Let Me Be the One to Call You Baby

° FF 1 Day ° Monday °

]|[ Alice ]|[

Silence…

Don’t you hate that noise some times? The noise of nothing. And don’t tell me that can’t be true. Until you know absolute silence then you don’t know how deafening it can be. Over time, your heartbeat will slowly drive you crazy as it starts to take over your mind.

Shock…

Most people hate that, mostly the control freaks. They don’t like to be surprised because for that one moment, they’re not in control. You don’t know the who, what, where, or why. It’s a scary thing that gets our hearts pounding.

Love…

Rollercoaster of emotions. Emotions that overwhelm you so much it’s like you’re drowning. It’s terrifying but most people want it in the end, or they won’t stop searching for it till the end. It has our hearts going pitter-patter.

The truth…

Oh man; some people demand it, some people are completely horrified but it. Scared that if they do or don’t have the truth, it may break their hearts. Some people… are too blind to see it. Like Johnny, Zacky, and I.

How could I be so blind? They’re band-mates and best friends. How… how does this go unnoticed for 3 months? Oh god… what’s Johnny going to say?

1) I’m his sister, Zack’s his best friend.

2) His sister and best friend have had sex.

3) Though he’s a rockstar, he always denies the one man I can never see is a rockstar.

4) Then of course he may think he’s losing me to Zack. That would hurt him so much.

5) Lastly, there’s the whole fact the I’ve been lying to him for so long.

Dang it!

No matter what I do, I lose!

What I need… is a plan!

° FF 5 Days ° Saturday °

I take a deep breath before opening Johnny’s front door and walking in. He was lying back on the couch reading some magazine.

“Johnny,” I say to get his attention.

He looks over his magazine and smiles, “Hey sis.”

I take a seat on his leather recliner. “I um, John I—”

Johnny sits up concerned, placing his reading material on his coffee table. “Is everything ok Alice?”

“You know I love you right?” I ask him, not looking him in the eyes.

He rests his hand on my knee, “I know you do.”

“And you want me to be happy, like I want you to be happy.”

“Of course,” he answers frowning. “Is everything ok Alice? What’s wrong?”

I take a deep breath, “I-I got a um… date.”

The reaction was not as bad as I thought. His grip tightened, for only a moment, on my knee. His jaw and body tensed, and a blaze came to his eyes.

“What?” he asks lowly, eyes slightly narrow. “Who? It isn’t that Ry guy you told me about when I was on tour right?”

I swallow, “Ye-yeah.”

“No,” he denies, as easy as that.

The plan is still going but my reaction is true. My eyes water up and my lip trembles a little. Johnny sighs and reaches out, bring me into his arms; I burrow my face into his chest.

“Alice,” he sighs, petting my hair. “Please don’t be upset. This guy isn’t good enough for you.”

“You don’t even know him,” I whimper. “And you say every guy isn’t good enough.” By now the tears are flowing. “I just want to be loved. I want to get married and have kids. Why can’t I have that Johnny? I’m not different… I'm not.”

]|[ Johnny ]|[

“I know Alice, I know you’re not,” I whisper as I continue to pet her hair lightly. “I’ll ease up, I promise.”

I feel like such an ass as Alice continues to cry into my chest. I can’t help my reaction. I’ve been in protective mode since I found her when I was 13 and she was 9. I can’t really help it. I know I can’t protect her forever but it would kill me to see her hurt. I’ll call Zander and ask him about his Ry guy. Zander will be honest with me, he’s known Alice longer than me and wants the best for her.

° * FAST FORWARD * °

“Happy birthday Matt,” I grin sharing a manly hug with him.

“Thanks Christ,” he grins.

Matt’s 27th birthday was a couple days ago, Thursday, but we’re celebrating tonight. The birthday boy was soon pulled away and I found myself with Zacky.

“So where’s Alice?” I ask him.

He sighs, looking very frustrated. “With her brother. She said she tried to get out to come but her brother was having none of that. Sorry Johnny, you’ll meet her soon.”

I nod, “No hurry. When you poppin’ the question?”

Zack smiles, “I dunno. I’d like to do it soon but want to meet her brother first.”

“Good plan,” I agree.

° FF 4 Days ° Wednesday °

]|[ Alice ]|[

“I love you,” I smile pecking Zacky on his lips.

“And I love you,” he grins, giving me another kiss.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” we hear Brian groan, then whine from Michelle hitting him.

“Be quiet,” Michelle tells him.

Brian sighs over dramatically.

“So Alice.” I look over at Michelle. “What’s the plan you said you had?”

“Oh,” I smile. “I told my brother I had a date. Zander told me that John called him to ask up about ‘Ry’. Johnny gave the ok but wants to meet ‘Ry’ before we leave for our date. Maybe that will work besides just coming out and saying I’ve had a boyfriend for over 3 months.”

“When’s the date?” Zack asks.

“Saturday.”

“Oh!” Val suddenly says. “Alice, me and the girls are planning on go to the beach soon, to get some sun. You want to come?”

I frown, “Sorry Val. I have a doctors appointment in an hour and half.”

“Are you ok?” Jimmy asks lightly.

“Yeah,” I smile. “I just haven’t been feeling that well since around the 4th of July. So I’m gonna go and check up on it.”

“Do you want me there baby?” Zacky asks, placing a butterfly kiss on my temple.

I look up at him. “That’s ok Tamu. I’ll be fine.”

° FF 2 Days ° Friday °

I was over at Zack’s, along with Matt, Jimmy, Brian, and Val; Michelle and Leana had work. The doctor’s office should be calling some time on my cell phone today on all the tests. When Johnny found out I was going to the doctors, he insisted that I get a lot of tests done, to just make sure everything was in check.

