Erotomania.
1/1
She thought I couldn't tell, but I could. Those eyes. She watched me. Everything I did, I could feel those damn eyes following my every move. Watering my flowers, mowing the lawn, getting my mail…it didn't matter. She was completely and utterly obsessed with me.
Part of me wanted to tell her that she was wasting her time, because I was strictly heterosexual. But then again, I would be crushed if I ever hurt her feelings. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like if I were madly in love with a stranger as she was with me, only to have my dreams crushed by that person telling me they had no interest. I also didn't want her to think she had a chance, even though she was quite alluring. She had a mysterious look about her. She'd come to her mailbox and look at me for a full fifteen seconds. I counted.
I also felt bad for that poor man that came to visit her almost every day. Why was she leading him on when she clearly lusted for me? Was she so lonely, she had to fool a male into thinking he was the one for her? I wondered if he knew how she felt about me. If he could tell. She'd advertised it on billboards, at baseballs games, sign language through her window... It seemed odd that he didn't catch on by now. Maybe he realized that it was a lost cause and figured in time, she would fall for him, and get over me.
Today was just like the others. I saw her walking around in her living room. The shades were open (probably so she would be able to watch me if I ever came into view). I felt her eyes on me, and every time I looked, she would turn her back to me, thinking she was quick enough to pretend she was never staring. Then she would peek back over her shoulder, half of her face obscured by black, long hair.
By now, I was getting used to it. It had been so long, I didn't mind her obsession with me. It became routine. I was actually starting to like it. She was a very pretty girl. And if I were a man, I probably would be sexually attracted to her. I was almost willing to admit that I was sexually attracted to her now. She knew how to communicate with me. I heard her daily.
I love you, she would say to me, using her mind.
I know, but I simply can't be with you, I would say, sometimes out loud.
You mean everything to me. I wake up thinking of you. If you gave me a chance…you'd see. She'd then glance at me again from her window.
It's not for me, I'd say, closing my blinds.
That was the extent of our telepathic conversations. I was beginning to be afraid. She was starting to get to me. Maybe I should entertain the idea of being with her. She was genuine in her requests, and she only wanted me to see what it would be like with her. I would entertain the idea, and then tell her it wasn't for me. Maybe that would satisfy her, and she'd lighten up on her efforts to win my affection.
At that moment I had made the decision to go to her house the next day. I would have flowers, and I would look my best. She already couldn't resist me, so looking my best would show her that I meant business.
I showed up the next evening in a dress, with flowers like I'd planned. I rang the doorbell and heard shuffling around for about ten seconds before she opened the door. I was shocked. Never had I been attracted to a woman, but she looked beautiful. She tried her best for me, because somehow, she knew I was coming. I felt like now, I had to make this evening worthwhile for her. I had to be believable.
"Can…I help you?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She was playing a game with me.
"I came. I know I've been resistant, but I wanted to give it a try," I said, smiling and holding out the flowers to her.
"…Do I know you?" she asked, same confused look plastered on her delicate face.
"I understand you must be upset that I ignored your advances, but it took me time. What matters is that I'm here now," I said, walking into her house. Her eyes were wide and she stared at me.
"Uh…I'm really going to have to ask you to leave." That's what she said with her voice. With her eyes, she was saying, I've waited for you for years. Will you leave me now or love me? Kiss me if you mean this.
And that's what I did. I grabbed her in my arms, and I kissed her. She immediately pushed me away.
"I don't know who you are, but you have the wrong idea." She was playing with me! The woman had grown so confident in herself by my being here, that she felt the right to play with me. I felt I'd given her a chance, and that's all I had to do. She wanted me, but she was being arrogant, thinking I crawled to her because of her allure and mind games. She was obsessed with me, and she thought this was cute. It wasn't. So I walked out the door.
Don't! Come back…I need you. I was only fooling, I heard her say as I walked down the front path of her house. She'd lost her chance.
Not very soon after I left, her male friend pulled into her driveway. He walked up the path, knocked on the door and she let him in. Her window was open, and I could see them talking in her living room. She looked frantic and kept pointing at my house. He kept looking towards me. My lights were off, and they couldn't see me. I didn't need to know what they were saying. She was telling him that in order to win me back, she needed to stop seeing him. And he needed to stop coming around. Would I give her another chance? I don't know at this point. I'd have to think about it.
