No One Ever Realized That They're Already Dead

[[July 5, 2008]] \Saturday\

♠ Damien’s POV ♠

“This isn’t a good idea,” I mutter into my sister’s ear.

“Then go home,” she groans, obviously tired of my complaining.

“And leave you alone out here? No way.”

A little confused? Well it’s easy to explain. Brian was having his 27th birthday party tonight on the beach. They got some permits and stuff for the bonfires they were going to have. Syn’s birthday wasn’t till the 7th but not everyone’s a rockstar so most have jobs during the week. Ellamae was asleep at her home with the sleeping babysitter. It really is hard to get good help these days. And Ivory being Ivory, just had to go check out the party. And me, being the older responsible big brother that I am, had to follow along and keep an eye on her.

We made it easily to the beach and no one really stopped and questioned us to why we were there. Music was playing, people laughing and talking, fires lit, and the booze was there of course.

♠ Dirty Little Secret: No mother I didn’t hide your liquor.

I shake myself from past thoughts and follow along with Ivory. I don’t know what she’s looking for. All of a sudden a lot of noise breaks out and Ivory heads in the direction. With a groan I follow after her. We easily slip through the crowd of people and make it to the front to see it’s some dudes shouting at each other.

“Come on,” Ivory says and grabs my hand.

We try to move along the edge of the crowd. When suddenly a shoat and body falls in between my sisters and I my hands. And then Ivory screams and is on the sand.

“Ivory!” I yell moving to her side.

A lot of voices erupt around us. But I try to ignore them as I gently reach up and take Ivory’s hand from her cheek. I wince. It was already bruising and colorful.

“Damien?”

“Ivory!?”

I look up to see Zack, Matt, and Johnny. Not good. The kneel down around Ivory and I, people step back to give them room.

“What the fuck happened?” Matt asked gently touching Ivory’s cheek only to have her gasp and her lip start to quiver.

“Someone hit her,” I answer.

Matt’s face contorts and it scares me. He and the others stand while I stay down beside Ivory.

“I didn’t mean to hit her,” some guy stammered. “I was aiming for someone else but she was suddenly there! It was an accident!”

Matt took off his sunglasses… don’t really know why he was wearing them at night but whatever. Rockstars, gezz. He turned and looked at the guy who was now terrified.

“I- I’m ok!” Ivory tried to say in a calm clear voice.

“Look at your face Ivory!” Zack frowned “You’re not fine!”

“You hit my daughter?” Matt asked as he looked at the guy, gasps escape many who are in the crowd around us who didn’t know that Matt had a daughter or just didn’t realize it till he said it that it was her.

“It was a accident... I wasn’t swinging at her!”

“Then how’d her face get like that?” Johnny yelled angrily.

“Good question…” Matt continued. “And if you don’t give me a good answer... I might just kill you.” Matt flexed his large hands.

I was tense, waiting for a fight to unleash. But of course, the youngest one there stops it all.

“Dad,” Ivory whines in a hurt voice. “Daddy my head hurts!” she starts to cry.

Matt’s attention instantly goes from angry and ready to kill the guy to concerned and worried about his daughter. He kneels down opposite to me and very gently scoops Ivory up and into his large arms.

“I wanna go home dad,” Iehsa sobs into Matt’s chest. “Take me home.”

“Shhh… it’s ok baby,” Matt coos rocking her a little. “I’ll take you home. Shh…”

The crowd parts for him as he moves through them.

“Damien,” I look up at Johnny. “Go with them. We’ll take care of things here.”

I just nod and hurry to catch up with Matt and my sister. I completely ignore the suddenly cry of pain from behind me.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

♠ Matt’s POV ♠

Thank god the guy across the street is a doctor. It was late at night but he took one look at Ivory in my arms and ushered us in. He owed me from fixing his car so he wasn’t late for a board meeting, too. He doubted she had a concussion but gave her some child’s Tylenol to help with the pain.

