Kaleidoscope Eyes

The rain came as a relief.

Both a literal relief from the sun, and it acted as a catharsis. It cleaned the dirty car parks, the dusty trailers and the sweat off everyone’s brows. It brought back the freshness that Warped had started out with and Isabella loved every second of it. She was the first person to run out of the kitchen and just stand in the rain, arms held out to catch the big fat drops that tumbled down from the sky. Her eyes were shut as she lifted her face up to the clouds and let the drops run down her face. For the first time in a long time she felt new and fresh. The rain and her long talk with John only established what she had already assumed a couple of weeks ago: that Warped would be the overhaul of her life.

“You’re going to catch the worst cold ever if you stay out here much longer.”

The voice belonged to a person that Isabella hadn’t seen for a while. She opened her eyes and saw Travis stood in front of her, his red hair shielded by the hood of his free All Time Low hoodie.

She smiled at him and together they walked in silence to the kitchen. It wasn’t very busy because it was another off day and most people had gone to the city for lunch in a diner or had gone home. Without asking Travis she made him a cup of coffee with lots of sugar and milk. She handed it to him before pouring herself a black coffee, trying to keep busy and avoid long conversation. But Travis knew better.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said slowly not sure if he should sound resentful or upset.

“You sort of disappeared didn’t you?” Isabella said with a small smile that she hoped was neutral. “You didn’t like it that I was spending time with John right?”

For the first time Travis looked awkward, like a puppy in the doghouse. He also felt guilty. He and John were two very different people and sadly Travis had let gossip and rumours influence him. Now he knew better, but pride didn’t let him admit to her that he was wrong. It was a twisted sense of brotherly affection, but from a person who wanted to be so much more. He had wanted to look out for her, but being so blinded by his own interests he never realized hers. Having evaluated the occurrences of the past weeks he now knew better. In fact he was making a conscious effort to talk to John and get to know him, which at times was difficult because even though John appeared to be so outgoing around his friends at times he was painfully shy and silent.

In the end there was little to say. Travis only nodded in agreement to what Isabella had said and the silence hung between them in a way that was so different to when she was with John. Here she felt the need to fill these silences, she couldn’t revel in them and keep them for her own. With John the silence was golden after a day of kitchen noises and constant flood of music drifting from all the different stages.

“He’s a good guy.”

Isabella’s statement again only drew a nod from Travis and it was beginning to frustrate her, but she could see that he was working himself up to respond to her.

“I know that now. Garrett was saying how he’s helping you through some stuff and also that you’re good for him. That you’re the only one apart from the guys in the band who really gets him.”

The rain was pounding down on the trailer now creating a background beat to their conversation and for a while it was the only thing either of them listened to as the words sunk into Isabella’s mind.

She had never been described as ‘good for someone’. In fact she always got the feeling that she was the opposite. For the longest time she was convinced that Mark’s reasons for acting out as he did, was her. It was her fault that he changed and it was her own fault that she got hit. These were the kinds of feelings she had been carrying around ever since senior year. Mark’s old football friends accused Isabella of changing him. None of them had any idea of what a hurtful man their team mate was, all they saw was that his mood and demeanour had changed and the easiest person to blame was the long suffering girlfriend.

Travis downed the last dregs of his coffee and smiled at Isabella.

“I’m sorry I was such a jerk,” he hugged her tightly and waved goodbye.

She stood looking out the wide open kitchen window and watched Travis run through the rain, holding his hood close to his hair. She picked up his empty cup and with her own coffee cup took it to the sink. To accompany the patter of the rain she pressed play on the communal iPod that was always in place on an old battered docking station.

The first song that came on was a song that she had been so familiar with all her younger years. Wonderwall by Oasis. Always such a clique song, but a soundtrack to older memories, she had come so far since then. From all the long talks with Mark when she first started falling from him to now: standing in a trailer kitchen, a university drop out but at the same time feeling happier than ever before. She had grown up, maybe too quickly and maybe she had been forced to, but it felt right.

Leaving the music playing and the cups drying on the rack, she walked out of the trailer and sat outside in the pouring rain. The only people that she saw were couples fleeing from the rain or grudging technicians trying to keep stage equipment and boxes dry.

Even though she was a California girl through and through she loved the rain. There was nothing better than to sit on the beach as the rain started to pour down. The rain had been her solitude through the hard times. The world didn’t seem so harsh and cruel in rain. Not many people understood her affection for the rain but that was okay. It was fine to not have everything in common with people, there are something’s that are better kept personal. As the rain kept pouring down, soaking her clothes until they stuck to her like a second skin, some unknown courage swept through her. She had no idea where it had been stored but suddenly she felt brave. The past couple of weeks had proven to her that she could be on her own and be independent from her old life which was now nothing more than a shadow, a blemish on her new life.

While profound thoughts flooded her brain, a group of people walked past her, holding jackets over their heads or pulling their hats further over their heads. One of the group members looked over to see Isabella sat cross-legged in front of the kitchen, and ran towards her. Once they were closer she saw that it was John.

“What are you doing?” He asked with an incredulous look on his face which had trails of water streaming down it and drop from his nose. He had given up on protecting his hair with a hood and looked absolutely drenched.

“Enjoying the rain,” she said with a wide smile.

“Come on with us,” John said pointing back to the group, which on closer inspection turned out to be the rest of the band. “We just got back from dinner and are heading back to the bus. I’ll get you a change of dry clothes.”

He held out his hands towards her and she let herself be pulled up by him. He put his arm around her to clamp her to his side so she wasn’t tempted to stay in the rain longer. They jogged through the rain together and the happy sense of courage was still flowing through all of Isabella’s veins.