Status: Completed!
No One Ever Realized That They're Already Dead
Sorrow Swallows My Screams... 02
\\ ♠ ♠ Elsewhere ♠ ♠ \\
[[March 27, 2008]] \Friday\
♠ Jimmy’s POV ♠
I was in my kitchen just drinking coffee. I haven’t slept in 4 days. Why? All because of one huge phone call and one huge visitor. Said visitor is who I’m waiting for. My wife, Leana, was out at work so I had 3 more hours.
What will Leana say if it’s true? Will she leave and divorce me? Oh God… she can’t. I won’t let her.
Wait.
Calm down Jimmy. It may not be true. People lie about these things. People lie about everything. Yeah that’s it…it’s just a lie. Wh-
My thoughts and rambling are cut off by the doorbell. I’m so still and nervous I just sat there. I sit until the bell rings again. Taking a deep breath to calm myself I get up and head for the door. Opening it I see the person I’ve been waiting for to arrive. The man was short, kinda chubby, with pepper gray hair but in his hand was a briefcase that held my future.
“Mr. Sullivan,” the man nodded while offering his hand.
Taking it, I reply, “Mr. Charles. Please come in.”
I lead him into the house and into the dinning room. I take a seat and he takes one across from me.
“The results are in,” he says opening his briefcase and taking out some papers. I don’t reply but just look at him. He clears his throat seeing my look, “yes well um, lets see… yes, you are the father to 8-year-old Ellamae.”
All I can do is drop my head into my hands. A kid. An 8-year-old kid!
Mr. Charles continues. “Born March 10, 2000. Has one older brother and one older sister. Sh-”
“-wait,” I interrupt. “What? Brother and sister? What’s going to happen to them? You didn’t say anything about that last time.”
He looks back down at his papers, “Yes. 10-year-old brother and 9-year-old sister. As it happens they won’t be separated too much a distance since the sister’s father also lives in Huntington and the boy will be adopted into a family here also.”
“Who?” I ask.
“I’m sorry but I can’t release that information. The boys adoptive parents will be at the court date in 2 days and if the older sisters father decides to take her then he will also be at the court date.” He pauses to let this sink in. “Now Mr. Sullivan the question is, will you take over the custody of Ellamae?”
‘Ellamae. My daughter. My 8-year-old.’ I roll over in my head. ‘My kid. Oh fuck… Leana. I love her but… my kid!’
Those last two words is all I need to decide, “I’ll take her.”
Mr. Charles actually smiles, “Great!” he takes more papers from his briefcase. “Now these are just papers to say you’ll take responsibility of Ellamae but you have to be at the court date in two days for it to be finalized.” I sign and hand it back. “The judge has to confirm you’re a fit parent for the child. Any more questions?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “What’s the date, time, and place? Of the court date?”
He hands me a paper with the info I ask and more.
Florida. 9:45am. March 29, 2008. Court House. Courtroom 12b. Judge Williams.
“Is there anymore questions you have for me Mr. Sullivan?”
I don’t answer for a moment but then it hits me, “Do you have a picture?”
“Oh yes,” his eyebrows rose in shock that he forgot and goes back into his briefcase. “Here it is.”
I take the picture from his outstretched hand. She’s beautiful. She’s my daughter.
“You can keep that if you like,” Mr. Charles informs me. “Anymore questions?”
I look up from the picture, “No. I don’t think so. But will you be at the court date?”
He nods, “Yes. I’ll be there Mr. Sullivan.”
Nodding I get up and he follows suit. I see him out and walk into my living room. Flopping onto my couch I sit there. And sit… and sit. I sit for hours and I suddenly snap out of it when I hear a car pull into the driveway.
Shit…
Leana.
♠Matt’s POV ♠
Val was having a girl’s day with her sister Michelle and I was in my basement playing pool. Anything to distract me from my thoughts. The guy… Mr. Charles was supposed to stop by around now. Fucker says I have a kid.
Fuck no.
