No One Ever Realized That They're Already Dead

♠ Damien’s POV ♠

I gently fold the letter back up and place it back into the envelope. I sigh and fall back down on my bed. Looking at the ceiling I let my mind swirl with thoughts. My thoughts rest on the couple I’ll be living with. I’ve known my real father didn’t want me since I was 5 but it still hurts. My mothers dead and my father doesn’t want me. Damn… life sucks. But I am thankful of the couple taking me in. I’ll be close to my sisters. That’s all that matters, they’re my world, my reason to live. With a sigh I decided to get up and check on my sisters. We should start heading over to the park now.

I open their door and see Ivory on the top bunk comforting Ellamae.

♠ Insecurity: Am I not a good enough big brother?

Shaking it off I tell myself I’m a great brother. I’ll always be there for them. Always. I clear my thought and they look at me. I smile to show them every things ok.

“You two ready to go?”

Ellamae nods but Ivory just looks at me. I still don’t know why she has such a hate towards her dad. When she was younger she’d always talk about him, even though she never knew him. But then one day… it just stopped. He was evil man in her eyes and no matter how much I asked or thought about it… I don’t know why.

I watch them with my hands shoved into my pockets as they get down from Ella’s bed. I turn when they make it down and head out to the leaving room. Mrs. Harold sees us come in.

She stands up from the dinner table with a smile. “Ready?”

“Nope,” Ellamae shakes her head. “I have to put my shoes on.”

“Well hurry up then.”

Nodding Ellamae heads over to the front door where her shoes were. Once on we head outside to Mrs. Harold’s car.

‘This is it…’ I think glancing at my sisters.

♠ Jimmy’s POV ♠

‘This is it…’ I think when I see the car park.

We, Matt, Johnny, Lacey, and I were all waiting in the park. Normal clothes but nice, we did still have to make a good first impression. Well… I guess I already had my first impression with my daughter.

I hear Matt take a deep breath as the kids and Mrs. Harold step out of the car and start towards us. When I saw them walking side by side I took in their looks. My daughter and Matt’s kid had the same hair and bone structure. My daughter and her brother didn’t have much in common I saw but they did have the same lips. Matt’s daughter and her brother shared the same chin and ears. But as they got closer I saw the one thing that would push any doubt that these three weren’t related. Their bright ice blue eyes. They were all the same stunning color.

And then they were standing only a couple feet away from us.

Mrs. Harold took the first step and looked towards Damien, “Damien, this is Johnny Seward and Lacey Harper.”

Johnny and Lacey smiled. “It’s great to meet you Damien,” Lacey greeted.

Damien smiled back, “Thank you. Nice to meet you too.”

“Ivory,” Mrs. Harold started again, “This is your father. Matthew Sanders.”

Matt smiled weakly, “You can call me Matt. Or whatever you decide.”

The girl’s face showed nothing, “Hi.”

‘That must have hurt,’ I thought sadly for my friend.

“Ellamae—”

“Hey!” my daughter cried wide eyed looking at me. “You’re that guy!”

Everyone looked at me and I nodded with a smile, “Yes I am.”

“You’re my dad?” she asks confused and with a little wonder.

“Yeah,” I say my voice a little lower, “I am.”

She opened her mouth to say something more but then looked at her sister. Ivory’s face was still hard and emotionless.

Ellamae looked back at me. “Ok.”

Then her face tired to copy Ivorys. Uh oh. She must look up to her big sister. Great. Just fucking great.

“Well,” the cheery voice of Mrs. Harold cut in again. “Why doesn’t everyone get to know each other as I make a quick phone call.”

She turned and left before we could respond. All the siblings looked at each other and Damien made the first move. Smiling at Johnny and Lacey, he nodded with his head for them to walk with him. They smiled back and followed him; Johnny on Damien’s right and Lacey on Johnny’s left. It looked kinda funny cause Damien is pretty tall for his age and will probably be taller than Johnny in a few more years when he reaches puberty.

I looked back down at my daughter. “Do you want to sit down and talk?” I ask unsure.