The guys were inside, and Val and I were in that swing chair outside talking. Keeping quiet as we talked about her dinner tonight. Her dinner plan on telling Matt she’s pregnant. Only her, Michelle, her cousin, and I know. I don’t know why she wanted me to know before Matt but she’s 5 weeks pregnant and found out last week. She’s been scared to tell Matt.

Unexpectedly, my phone goes off. Lifting it off my lap I look at the screen. My doctor. I don’t tell Val it’s my doctor, just that I’m gonna take my call inside.

]|[ Zacky ]|[

I hear my name being called from upstairs, it was Alice and she sounded… different, almost anger and urgent. That’s new. I immediately get up and walk upstairs to my room. I open my door to see Alice looking at me like I was the scum on the bottom of her shoes. She had her cell phone in her hand and then suddenly chucked it at me. She continued to pick up anything in reach, heavy or light, to throw at me. In panic I dodged them and kept on moving out of the way as each item passed my body, some things hitting me causing me wince.

‘That the hells going on? What’d the fuck did I do?’

I looked at Alice and saw that she had tears streaming down her face.

‘Alice… what was wrong with my baby?’

I tried my hardest to walk closer to her, so I can cradle her in my arms and find out what was wrong. Find out if I did something so I could fix it. She was in so much pain and I wanted to help, but she wouldn’t let me anywhere near her! Every step equaled more stuff being thrown at me with a greater force. The next item she picked up was a lamp off my nightstand, she threw it at me with so much force that it hit the wall with a loud clash, the light bulb also shattering.

I decided it best to just stop trying to reach her, she’d get tired before she hurt herself I hope. I could hear the guys making noise behind my door behind me. I resisted rolling my eyes at them, not wanting Alice to think I was rolling them at her.

“Baby,” I tired to reason unable to keep the pled from my voice. “What’s wrong?”

She finally dropped the pillow in her hand and collapses to the ground, crying in her hands. I’m by her side in a flash, trying to pull into my arms but she starts fighting me.

“No, no!” she yelled struggling then stopped, saying in a weaker voice, “No, no, nooo…”

“Shhh…” I coo, rocking her back and forth. “I’m here baby. I’m here. Everything’s ok. Shhh…”

She just continued to sob. I heard my door open and glance that way, the guys and Val were all peaking in. Alice’s sobbing stops and she suddenly forces herself from my arms and stands up. I stand up with her, scared and concerned.

“I-I-I need t-to go-o,” she stuttered, trying to control her tears.

“Baby,” I say soft trying to hug her again.

“No!” she yells leaping away from me. “I need to go. I need to see my brother.”

I frown. “Is he ok?” I asked worried beyond belief that he was hurt or worse— that would hurt Alice so bad.

“He’s fine,” she swallows thickly. “I need to go.”

She doesn’t wait for me to say anything and hurriedly moves to my door, opening she doesn’t bat an eyes at everyone there, just squeezes past them. I’m too confused and heart broken to follow. From my room I hear the front door slam. She’s gone.

“Zack,” I hear Val say softly coming over to my and hugging me. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I mutter hugging her back. “She called me up here only to start throwing stuff at me and crying. I- she didn’t even want me to hold her.”

“Come on Zack,” Val says softly, pulling back from the hug. “Let’s go downstairs and relax.”

“We’ll clean up,” I hear Brian say.

I just nod, not really feeling like talking. One thing was clear, Alice is hurt about something. I don’t know what but if I find out the something is a someone then they better fucking watch out because I’ll kill ‘em.

° FF 2 Days ° Sunday °

]|[ Johnny ]|[

Alice got sick Friday night, and continued to be sick Saturday. Bad thing: she called in sick to work, which she hates. Good thing: no date with that guy, Ry. Alice was never really sick. Once maybe twice a year, but nothing big. She was sick 4th of July and been feeling funny these last couple days so she went to the doctor, and me being me made her take a whole bunch of tests. In her words, I’m a worry wart.

She said the doctor called Friday and everything was ok. Big weight off my shoulders but something’s still wrong. But maybe I’m just imaging it, the older brother in me thinking something’s there when there really isn’t.

But even with Alice sick I’m ecstatic at Matt’s and Val’s news from last night. They’re pregnant! Matt will make such a cool dad and Val’s going to be a great mom.

° FF 10 Days ° Wednesday °

“You got that sis?” I ask her.

She grabs her bag from the conveyer belt. “Yep,” she smiles.

Two Mondays ago, I made the sudden decision go on vacation with Alice. I called her work and told Zander, he called all her appointments saying Alice was sick and needs to get away. All her people she gives lessons to are very understanding and love Alice, so they were ok with rescheduling for a later date. Then after that, I called the airport and booked tickets. To Paris. I had always promised to take her there. She really needed to get away. She was unsure on going at first but soon gave in when I told her I missed spending time with just her.

I told the guys and girls I was going to South Carolina because my cousin was sick again. The fake cousin I made up months ago when Matt caught me saying ‘I love you’ to Alice on the phone and the one I told Zacky that was sick so I could get out with hanging with them and hang with Alice. They’re concerned. I feel bad for lying but I have been for years so I’m used to it. Anyway, an hour after phoning for tickets, Alice came home and we started packing right away.

Alice was so excited after her uneasiness wearied off. We had a blast in Paris! Lucky me, Alice wasn’t all into seeing museums and stuff, just the big monuments. It was pretty relaxing. Alice must have taken dozens and dozens of pictures.

At the moment I was driving over to my parents, with gifts of course. Alice was meeting up with the girls to give them their gifts and catch up.

- * Elsewhere * -

“Tamu!” Alice cried happily jumping into his arms right when he opened the door.