I don’t have any kids. Guy came by 3 days ago, talked to me, I yelled at him, and he left with a thing of my spit aka DNA. I can’t wait to shove it in that guys face when he shows up here and says I’m not. Sure I feel bad that the kid’s mom obliviously couldn’t keep track of her funks but hey that’s not my fault.
I can faintly hear the doorbell and the red light in the basement flashes. Putting the pool stick down I walk up out of the basement to the front door.
“Mr. Sanders.”
“Mr. Charles,” we stand there a moment till I shake out of it. “Come in.”
I lead him into my dinner room so we can have a table and sit across from each other. He gets right to it and opens his briefcase.
“Ok so concerning 9-year-old Ivory Amber Gold,” he smiles slightly in a smug way. “You’re the father.”
‘Oh. My. God.’ I freeze. ‘I. Matt Sanders. M-motherfucking-Shadows. Have. A kid! Oh God…Oh fuck my moms gonna kill me for having a kid at 18.’
“W-what?” I stutter.
His eyebrows rose slightly, “You are the father. Ivory was born March 2, 1999.”
I quickly do the work in my head. June 1998. That had to be the month I slept with… my daughters mother. Oh God.
“The question is now are you going to take care of your responsibility and take her.”
I glare at him for his wording. Making it sound like I’m some fuck up, dick.
“I’ll take her,” I say without even thinking about it.
“Are you sure?” he asks slowly. “This isn’t a puppy Mr. Sanders. It’s a 9-year-old emotional girl who’s just lost her mother and about to get a father she’s never known. She’ll have to move across the country and it doesn’t seem like you thought this over.”
I don’t answer for a full minute, I sit and think and he waits. “I now what I’m doing,” I finally say. “This is big. But she’s my daughter. I’m taking full responsibility for what I’ve done. I now it will be hard but… life’s hard.”
He looks at me a moment and actually smiles. Reaching into his briefcase he takes out some papers. I sign. He then explains that I don’t have full custody until I show up at the court date. I have the paper with the info and a picture I haven’t got the courage to look at yet then I walk him to the door. Walking back into the kitchen I open the fridge and grab a beer. I don’t drink often but hell do I need one.
I was so into my thoughts I don’t notice the door open and my beautiful fiancé walking in the kitchen. I snap out of it when her keys land on the kitchen table.
I spin around startled. “Val.”
She smiles, “Hey babe.”
Oh God...
Val!
[[March 28, 2008]] \Saturday\
♠Jimmy’s POV ♠
I haven’t told Leana, my wife… yet. I’ve always told her everything. But how am I going to tell her I might have my 8-year-old daughter come live with us. We started talking about kids a while ago and started trying 2 months ago but I know I- we should put that at a hold. I need to get to know and take care of the kid I have now before bringing another kid into the picture.
“Jimmy,” I hear her before she wraps her arms around my waist.
I turn and I wrap my arms around her. Looking way down at her I smile a half smile. She notices.
“Jimmy…” she sighs and moves out of my embrace.
I follow Leana into the living room knowing now is the time. I leave tonight at 11 and need to tell her now.
“Jimmy…” she sighs again, grabbing my hand as we sit on the couch. “Something’s wrong. You’ve been distant and acting funny since yesterday. It’s nothing like you. Have… have I done something wrong?”
“No,” I instantly answer and place a hand on her cheek. “You’re perfect like always. But there is something I have to tell you.” She doesn’t say anything but looks at me waiting. “I had a visitor 4 days ago and yesterday. There’s no way to sugar coat this but… I have
a daughter.”
Her face drains of emotion and color.
“Oh God…” she whispers and tears meet her eyes.
I instantly pull her into my arms, “Shhh… baby don’t cry. It hurts me to see you cry. Please.”
“H-how?” she sobs.
“I don’t remember. She was born in 2000. I haven’t known about her. It’s been 8 years but I’m now just finding out to Leana. So don’t think I’ve cheated on you or anything like that.”
♠ Dirty Little Secret: I was told but didn’t believe it.
Shaking my head I continue, “Please don’t leave me Leana. I can’t live without you.”