Ellamae’s hand tightens around the tiger in her hand and the other grabs her sister’s hand.

“Or… we four can sit and talk together?” Matt asks this time.

Ivory just shrugs and starts walking towards a picnic table till holding Ellamae’s hand. I look at Matt and see all his nervousness and hurt in his eyes.

“Just show her want a great guy you are,” I tell him softly. “She’ll come around.”

And then we start following our daughters. Matt and I sat on one side of the table and the girls sat on the other. As I looked at my little girl in person and this close I saw my nose and chin. Ivory had Matt’s hard look he got sometimes and believe it or not they had the same eyebrow bone structure.

I shook my thoughts. “Well uh, I’ll start. I’m 27 and my names James but please call me Jimmy or whatever you like. I um play drums in my band and also play the piano. I’m not really sure what else to say,” I laugh softly at the end and look at Matt.

M clears his throat, “I’m also 27. I’m the singer in Jimmy’s and my band, Johnny’s also in it.” He clears his throat again. “I- we live in California on the beach and we’re on a little break from touring.”

Ellamae looks at Ivory then starts talking seeing as Ivory isn’t, “I’m Ellamae and I’m 8-years-old. I’m in the 4th grade. I love to surf and skate with Ivory and D. Ummmm… I also like to read and listen to music. Uhh, oh yeah! I love cold pizza,” she finishes with a smile.

I smile back at her and see her look at her older sister for acceptance. Ivory just smiles a very small fake one and goes back to her hard emotionless face. My daughter’s shoulders slump slightly with a small frown.

Ivory sighs and starts. “You know my name. I hate nicknames, so don’t give me one. Ivory’s my name not something you just make up. I’m guessing you already know I’m 9 and in the 6th grade cause I skipped a grade. I also skate, surf, and read. And I hate the fact I have to live with you,” finishing off with a total Matt glare directed at Matt.

♠ Matt’s POV ♠

Why did my heart just break? I know next to nothing about this kid- my daughter, but that hurt. She hates me. She really hates me.

“Oh,” is the only thing I can say. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” I add.

She scoffs, “I bet.”

Of course the dreaded awkward silence follows.

“So uh,” Rev stumbles trying to bring the conversation started again. “That’s a cute tiger Ellamae. Where’d you get it?”

I watch as Ellamae’s face drops and she looks down, hugging her tiger to her chest tightly. My daughters face also drops for a second before that hard angry face is back. I glance at Jimmy and see him sucking in his lower lip.

Jimmy’s Nervous Habit: Sucking in lower lip.

“Ellamae does that.”

All three heads snap to Ivory. She shrugs looking away towards the jungle gym.

“Do what Ivory?” Ellamae asks confused.

Ivory turns her back to her little sister, “The lip thing. You do it when you’re nervous. I guess Jimmy does too. Matthew cracks his thumbs.”

I look at her surprised. “How’d you know that?”

With a sigh she looks away again, “When we walking towards you. I noticed you cracking them by your sides and you cracked them again when we sat down.”

“Whoa,” Jimmy.

“Ivory’s very good at that!” Ellamae cuts in saying quickly. “She notices a lot of things.”

“That’s pretty cool,” I tell my daughter. “Must come in handy.”

She just shrugs again still not looking at us. I nudge Jimmy and give him a ‘Help!’ look. He just gives me a look back, ‘I’m having trouble too!’ Pssh… and they say only girls can talk with their eyes.

Of course the 8-year-old breaks the silence, “My mommy got it for me.” Jimmy and I look at her. “The tiger,” she explains. “We went to the zoo a couple days before…. Before the accident.”

She had the most pained look on her face and I thought she was gonna cry but then she looked at Ivory out of the corner of her eye and took a deep breath. I guess, not wanting to look too weak to her sister, she kept the tears in. Such strong kids.

“Hey guys.”

I look over my shoulder, along with Jimmy, and see Johnny, Lacey and Damien making their way over to our little group.

