The New Kind of Madness

First off - hi. I could say that all day. I'm Frank. Frank Iero.

Got that? Good. Well, I'm here, writing about myself in a way.

Stupid, right? I can't help it, really, being all bored when I'm in hospital with a broken leg. The result of Gerard, Gee, that silly little man kissing me on stage mid-song.

Yeah, I know we do that all the time. God, did I enjoy it. But then one day, it so happened that he went a little overboard. Nope, not just quick kissing, a full and harsh make out session right there on stage. Good going Gee, broke my fucking leg.

And of course, he didn't give a sign that he was actually going to do that, you know? Usually, I was prepared. But on that day…

Sheesh. You DO NOT want to know the gory details of how I happened to fall down, bang into a speaker, and...

Oh, forget it. It's getting gross. I didn't like the cracking sound my leg made, enough said. End of story, goodbye, the end, and I'm bored here in this hospital ward. White all around, spread the goddam peace!

(Narrator's P.O.V)

Frank groaned, crumpling up the piece of paper and shooting it basketball league style into the blue wastepaper basket all the way at the other end of the ward.

"Score!" he muttered, pumping his hand into the air in mock triumph as the paper wad landed a bulls eye.

I'm digressing, he thought, moaning. Sheesh, I wish someone would actually come by to visit me...

None of the fans knew he was in this ward, this hospital - everything was kept pretty private and under wraps. If the hordes upon hordes of fans actually knew....Frank shivered. He'd have broken more than just a leg lying in here.

The guys were too busy covering up his absence to come visit - Frank knew they cared, but they were just...too busy, you know? Especially Gerard. That man had more than enough on his hands now.

Frank sighed, running an exasperated hand through his dyed black (and still growing) hair. Thinking about Gerard and that man's goddam private-and-romantic life just made him feel all worked up and tense.

...More like sexually frustrated.

"Fuck you, Gerard. Stop making me feel like that, okay?" Frank condemned the man in his mind's eye. Thank god he didn't have to share the ward with another patient, else he'd been driven out of the hospital itself due to excessive swearing already.

"What fuck me?"

Shit! Frank sat bolt upright as he noticed the man leaning casually against the wooden doorframe, both hands stuck into the pockets of his Misfits hoodie. Hair dyed black and skin as porcelain pale as ever, Gerard Way stood there, smirking slightly at the hospitalized man.

"Err...hi, Gerard." Frank mumbled. Damn me and my mouth.

"Hey Frank." The older man crossed the room in quick strides, sitting on the stiff hospital bed and beside Frank. "Sorry I couldn't visit you earlier. My Chem.’s been busy. We've been looking around for a replacement. Matt couldn’t fill in for you because Mikey’s still away." Gerard pulled a face.

Frank frowned as he studied the man looking down on him with apologetic hazel eyes. Gerard seemed so much more tired these days.

"And have you actually found my replacement...?"

A groan. "No."

(Frank's P.O.V)

"Oh," I blushed, remembering that night on the stage, the speakers, my leg, the pain and all that shit. Through it all, I still enjoyed our kiss.

"Sorry for making you worry, Gee."

He looked at me, puzzled. "You shouldn't be worried," he grinned, patting my head and messing up my already hopeless hair up some more. "Actually, it kinda was my fault too. Sorry about that."

"Hey, but you shouldn't be here taking care of me," I pouted, feeling guilty. "What about the band?"

“What band?”

”Gerard…”

The male smirked, leaning over and ruffling my hair. “You know I don’t mean that.”

“Huh,” I snorted, teasing. “Who knows?”

Bending forward, I took care not to upset my leg (which had this white plaster cast all round it) and whacked Gerard on his shoulder. After all, the man WAS seated on the bed and relatively close to me.

“FRANK! You know, even though you’ve broken your leg, you sure can hit hard.”

Gerard wore a hurt and scandalized expression on his face, one a drama queen like him could put on any time of the day. Ever considered taking up acting, young man?

…I wouldn’t dare say young. Gerard’s an old, old, OLD man now. He’ll kill me if he ever finds out what I’m thinking.

“Frank! Can you stop looking at me like that?”

Oops. I blinked, hastily correcting my smirk into an innocent expression that couldn’t fool someone with a half brain.

“Okay, fine.” I tried grinning my best at the man. I’m such a fake, so sue me.

Gerard sighed, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder, causing tingles of warmth to spread throughout my body. “I have to go now, Frank. My Chemical Romance has got so many things to do, I…I don’t really know how I can handle everything now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Gerard paused, looking out of the little square window from which sunlight was streaming in. “It’s so hard just to be the same crazy Revenge me on stage now, I mean, my style on stage has changed. I’ve changed. I feel like I’ve fucked everything up for you, and everyone else. I…I just don’t know anything anymore.”

“Oh, Gee,” I smiled, taking his hand in mine. Just like the friends we were. Friends.

“It’s going to be okay, Gerard. It’s going to be okay. You’re yourself on stage, don’t try to act. It’ll just wear you out. You haven’t ruined anything for the band, and you know we all love you.” I stopped. ‘We all’? Well, that was true, but…I loved him above the rest, and he doesn’t even know.

“I know you’ve changed, Gee. Everyone changes, you can’t help it. I’ve changed as well, not only in looks, new tattoos and hair. It’s just that people don’t see me inside, past the hair, the tattoos and the looks. But we’re all loved, you of all people should know that. That’s the truth, Gerard. You ARE loved.”

I’ll be lonely when you’re gone, all by myself. I’m sorry you don’t know how I feel, I’m sorry how cowardly I am for not telling you.

He stared, shocked at my little spiel, then smiled, softly and slowly. “Thank you, Frank. Thank you.”

“You know what?” Gerard transferred his gaze from the window and back to me, still smiling in a way that softened his features delightfully in the milky sunlight. “I think…I think the band can wait for now. I’ll just stay a little longer.”

“Really? There’s no need, I’ll be fine…”

Gerard leaned forward now, his face closer than it should to mine.

“You’ll get lonely,” his pale pink lips still curved in a smile, he pressed them to my forehead, sending a warming feel through my chilled skin. I shivered at his soft touch, and yet, enjoyed it. “It’s okay, I’ll stay here with you.”

I blinked, glad for him, glad for his presence. My confessions would wait, although I still couldn’t make out what he meant by kissing my forehead so suddenly. A chaste friend to friend gesture. Is all.

As strong arms embraced me, drawing me closer to his body, I sighed, wrapping my own around him.

I gave a little smile as I snuggled my small frame up to Gerard’s, taking in his scent, the smell of his clothes, the steady, rhythmic thumping of his heart against his chest. A blanket of warmth shrouded us as I hugged him tighter, bringing him closer to me.

I closed my eyes, relaxing against the comfort of his presence, the security of his arms around me.

Floating off to a peaceful sleep I haven’t had in ages, I drifted off in Gerard’s protective, sturdy arms. In the arms of the man I loved so dearly.

I’m glad you’re here with me…