She instantly pulls back I like slapped her, “What? Jimmy. I love you. I won’t- can’t leave you. But why are you just finding out?”
I pause knowing this is the breaking news. “Her mom died. I’m getting custody.”
“Oh,” she whispers again. “But… but… I.”
I hug her again and kiss her forehead. “I’m so sorry,” I tell her softly. “I know you realize what this means?”
She looks me in the eye and nods while whispering, “No baby. For right now.” I nod sadly as she starts crying hard now and after a few minutes and sobs she says a simple, “Oh. I-I-… W-when do you get her?”
“I leave tonight.”
“Tonight?!” she yelps.
I rub her arm to calm her. “Shh. I have to fly down to Florida. I may… I may not even get custody. The judge has to meet me and see if I’m a fit parent.”
“What’s her name?”
I smile, “Ellamae Ann Gold. I have a picture.”
She smiles a little more upbeat for my sake, “Go get it.”
I get up and walk into the dinning room. Pulling open one of the drawers of the chest in there I take it out. Walking back into the living room I sit back down and hand it to her.
She smiles looking at me. “You’ve framed it already.” I blush a little and she finally looks at it. “She beautiful,” she tells me softly. “She’s got your nose.”
Another lone tear falls and she wipes it away before I can. She stands up so quickly I almost fall off the couch.
“I have to go!” she cries and rushes into the kitchen to grab her purse.
“Leana!” I shout following her. “What is it? Please. Please don’t leave me!”
“What?” she asks confused and turning to me. “Jimmy I’m not leaving you. We have to go get things for her.”
I smile relieved and grab her hand. With my other hand I take the strap of her purse and place it back down. Then I grab her keys and also place them down. I lead my confused wife back into the living room and force her into a sit.
“Leana,” I say slowly. “We don’t even know if the court will give me custody. What with my job, and past history. Plus Ellamae might want to ship her stuff out here. But what you can do is just in case I do win, you can start to clean out one of the guest rooms.”
She smiles, “ok. We’ll give her the one down the hall. The one with the view of the ocean.”
I kiss her as an answer. And of course that leads to some great sex.
What can I say? I’m a fucking sex God!
[[March 27, 2008]] \Friday\
♠ Jimmy’s POV ♠
I was in my kitchen just drinking coffee. I haven’t slept in 4 days. Why? All because of one huge phone call and one huge visitor. Said visitor is who I’m waiting for. My wife, Leana, was out at work so I had 3 more hours.
What will Leana say if it’s true? Will she leave and divorce me? Oh God… she can’t. I won’t let her.
Wait.
Calm down Jimmy. It may not be true. People lie about these things. People lie about everything. Yeah that’s it…it’s just a lie. Wh-
My thoughts and rambling are cut off by the doorbell. I’m so still and nervous I just sat there. I sit until the bell rings again. Taking a deep breath to calm myself I get up and head for the door. Opening it I see the person I’ve been waiting for to arrive. The man was short, kinda chubby, with pepper gray hair but in his hand was a briefcase that held my future.
“Mr. Sullivan,” the man nodded while offering his hand.
Taking it, I reply, “Mr. Charles. Please come in.”
I lead him into the house and into the dinning room. I take a seat and he takes one across from me.
“The results are in,” he says opening his briefcase and taking out some papers. I don’t reply but just look at him. He clears his throat seeing my look, “yes well um, lets see… yes, you are the father to 8-year-old Ellamae.”
All I can do is drop my head into my hands. A kid. An 8-year-old kid!
Mr. Charles continues. “Born March 10, 2000. Has one older brother and one older sister. Sh-”
“-wait,” I interrupt. “What? Brother and sister? What’s going to happen to them? You didn’t say anything about that last time.”
He looks back down at his papers, “Yes. 10-year-old brother and 9-year-old sister. As it happens they won’t be separated too much a distance since the sister’s father also lives in Huntington and the boy will be adopted into a family here also.”
“Who?” I ask.
“I’m sorry but I can’t release that information. The boys adoptive parents will be at the court date in 2 days and if the older sisters father decides to take her then he will also be at the court date.” He pauses to let this sink in. “Now Mr. Sullivan the question is, will you take over the custody of Ellamae?”
