe sigh miserably as if he had lost this battle, "Just give me some time." I attempted to reassure him that all was not lost...although things weren't looking too good on his behalf.

Gabe fell back in his seat, running his hands over his face and then running them through his hair. He closed his eyes for a second before suddenly opening them again and leaning forward, as if to tell me a secret, "Kyle..." he said quietly, "C-can you please...not date Bill though? That's all I ask..."

"What? Why?" I frowned, lowering my tone of voice to match his.

"Well...that's just say that if Colin is claiming he's protecting you...then I'm doing the same thing."