“Damien was just saying we should hit the beach,” Johnny tells us. “Said the girls and him can surf pretty good.”

Out of the corner of my eye I actually see Ivory smile a little but real smile.

I nod and agree to make her happy, “that sounds great.” I turn back to look at the girls, mostly my daughter. “Sounds good to you two?”

Ellamae nods franticly and says, “Yeah! Ivory?”

Ivory looks at us all slowly but then looks away with a, “I guess.”

“Great,” I smile and stand up as do they.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

“She hates me!” I tell them miserably as we were driving to our kids place.

“Matt,” Lacey coos. “She’s a young girl who just lost her mother. She’s moving away from everything she knows. She’s upset. It’ll take time. Just keep trying.”

I sigh and slump back in my seat, “I guess.”

“Yeah well at least you didn’t almost make your daughter cry,” Jimmy tells me from the front seat. “Damn. I felt like such an ass.” He looks back at Johnny beside Lacey, “How’s Damien?”

Johnny nods, “Great. Way older than he seems and is concerned for Ivory and Ellamae. Also… kinda concerned about… Matt.”

“Me?” I ask confused. “Why?”

Lacey speaks up, “He said he knew Ivory would give you a hard time. In fact he said she was actually being nice to you.”

“Nice?” I ask with my eyebrows raised and a bit of disbelief in my voice.

She nods in confirmation, “Yep. Said when Ivory was little she always talked of her father- you, as if she actually knew you. But then…” she trails off and shrugs, “one morning she just had this deep hate. He doesn’t know from what. Said she was never the same.”

“Great…” I sigh again.

It’s simple… my daughter hates me. And I’m not sure why or if I even want to know.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

The taxi driver took us to the address Mrs. Harold gave him, I was happy. They lived in a nice condo by the beach. So I’m guessing that since my daughter’s mother had an enough money for this place than Ivory must have been well provided for. The kids weren’t outside but Mrs. Harold was sitting in a chair on the small front porch. When we had all exited the taxi and Jimmy paid, she made her way over to us.

“The kids didn’t want to wait and already headed to the beach with their stuff.”

“Well lets go watch,” Lacey smiled.

Nodding in a agreement we all made the very short walk to the beach. Mrs. Harold and the rest of us all look around for the kids.

“There,” I pointed.

The kids were all standing and Ivory was rubbing suntan lotion on Damien’s back while he and Ellamae covered their arms and faces. They were all wearing board shorts and though Damien was topless the girls had rash guards on; Ivory’s orange and Ellamae’s hot pink.

“Hey guys,” Lacey smiled largely as we got in hearing distance.

The kids turned their heads towards us. Damien smiled while Ellamae had her lower lip sucked in but of course Ivory stood there with a frown.

“You three ready to show us what you got?” I asked friendly to them.

“Oh yeah,” Damien nodded with a confident look.

“Yep,” Ella agreed with a small smile.

My daughter just shrugged not looking at me.

“We brought you all towels,” Ellamae told us gesturing to the pile of them.

“Thanks Ella,” Jimmy said smiled at his daughter.

Ellamae looked at her sister real quick and just mumbled a, “You’re welcome.”

“Why don’t you guys all set up and we’ll head out,” Damien suggested picking up his broad.

“Sounds good,” Johnny agreed and bent down picking up two towels.

I watched as the kids got their boards and headed out to the surf. When we had all got the towels ready and were sitting looking out at the ocean and our kids.

“Aren’t those waves a little to big?” Lacey asked with worry in her voice.

Johnny, Jimmy, and I all looked at her for a moment and then out towards the waves again.

“They are pretty big,” Jimmy agreed with concern in his voice and eyes.

Just then a surfer came from the water with his broad in two. But he was also bleeding from the eye.

“Ouch,” Mrs. Harold commented, “Hit the reef.”

“They can’t surf in that,” I frowned at her with fear written all over my face and voice.

“Ivory’s going!” Lacey pointed out tensing a little.

All our heads snapped back to the surf. Oh God please don’t let her get hurt