My Greatest Fear Is I'll Be Just Like Him

I can't believe it will end like this.

I never dreamed it'd happen like this.

My death wasn't meant to be like this.

But it's all for the best.

My death had to happen so it could happen.

It's for the best

Please mother… understand it is and please don't cry for me no more.

I did it for you, for them, for us.

It was all for the best

Confused? Well, let's go back in time for a bit while I have a few more minutes left in this world. It all started before I was even born, but I didn't know that. I was so young when I found out the truth. So young…

{ ~ Rewind: 9-Years-Old ~ }

I had just finished a good 4 hour practice. I needed to keep in top form, what with me being a Jonin and all. I was so happy when I became one! Of course I couldn't use my special move to get to where I am today. Mom commanded me not to because she wanted me to succeed without my advantage, that way when I do beat anyone without it, it would make it all the more sweeter. I guess I understand, and it really does make it better. Moms not a ninja but dad is. He's a genius like me! He became a Chunin at age 6, like me, but he became a Jonin at age 13. I don't tell anyone, but I'm secretly ecstatic that I beat my dad by 4 years. My younger twin brother is still in school but I help him all the time. Kei is my best friend. We always have each others back.

But I'm getting off topic.

I had just finished a good 4 hour practice and was heading casually back home. When the wind blew a strand of my sapphire blue hair across my matching sapphire blue eyes, I reached up and gently placed it behind my ear. At that moment I also reached my home. I always move quietly. I don't mean too. I'm a ninja and ninja's are suppose to be silent. Moving without a sound is automatic for me, I don't need to think about it.

I guess I was too silent, or I never would have heard my parents words.

“I think Junsei is mature enough to know.” My mom's voice reach me first. “She's a Jonin, she's smart and will understand.”

'Understand what?' I thought.

“What? That her fathers an evil murder? She's still young Uta,” my father's voice answer back.

'But wait… her father? Dad's not evil, this I know. That means… dad's not dad. What the hell?'

“She's a smart girl. She might not take it very well but she'll be able to handle it once she thinks about it,” my mom continued on. “This I know.”

“Uta…” dad- no Kakashi sighed. “Do you really think Junsei will take it well to find out her father is Itachi?”

'Itachi? But… no one’s had that name since… no… it can't be. But if it wasn't… why would it be such a big deal? No no no. But… my special move, my Sharingan I thought I got from d- Kakashi. It… makes since in a way. But… that would mean… my real fathers a killer. He's evil and his blood… runs through my veins.'

“Junsei needs to know,” my mom pressed on. “Kei is still to young and innocent but Junsei can take it.”

“It's bad enough that Tsunade knows,” Kakashi said, and from his voice I can tell he's frowning. “Please Uta, she's not ready.”

'I guess I had better come clean.'

With that thought, I stepped out and showed my chakra. They both turned to me, trying to hide their nervous looks. I can hear their thoughts: did she hear?

“It doesn't matter if I'm ready or not,” I finally spoke. “I know. I know my whole life has been a lie. A lie that you two created.”

“Junsei,” my mother said, her eyes filling with so much emotion.

I couldn't look at her so I lock my blue eyes on Kakashi. “We were always going to tell you,” he told me. “Just only when you were ready. For when it was safer.”

“That's a damn lie,” I glared.

“Junsei,” my mother said again, so much emotions it dug into my heart.

I just wanted to yell. Climb to the highest mountain and yell. Let it out for all to hear my grief.

“Are you really my mom?” I asked it in anger, needing to let it out on someone. “Is that a lie too?”

“Honey,” she said in that soft voice. “I'm your real mom, I gave birth to both you and Kei.”

“And my father?” I question with that anger still there. “Were you really ever going to tell me that my father is an S-class criminal?”

“Of course we would have told you,” Kakashi said. “We're just scared that he'll find out. We can't let it be known.”

“I can protect myself from him,” I said in a firm voice. “I don't need you're help or protection Kakashi.”

“Junsei,” my mother said in a shocked voice. “Kakashi is still your father! He raised you! He was there for yours and Kei's birth. He was there for every birthday, all your training and advancements. You may not have his blood but you have his heart. He's your father.”

“We're still your parents,” Kakashi added gently.

I just looked at them. The urge to yell at the top of my lungs only increased. It was getting hot. My anger was rising too high. If I wasn't a Jonin then I would have lost control on my emotions long ago.

I took a deep breath. “No. I respect and thank you for the past 9 years but you're not my father, Kakashi. My blood isn't yours as I used to think. My blood…” I took a semi deep breath. “My blood is the blood of the Uchiha. When I believe the Kei is old enough to understand, I'm changing my name. I'm no Hatake as you both led me to believe.”

I could see Kakashi was hurt by my speech but he hid it like a good Jonin. “The village won't take it well Junsei. Daughter of Uchiha Itachi, it will scare them.”

My eyes narrow slightly. “I'm changing my name. Not who I am. I'll still be Junsei. Not the whole village are idiots. Some will be smart enough to realize and see that I'm still Junsei. I have his blood, not his heart and mind.”

“We know that,” my mom instantly says.

“We just don't want you to get hurt,” Kakashi repeats. “Itachi will come for you. He might take you away or hurt you.”

I scoff and turn my back on them, but right before I walk out, I leave them with these words: “I'd like to see him try. I'll kill him before he took his next breath.”

And then I left them standing there. It was too much even for me. I needed some peace, some calm. I needed to think over the fact that my whole life until this point has been a lie. It's a lot to take it.