Part of me wanted to tell her that she was wasting her time, because I was strictly heterosexual. But then again, I would be crushed if I ever hurt her feelings. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like if I were madly in love with a stranger as she was with me, only to have my dreams crushed by that person telling me they had no interest. I also didn't want her to think she had a chance, even though she was quite alluring. She had a mysterious look about her. She'd come to her mailbox and look at me for a full fifteen seconds. I counted.
I also felt bad for that poor man that came to visit her almost every day. Why was she leading him on when she clearly lusted for me? Was she so lonely, she had to fool a male into thinking he was the one for her? I wondered if he knew how she felt about me. If he could tell. She'd advertised it on billboards, at baseballs games, sign language through her window... It seemed odd that he didn't catch on by now. Maybe he realized that it was a lost cause and figured in time, she would fall for him, and get over me.
Today was just like the others. I saw her walking around in her living room. The shades were open (probably so she would be able to watch me if I ever came into view). I felt her eyes on me, and every time I looked, she would turn her back to me, thinking she was quick enough to pretend she was never staring. Then she would peek back over her shoulder, half of her face obscured by black, long hair.
By now, I was getting used to it. It had been so long, I didn't mind her obsession with me. It became routine. I was actually starting to like it. She was a very pretty girl. And if I were a man, I probably would be sexually attracted to her. I was almost willing to admit that I was sexually attracted to her now. She knew how to communicate with me. I heard her daily.
I love you, she would say to me, using her mind.
I know, but I simply can't be with you, I would say, sometimes out loud.
You mean everything to me. I wake up thinking of you. If you gave me a chance…you'd see. She'd then glance at me again from her window.
It's not for me, I'd say, closing my blinds.
That was the extent of our telepathic conversations. I was beginning to be afraid. She was starting to get to me. Maybe I should entertain the idea of being with her. She was genuine in her requests, and she only wanted me to see what it would be like with her. I would entertain the idea, and then tell her it wasn't for me. Maybe that would satisfy her, and she'd lighten up on her efforts to win my affection.
At that moment I had made the decision to go to her house the next day. I would have flowers, and I would look my best. She already couldn't resist me, so looking my best would show her that I meant business.
I showed up the next evening in a dress, with flowers like I'd planned. I rang the doorbell and heard shuffling around for about ten seconds before she opened the door. I was shocked. Never had I been attracted to a woman, but she looked beautiful. She tried her best for me, because somehow, she knew I was coming. I felt like now, I had to make this evening worthwhile for her. I had to be believable.
"Can…I help you?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She was playing a game with me.
"I came. I know I've been resistant, but I wanted to give it a try," I said, smiling and holding out the flowers to her.
"…Do I know you?" she asked, same confused look plastered on her delicate face.
"I understand you must be upset that I ignored your advances, but it took me time. What matters is that I'm here now," I said, walking into her house. Her eyes were wide and she stared at me.
"Uh…I'm really going to have to ask you to leave." That's what she said with her voice. With her eyes, she was saying, I've waited for you for years. Will you leave me now or love me? Kiss me if you mean this.
And that's what I did. I grabbed her in my arms, and I kissed her. She immediately pushed me away.
"I don't know who you are, but you have the wrong idea." She was playing with me! The woman had grown so confident in herself by my being here, that she felt the right to play with me. I felt I'd given her a chance, and that's all I had to do. She wanted me, but she was being arrogant, thinking I crawled to her because of her allure and mind games. She was obsessed with me, and she thought this was cute. It wasn't. So I walked out the door.
Don't! Come back…I need you. I was only fooling, I heard her say as I walked down the front path of her house. She'd lost her chance.
Not very soon after I left, her male friend pulled into her driveway. He walked up the path, knocked on the door and she let him in. Her window was open, and I could see them talking in her living room. She looked frantic and kept pointing at my house. He kept looking towards me. My lights were off, and they couldn't see me. I didn't need to know what they were saying. She was telling him that in order to win me back, she needed to stop seeing him. And he needed to stop coming around. Would I give her another chance? I don't know at this point. I'd have to think about it.