At the moment, all the kids were asleep. I picked Ellamae up from her place, not knowing when Jimmy/Leana would be home. I thanked the babysitter but told her we wouldn’t be calling again. Damien explained that he wanted to go check out the party but Ivory didn’t want him to go alone. I could tell he felt horrible about the whole thing so I just told him to go to bed in the guest bedroom where I laid the sleeping Ellamae. No use having them all stay up late just to wait for their parents to take them home.

I just can’t get her cry out of my head. She was in so much pain and her cheek looks like a rainbow. I couldn’t do a thing. I can’t even be happy about the fact she called me dad and daddy. Not with her in so much pain.

I never felt so useless, so helpless.

[[July 7, 2008]] \Monday\

I cautiously open Ivory’s door. “How you feeling Ivory?” I ask in a quiet voice.

She doesn’t open her eyes but answers, “My tummy still hurts.”

Bad headache’s can cause a nauseous stomach. Ivory started throwing up some time yesterday. Poor kid.

“Val just went to go get more Sprite for your stomach,” I answer still in a soft voice so I don’t disturb her headache. “Can I get you anything else?”

“I’m just gonna go to sleep,” she mumbled.

“Call if you need anything.”

“K dad,” she agrees already half asleep.

Hopefully when she’s better she’ll be calling me dad full time. But alas, one can only hope.

[[July 9, 2008]] \Wednesday\

♠ Ivory’s POV ♠

“You look horrible,” Sam told me once we met up for recess.

I roll my eyes. “It looks worse than it is.”

“If you say so,” he muttered.

“I do,” I nod.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“You’re just glad cause I’m gonna be there for detention after school now,” I tease.

Sam just laughs.

[[July 24, 2008]] \Thursday\

♠ Matt’s POV ♠

Knocking on the door brought my attention from the magazine to it. Getting up and head over and open it… then look down.

“Hey Sam,” I smile.

“Hi Mr. Sanders,” he says back. “Ivory ready?”

“Yeah let me just—”

“Ready!” Ivory’s voice shouts from behind me.

I move so she can pass me, and she does rush past me grabbing Sam’s hand making him spin to follow.

“Bye dad!” she calls over her shoulder.

And then they’re gone. Leaving me grinning like a fool. Since that night that jerk accidentally hit Ivory, all she does is call me dad and even throws in a daddy ever now and then. Now I know how Jimmy feels. Johnny said Damien slipped and called him dad once but never again. Ivory told me he doesn’t because he doesn’t want Lacey to feel bad because he could never call her mom. I told the others, without Ivory knowing, and they completely agree with me that that’s ok for him. The kids clearly loved their mom a lot. They still don’t like to talk about her, the pain still too much. But as they like to say: Gold’s endure during hardship.

She hasn’t had any more problems at school. Over dinner one night Ivory told Val and I with a proud voice that no one teases Sam anymore. I’m damn proud of her. Val, Ivory, and I all had dinner with Sam and his family at his place two Saturday’s ago. When the kids all went out back to play his parents just showered Ivory with praise. Kids are cruel little things and Sam had trouble making friends because he’s heavier than other kids. But my little Ivory turned a blind eye to those “kid rules” and the other kids. She stuck by Sam’s side like a true friend. Like father like daughter, Val likes to say.

Only I hope she doesn’t end up like me. I was such a hell raiser at her age and my teenage years. Ivory’s got such huge a future ahead of her. I already have people calling me up to sigh her up with them; surfing and skating. Ivory just shrugs and says her mom wouldn’t let her till she turned 10 or got an offer they couldn’t refuse. I guess I’ll stick with that too, Ivory is only 9-years-old. Fame goes to kids heads and I’m not about to let Ivory’s life be messed up like that.

But I’m a little worried about my news I have to tell Ivory tonight. Val says I’ve been putting it off for too long. In 2 ½ months time… the guys and I will be leaving on tour.