‘Ellamae. My daughter. My 8-year-old.’ I roll over in my head. ‘My kid. Oh fuck… Leana. I love her but… my kid!’
Those last two words is all I need to decide, “I’ll take her.”
Mr. Charles actually smiles, “Great!” he takes more papers from his briefcase. “Now these are just papers to say you’ll take responsibility of Ellamae but you have to be at the court date in two days for it to be finalized.” I sign and hand it back. “The judge has to confirm you’re a fit parent for the child. Any more questions?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “What’s the date, time, and place? Of the court date?”
He hands me a paper with the info I ask and more.
Florida. 9:45am. March 29, 2008. Court House. Courtroom 12b. Judge Williams.
“Is there anymore questions you have for me Mr. Sullivan?”
I don’t answer for a moment but then it hits me, “Do you have a picture?”
“Oh yes,” his eyebrows rose in shock that he forgot and goes back into his briefcase. “Here it is.”
I take the picture from his outstretched hand. She’s beautiful. She’s my daughter.
“You can keep that if you like,” Mr. Charles informs me. “Anymore questions?”
I look up from the picture, “No. I don’t think so. But will you be at the court date?”
He nods, “Yes. I’ll be there Mr. Sullivan.”
Nodding I get up and he follows suit. I see him out and walk into my living room. Flopping onto my couch I sit there. And sit… and sit. I sit for hours and I suddenly snap out of it when I hear a car pull into the driveway.
Shit…
Leana.
♠Matt’s POV ♠
Val was having a girl’s day with her sister Michelle and I was in my basement playing pool. Anything to distract me from my thoughts. The guy… Mr. Charles was supposed to stop by around now. Fucker says I have a kid.
Fuck no.
I don’t have any kids. Guy came by 3 days ago, talked to me, I yelled at him, and he left with a thing of my spit aka DNA. I can’t wait to shove it in that guys face when he shows up here and says I’m not. Sure I feel bad that the kid’s mom obliviously couldn’t keep track of her funks but hey that’s not my fault.
I can faintly hear the doorbell and the red light in the basement flashes. Putting the pool stick down I walk up out of the basement to the front door.
“Mr. Sanders.”
“Mr. Charles,” we stand there a moment till I shake out of it. “Come in.”
I lead him into my dinner room so we can have a table and sit across from each other. He gets right to it and opens his briefcase.
“Ok so concerning 9-year-old Ivory Amber Gold,” he smiles slightly in a smug way. “You’re the father.”
‘Oh. My. God.’ I freeze. ‘I. Matt Sanders. M-motherfucking-Shadows. Have. A kid! Oh God…Oh fuck my moms gonna kill me for having a kid at 18.’
“W-what?” I stutter.
His eyebrows rose slightly, “You are the father. Ivory was born March 2, 1999.”
I quickly do the work in my head. June 1998. That had to be the month I slept with… my daughters mother. Oh God.
“The question is now are you going to take care of your responsibility and take her.”
I glare at him for his wording. Making it sound like I’m some fuck up, dick.
“I’ll take her,” I say without even thinking about it.
“Are you sure?” he asks slowly. “This isn’t a puppy Mr. Sanders. It’s a 9-year-old emotional girl who’s just lost her mother and about to get a father she’s never known. She’ll have to move across the country and it doesn’t seem like you thought this over.”
I don’t answer for a full minute, I sit and think and he waits. “I now what I’m doing,” I finally say. “This is big. But she’s my daughter. I’m taking full responsibility for what I’ve done. I now it will be hard but… life’s hard.”
He looks at me a moment and actually smiles. Reaching into his briefcase he takes out some papers. I sign. He then explains that I don’t have full custody until I show up at the court date. I have the paper with the info and a picture I haven’t got the courage to look at yet then I walk him to the door. Walking back into the kitchen I open the fridge and grab a beer. I don’t drink often but hell do I need one.
