No One Ever Realized That They're Already Dead

[[April 5, 2008]] \Saturday\

♠ Brian’s POV ♠

“Where the hell are they?” Zacky asks all flustered.

And I was too. We haven’t heard nor talked to Matt, Rev, Christ, and Lacey for days. Val has been staying with Michelle and I at our place for reasons unknown to me and her sister. Val said Matt had some private business to do. Same thing with Jimmy although Leana stayed with her sister. Johnny and Lacey also had something going on. What the hell? I called Matt’s dad and he doesn’t know what’s up either. Johnny’s parents know but won’t tell, though they seemed happy.

“Calm down, babe,” Gena said from the kitchen.

Zacky just huffed and started mumbling stuff under his breath. And then… we heard two cars pull up and park. Zack and I both raced to the door, shoving and cursing each other on the way. We fought for the handle until both our pulling and stuff opened it. We looked up to see Matt’s, Jimmy’s, and Johnny’s amused expressions. Zacky and I laugh lightly before standing up straight and looking as if nothing happened.

“Why are we still standing here?”

I’m instantly confused. I glance at my band-mates who all step past Zacky and me, going inside. Leaving Zack and I to gaze confused at three kids, ignoring Lacey who stood behind them. Ok. Really confused still. Lacey stood behind the brown haired boy who was smiling at Zack and I. The littlest one was sucking in her lower lip looking nervous. The other girl… was glaring at the ground. Ok… that leaves out her being the little voice that asked the question.

Finally the girl glaring at the ground huffed and looked up, still glaring. Without a word she easily moved between Zacky and I, going inside also. Lacey, the boy, and little girl followed. Zacky and I stood there for a little while longer.

“Who the hell are they?” I mutter before moving to go inside.

I hear Zack close the door and follow me.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

Who the hell are they indeed! Their kids! Dude! Lacey and Jimmy kept the kids busy helping set up for the BBQ outside, while Matt and Johnny explained. Dude! Johnny looked very excited while it was clear to see that Matt was having a tough time. Ivory hated him from what the two told us. But Johnny confessed that Damien said Ivory was a very sweet, funny, and loving girl… she was just having trouble with the death of their mom. I could see that and pointed out she was most likely still hurting.

Matt agreed but added there was more. Something he didn’t know. He thought that Ivory would hate him for not being there for her, even though he didn’t know about her, but the hate was too strong he told us. No, there was something else that was making her angry.

Whatever it was, Ivory better get it together. I hate seeing my best friend hurting like this. It’s killing him.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

♠ Ivory’s POV ♠

The food wasn’t bad but the company… I could have done without. All of Matt’s band was there, and their girls, not Leana and Val of course. Thank God. Brian, Michelle, Gena, and Zacky kept trying to ask me questions but it became known very fast that I wasn’t about to converse with them. So they stuck to the shy Ellamae and kind, polite Damien. Whatever.

Everything started to die down so everyone headed inside while Damien and I offered to clean up. They protested but sneaky Damien thought I didn’t see the look and him the gave them to leave us alone for a bit. Whatever.

My brother and I were cleaning up the back of plates, cups, and other misc items, when I heard the doorbell ring. Whatever.

But a chill caught up my shine that I couldn’t ignore or shake off. And a few moments later I knew why, Dad re-appeared at the backdoor. He looked nervous, and I saw both his thumbs crack. Whatever.

“Hey um Ivory, come inside for a bit I want you to meet someone,” he told me trying to hide that nervousness I could clearly see in his eyes.

He turned and walked back inside before I could respond, as if I would. I put down my trash bag, Damien doing the same as we moved into the house. ‘Meet someone?’ I thought confused but the sharp pain in my stomach warned me it was what I thought.

As we walked towards the living room, I couldn’t recognize two of the voices, two female ones. The unknown girl’s soft voices were carried to my ears. Damien and I then made it into the living room. My eyes instantly landed on the girl by my little sister. My protective instinct going to her first, thinking of me second. She looked comfortable but looked to me trying to see what I would do or think. I nudged Damien to go over and ease her nerves; he understood and did just that. Next, my eyes instantly went to the woman at Matt’s side. Whatever?

