Green Day Vs Bush 2- Bush's Revenge
Adrienne's choice.
I arrived home and found Adie waiting for me in the hall. She leapt onto my neck, hugging me desperately and crying hard as I entered.
"Adie, what's wrong?" I asked, trying to comfort her.
"Billie, thank God you're okay!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"One of my friends called. Said she swore she'd seen you sat on the bridge. Like you were gonna..." she trailed off
"Adie, relax, I'm fine. It must have been someone else." I was lying, and I knew it, but I didn't want o worry her.
"You're sure?" She looked up at me. It's so hard to lie to her, especially when she was miserable or scared. I nodded. She smiled and relaxed. She couldn't know how bad I felt. She would get worried, and I don't want to scare her. I loved her, and I wanted to protect her.
But as it turned out, I couldn't. The next day was one of the worst of Bush's torment. I was still miserable from Mike and Tre leaving me, and he made it worse. There was a memory he had obviously found. One memory I had locked away so it wouldn't torment me. He kept flashing me back to it. It was a memory that I never wanted to see again:
I saw me, as a 15 year old kid, already cut and bruised from life with an abusive step dad, sat in the bathroom with a razor pressed to my wrist. I remembered how good it had felt at the time, how much I had hoped I would go too far, cut too deep. I tried to forget, but it was impossible with Bush shoving it into my mind. I remembered how bad I had felt before, and how good I felt after. But I refused to do that this time.
I had more now, people who cared about me. And life wasn't that bad now. But he kept pushing me and pushing me. All day forcing the memories into my head, from a place in my mind I thought I had barred off long ago. Eventually I went to bed, hoping to get some reprieve in sleep.
ADIE'S POV.
I woke up suddenly, and rolled over. Billie had gone. I sat up and looked around. The light was on in our bathroom, so I presumed he was there. That was odd on its own. Billie almost never got up, and if he did he never woke me up. Something was wrong. I snuck towards the door and peeked through the crack.
What I saw almost made me scream. Billie was stood by the sink, a razor blade in his hand. I watched him, not wanting to see, but unable to turn away. I watched as he lowered it to his wrist, but he stopped. "What the fuck am I doing?" he murmured. He put the blade down and turned around. I ran back to bed, praying he hadn't seen or heard me.
He got back in and snuggled up against me. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I was sure he would hear my pounding heartbeat. I was right. He sat up and looked at me in the dark.
"Adie, what's wrong?" I stayed quiet, hoping that he wouldn't guess what I had seen.
"Adie, you didn't see... " I looked away.
"Oh Adie, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd... Oh God, don't think any less of me because of that." He was scared.
He thought I didn't understand. But I understood perfectly. Billie had some serious problems, and he was beginning to scare me. He saw my expression, he could read me like a book, and I saw blind panic in his eyes. "Adie, don't leave me, please."
"Billie, what makes you think I would?"
"Because of what you saw tonight. You wouldn't wanna put the kids through that again. I understand. But I need you around Adie, you're what keeps me going. Without you, I don't know what I'd do."
"Don't worry Billie, I would never leave you." But even as I said it I knew I was lying. He scared me when he did things like this. I might go if things got worse. I was torn between loyalty and self-preservation.
If I distanced myself from him, it wouldn't hurt so much if things went badly wrong. But I knew I couldn't abandon him without a good reason. I was going to find out what was wrong with him. And despite what he said, I had a feeling it was him on the bridge...
"Adie, what's wrong?" I asked, trying to comfort her.
"Billie, thank God you're okay!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"One of my friends called. Said she swore she'd seen you sat on the bridge. Like you were gonna..." she trailed off
"Adie, relax, I'm fine. It must have been someone else." I was lying, and I knew it, but I didn't want o worry her.
"You're sure?" She looked up at me. It's so hard to lie to her, especially when she was miserable or scared. I nodded. She smiled and relaxed. She couldn't know how bad I felt. She would get worried, and I don't want to scare her. I loved her, and I wanted to protect her.
But as it turned out, I couldn't. The next day was one of the worst of Bush's torment. I was still miserable from Mike and Tre leaving me, and he made it worse. There was a memory he had obviously found. One memory I had locked away so it wouldn't torment me. He kept flashing me back to it. It was a memory that I never wanted to see again:
I saw me, as a 15 year old kid, already cut and bruised from life with an abusive step dad, sat in the bathroom with a razor pressed to my wrist. I remembered how good it had felt at the time, how much I had hoped I would go too far, cut too deep. I tried to forget, but it was impossible with Bush shoving it into my mind. I remembered how bad I had felt before, and how good I felt after. But I refused to do that this time.
I had more now, people who cared about me. And life wasn't that bad now. But he kept pushing me and pushing me. All day forcing the memories into my head, from a place in my mind I thought I had barred off long ago. Eventually I went to bed, hoping to get some reprieve in sleep.
ADIE'S POV.
I woke up suddenly, and rolled over. Billie had gone. I sat up and looked around. The light was on in our bathroom, so I presumed he was there. That was odd on its own. Billie almost never got up, and if he did he never woke me up. Something was wrong. I snuck towards the door and peeked through the crack.
What I saw almost made me scream. Billie was stood by the sink, a razor blade in his hand. I watched him, not wanting to see, but unable to turn away. I watched as he lowered it to his wrist, but he stopped. "What the fuck am I doing?" he murmured. He put the blade down and turned around. I ran back to bed, praying he hadn't seen or heard me.
He got back in and snuggled up against me. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I was sure he would hear my pounding heartbeat. I was right. He sat up and looked at me in the dark.
"Adie, what's wrong?" I stayed quiet, hoping that he wouldn't guess what I had seen.
"Adie, you didn't see... " I looked away.
"Oh Adie, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd... Oh God, don't think any less of me because of that." He was scared.
He thought I didn't understand. But I understood perfectly. Billie had some serious problems, and he was beginning to scare me. He saw my expression, he could read me like a book, and I saw blind panic in his eyes. "Adie, don't leave me, please."
"Billie, what makes you think I would?"
"Because of what you saw tonight. You wouldn't wanna put the kids through that again. I understand. But I need you around Adie, you're what keeps me going. Without you, I don't know what I'd do."
"Don't worry Billie, I would never leave you." But even as I said it I knew I was lying. He scared me when he did things like this. I might go if things got worse. I was torn between loyalty and self-preservation.
If I distanced myself from him, it wouldn't hurt so much if things went badly wrong. But I knew I couldn't abandon him without a good reason. I was going to find out what was wrong with him. And despite what he said, I had a feeling it was him on the bridge...