I was so into my thoughts I don’t notice the door open and my beautiful fiancé walking in the kitchen. I snap out of it when her keys land on the kitchen table.
I spin around startled. “Val.”
She smiles, “Hey babe.”
Oh God...
Val!
[[March 28, 2008]] \Saturday\
♠Jimmy’s POV ♠
I haven’t told Leana, my wife… yet. I’ve always told her everything. But how am I going to tell her I might have my 8-year-old daughter come live with us. We started talking about kids a while ago and started trying 2 months ago but I know I- we should put that at a hold. I need to get to know and take care of the kid I have now before bringing another kid into the picture.
“Jimmy,” I hear her before she wraps her arms around my waist.
I turn and I wrap my arms around her. Looking way down at her I smile a half smile. She notices.
“Jimmy…” she sighs and moves out of my embrace.
I follow Leana into the living room knowing now is the time. I leave tonight at 11 and need to tell her now.
“Jimmy…” she sighs again, grabbing my hand as we sit on the couch. “Something’s wrong. You’ve been distant and acting funny since yesterday. It’s nothing like you. Have… have I done something wrong?”
“No,” I instantly answer and place a hand on her cheek. “You’re perfect like always. But there is something I have to tell you.” She doesn’t say anything but looks at me waiting. “I had a visitor 4 days ago and yesterday. There’s no way to sugar coat this but… I have
a daughter.”
Her face drains of emotion and color.
“Oh God…” she whispers and tears meet her eyes.
I instantly pull her into my arms, “Shhh… baby don’t cry. It hurts me to see you cry. Please.”
“H-how?” she sobs.
“I don’t remember. She was born in 2000. I haven’t known about her. It’s been 8 years but I’m now just finding out to Leana. So don’t think I’ve cheated on you or anything like that.”
♠ Dirty Little Secret: I was told but didn’t believe it.
Shaking my head I continue, “Please don’t leave me Leana. I can’t live without you.”
She instantly pulls back I like slapped her, “What? Jimmy. I love you. I won’t- can’t leave you. But why are you just finding out?”
I pause knowing this is the breaking news. “Her mom died. I’m getting custody.”
“Oh,” she whispers again. “But… but… I.”
I hug her again and kiss her forehead. “I’m so sorry,” I tell her softly. “I know you realize what this means?”
She looks me in the eye and nods while whispering, “No baby. For right now.” I nod sadly as she starts crying hard now and after a few minutes and sobs she says a simple, “Oh. I-I-… W-when do you get her?”
“I leave tonight.”
“Tonight?!” she yelps.
I rub her arm to calm her. “Shh. I have to fly down to Florida. I may… I may not even get custody. The judge has to meet me and see if I’m a fit parent.”
“What’s her name?”
I smile, “Ellamae Ann Gold. I have a picture.”
She smiles a little more upbeat for my sake, “Go get it.”
I get up and walk into the dinning room. Pulling open one of the drawers of the chest in there I take it out. Walking back into the living room I sit back down and hand it to her.
She smiles looking at me. “You’ve framed it already.” I blush a little and she finally looks at it. “She beautiful,” she tells me softly. “She’s got your nose.”
Another lone tear falls and she wipes it away before I can. She stands up so quickly I almost fall off the couch.
“I have to go!” she cries and rushes into the kitchen to grab her purse.
“Leana!” I shout following her. “What is it? Please. Please don’t leave me!”
“What?” she asks confused and turning to me. “Jimmy I’m not leaving you. We have to go get things for her.”
I smile relieved and grab her hand. With my other hand I take the strap of her purse and place it back down. Then I grab her keys and also place them down. I lead my confused wife back into the living room and force her into a sit.
“Leana,” I say slowly. “We don’t even know if the court will give me custody. What with my job, and past history. Plus Ellamae might want to ship her stuff out here. But what you can do is just in case I do win, you can start to clean out one of the guest rooms.”
She smiles, “ok. We’ll give her the one down the hall. The one with the view of the ocean.”
I kiss her as an answer. And of course that leads to some great sex.
What can I say? I’m a fucking sex God!