“Ivory,” he cleared his throat, “this is Valary. Val, this is Ivory.”

I didn’t say anything. The sharp pain in my stomach returning.

“Its nice to finally meet you,” Val said with a smile.

When I continued to stare and do nothing, she glanced at Matt with sort of a worried expression gracing her face. No expression graced my face as I looked at them.

“Whatever,” I said in dull non-caring voice.

I could feel more than their set of eyes on me. It made me nervous with a hint of anger. Why the hell was everyone looking at me! I just want to be alone. I just want to surf! To get away from all this stuff. I take a deep breath and without even looking at Val, I brush past her and walk out of the living, and out the door. I could feel and certainly imagine the glare Matt was giving my back. Whatever.

I slammed the door on my way out and after that…

I just ran.

And ran and ran.

♠ Matt’s POV ♠

I could see the look of hurt, plastered all over Val’s face and see it swimming in her eyes. I knew how much it meant for her. She wanted to meet Ivory and for them to be friends.

Val sighed beside me, “I’m sorry Matt, maybe it was too soon.” Her voice tired to hide the hurt she felt.

I pulled her into me, letting her hide her face in my neck. “It wasn’t Val. She’s just going to have to get used to you… and me. She will. I promise,” I told her as I rubbed her back, trying to cheer her up. Using my hand, I lightly grabbed her chin and looked her in the eye. Smiling at her I give her a peck to her lips. “I love you Val. Remember that.”

“I love you too Matt,” she smiled, her mood lighter.

“Uh Matt?” I hear Jimmy ask.

I look away from Val towards my friends. All of them looking at us.

“Yeah?” I ask through a sigh.

“Do you want me to go talk to Ivory?”

“If you like,” I says giving him a grateful smile.

Jimmy leaves the room and I could hear him calling for Ivory outside. He returns quickly, looking worried.

“She’s not out front,” he confesses. “I don’t know where she is.”

The guys and instantly move to go outside. The search is on.

♠ Ivory’s POV ♠

I’m sitting at the beach, on one of the lifeguard stations, my legs drawn up to my chest with my arms wrapped around them, leaving my chin to rest on my knees.

“Hey kid,” I hear from a little ways beside me. “Your dad know you’re out here?”

I don’t turn. I don’t need too. Like Ellamae said, I’m very observant but also have a great memory for people; their faces, names, and voices. The man walks up the ramp and sits beside me, letting his feet dangle over the edge. More silent moments pass.

“Sooo…” hums Ryan, the surf guy from earlier. “What’s up kid?”

“Life sucks,” I mumble.

He chuckles, “Yeah. I hear ya.”

More moments pass.

“Sooo…” he tries again. “Your dad know you’re out here?” I don’t answer so he rephrases, “Matt know you’re out here?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I mumble again.

He sighs. “Come on Ivory,” he says finally using my real name. “Let it out. Tell me what’s up.”

“I hate him,” I whisper, my glaze still locked on my center of peace, the sea.

I know Ryan doesn’t really know what to say to that so asks another question. “How long have you been out here?”

I shrug, “an hour… or two. Maybe more.”

“Shit,” he curses softly. “You ready to go home?”

“Florida?” I ask with fake laugh. “Sure. When do we leave?”

He nudges me with a smile, “Come on. You know what I mean.”

“This isn’t my home,” I whisper my eyes tearing up slightly. “It never could be.”

Ryan hesitantly wraps an arm around me. “I’m sorry you’re hurting kid. But Matt’s hurting too.”

I scoff but don’t shrug off his arm. “Like I care. Once I’m 18... I’m gone.”

That silence comes back, only the crashing of the waves being heard.

“That’s 9 more years, Ivory.” He finally says. “That’s a long time.”

“I know,” I confirm softly.

Minutes pass. Ryan just holding me. He had the whole dad thing down. Him being a father of two: A 17-year-old and a 10-year-old, both boys. He didn’t press too hard on anything I said nor push me to go home right away. He was calm because I needed calmness. He knew that.

I don’t know how long passes till Ryan speaks again, “So, school on Monday?”

“Yeah,” I say with a sigh.

“Oh that sucks.” That’s gets a chuckle from me. “Ah ha!” he grins. “I saw that smile. Not a smirk, a smile. I knew you had it in you.”

I jab him with my elbow, letting my legs slip from my arms grasp and dangle over the edge.

“So anyway,” he continues, the smile in his voice. “I was thinking if Matt was ok with it, this coming Wednesday, there’s no school and maybe I could take you and your siblings surfing. The other guys can’t wait to go surfing with you again.”

“I’d like that,” I confess softly.

“Good,” he nods.

More time passes and I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore. I fall asleep.

♠ Matt’s POV ♠

I was sitting on my couch, my right leg jumping up and down in worry. Val sitting beside me, running her thumb over my hand. The police around me talking and working in finding my daughter. Usually you couldn’t file any case or anything until 24 hours but when it came down to a 9-year-old who’s been missing for 3 hours at night, well then damn right the police will come. Everyone knows what could happen to a 9-year-old little girl at night. I knew too and it was worrying the fuck out of me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her.

I hear some voices rise outside, I and the police in the room with me move to go outside. I almost collapse with relief. Ryan was handing over a sleeping Ivory to a police officer.

Oh thank you God.

She’s safe and home.

[[April 7, 2008]] \Monday\

♠ Damien’s POV ♠

“Hey Damien, come in,” Matt smiles, moving aside so I could come in.

“Hey Matt,” I greet back with a smile.

“Ivory!” Matt yells. “Come on! School!”

Ivory doesn’t call back like I knew she wouldn’t. Instead we both hear her coming down the stairs. Jeans, plain white tee-shirt, and gray checkered vans. Hair pulled back into a ponytail, also.

“Ok you two, have good first day. Come back right after school lets out.”

Last part obviously directed towards Ivory. All she does is nod and walk out the door, not even a bye to Matt. I looked at him, I know that hurt him.

“Bye Matt,” I smile like I didn’t know he was hurt.

He ties to smile back, “Bye D. Have fun.”

I roll my eyes, “At school? Yeah right.”

He chuckles. “Bye Damien.”

“Yeah yeah,” I sigh over dramatically.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

Ivory and I were in the same class due to her having skipped a grade. But that was cool. She had skipped 2nd grade so I’m used to it now. Besides, I’m the older brother. I gotta watch over her and being in the same class helps. Class hadn’t started yet so Ivory and I were sitting outside debating some music.

“Ivory?” we hear.

Her and I both look at see a brown haired and gray eyed boy.

“Yeah?” Ivory asks looking confused as to where this boy knows her from.

He smiles, “Hi I’m AJ! My dad’s Ryan, he said you’d be going to my school and maybe in my class.”

I nod upward to him, “What’s up? I’m Damien.”

“I know,” he says a little cocky but his smile shows he’s joking.

At that moment the bell rings. Ivory and I pick up our backpacks.

“You guys can sit next to me,” AJ says as we walk towards our classroom. “They’re the only two empty seats in the class anyway.”

“K,” both my sister and I agree.

\ ♠ ♠ [[Fast Forward]] ♠ ♠ \

“So, you surf?” Ivory asks we all seat down for lunch.

AJ grimaces, “Nah. As much as my dad wishes. I skate.”

Both my sister and I brighten up. “Really? Us too. Wanna go broadin’ after school?” I ask.

AJ smiles at me, “Yea. What about you Ivory?”

“Grounded,” she mumbles before biting into a sandwich.

I smirk as AJ does a mocking ‘ha ha’. Ivory just ignores and continues eating her lunch.

“D! Ivory!”

Both Ivory and I look over our shoulders and smile as Ellamae speeds our way, another girl by her side.