Deviation

“I don’t want to be here,” I whined to Jared the moment we walked through the doors of the out of hand house party. The band playing in the backyard was loud and rowdy and the crowd of unfamiliar faces was making me uncomfortable already.

“You never want to go to these parties. But do I let you stay home and mope? No, never. Because I’m a good friend,” Jared replied with as he pulled me by the wrist towards the kitchen where there was, no doubt, counter tops filled with booze. “All you need is some lovely alcohol and you’ll be fine, like always.”

“Alcohol isn’t going to make me happy, Jared,” I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest the moment he let go. Grabbing a red cup and an open wine bottle, he poured me a generous amount as I went on, “Just because I get drunk doesn’t mean I end up having any fun.”

“That’s not what you’ll be saying in thirty minutes,” Jared muttered under his breath as he handed me the plastic cup with a smile. I rolled my eyes and took it, instantly bringing it to my lips and taking a long sip. “Are you happy now? Can I leave?”

“Fine, leave the sour party-pooper to fen for herself,” I sighed, feeling the least bit offended. The friendship I had with Jared and the other boys was very honest and I had gotten used to it over the years.

“That’s my girl,” Jared smiled. He ruffled my hair before rushing off to find Kennedy, who no doubt, probably already had a few girls lined up, fighting for a one night stand. I watched him fade into the crowd of party-goers before taking another sip of my drink and looking around from the safety of the kitchen.

I hated these parties. I never got along with the horny guys and the not so lady-like girls. The music usually gave me headaches. Hell, the only reasons I came were for the free, cheap wine and because Jared would drag my ass out of my apartment and into his car if I even tried to stay home.

“I knew I’d find you here,” A light, familiar said from behind. I turned around and my guess was confirmed. Standing before me was a beautiful, leggy brunette in a short, black floral dress and a pair of lacey black heels. Her hair was perfectly curled and her make up was flawless. There stood Jessica Anne Trotter, my best friend, in all her gorgeous glory.

“Am I that predictable?” I sighed as I leaned against the white countered island and brought the cup to my lips again. Jessica laughed a little and I could imagine her shining white teeth blinding me from under the florescent lights if my cup wasn’t hiding my face.

“Of course you are,” She confirmed truthfully with a playful smile. Turning her back to me, she walked over to the other counter and grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose and cranberry juice. I stuck my tongue out at her as she poured the liquids into a cup. “Oh, grow up, Karma.”

A pout formed on my lips. I really was that predictable – bummer. I snickered before asking, “Why were you so late? We were supposed to meet up at Jared’s so the guys could go over their game plan. I was the only girl who had to listen to Jared yell at Kennedy for stealing half the pussy at every party for the millionth time.”

“Rachael wasn’t there?”

“No, she’s visiting her cousin in Santa Barbra. Garrett was all, ‘What if she meets some hot, Californian dude there?’ And of course, I was left to comfort him, reminding him that after five years, it was highly unlikely that she would dump him for a sketchy one-night stand,” I explained. “So why were you running so late?”

“Well, I’m always late for everything as you know. But last minute, John called me and asked if I could drive him to the party because his car wouldn’t start up again. He even promised to be the DD tonight. Being the sweet, alcohol-adoring person I am, I agreed. When I arrived, though, he was all, ‘Wait a few minutes, Hannah isn’t finished getting ready yet.’ But come on, it’s Hannah. So of course, those last ‘finishing touches’ took a half an hour before we were finally able to leave,” Jessica shared before taking a long sip of her drink.

“How was that car ride?” It almost pained me to ask but my curiosity was a curse.

“Remind me to delete all Belle and Sebastian from my phone.” Jessica replied with dramatically, rolling her shining hazel eyes. “Piazza New York Catcher came on and apparently it’s their song. Totally weird, but the minute they heard, they both smiled - John in the front, Hannah in the back - and started singing it together. And I never noticed, but I have it twice on my iPhone; one from Dear Catastrophe Waitress and one from the Juno soundtrack. So then it started playing again. And they refused to let me change it, saying it was fate or something like that. I wanted to rip my ears off and feed them to Pat’s dog.”

“Brutal,” I mumbled, just as Hannah and John entered the kitchen, hand in hand. They were laughing amongst themselves, whispering sugary sweet words to one another, completely unaware of me and Jessica. Hannah brushed past me, her perfume over-taking my every sense, and grabbed two red cups as John headed to the counter to grab the alcohol.

“Oh, hello Karma,” Hannah said enthusiastically when she realized that the girl in the tight, black skinny jeans and over-sized red, boy flannel was me. I smiled back and forced a small hello her way. “You look adorable, as always. Drinking wine again, I assume?”

The truth was I didn’t have a legitimate reason to hate Hannah. She wasn’t the ‘other woman’ when John and I were together; no, the cause of the break-up was entirely my fault as John had accused me of. She wasn’t the jealous bitch girlfriend either. She was the complete opposite.

Hannah was the bubbly, innocent blonde girl that every boy dreamed of having at least a summer romance with. With her baby blue eyes, creamy porcelain skin, white as paper, straight teeth and extremely long, platinum white blonde hair, she was absolutely perfect. She had curves in all the right places and stood a good 5 feet 7 inches without her heels. But not only was she absolutely perfect on the outside, she didn’t have one bad bone in her body.

Hannah always made an effort to be everybody’s friend, no matter who they were. She claimed that whoever hadn’t done her wrong yet should be given a chance – sometimes even second chances. So it was only her instinct to try to befriend me the moment I met her. She complimented me every time we were forced to go to the same event, was the one to strike up awkward, forced small talk and even asked me to go out to lunch more than a few times. Every time, I would politely decline and claim my sister was in town; Hannah wouldn’t know any better.

I had absolutely no reason to dislike her, but that’s what made me despise her so much.

“You would assume correctly,” I choked out, my fake smile shining prim and proper on my face. Jessica stood beside me and stifled her laughter; she found my friendly act to be incredibly humorous. She always questioned how on earth Hannah could fall for it, I was a terrible actress.

“Wine’s the only thing that doesn’t give Karma a headache, no matter how much she downs the night before,” An all too familiar, deeper voice came from behind the island of the kitchen. I turned a little and met the green, gold-speckled eyes of John himself. He was bent over the white tiled island, his arms resting themselves on the counter top, “It’s the only alcoholic drink she ever consumes in mass quantities, even if it’s poor quality.”

“Except beer when she wants to get smashed,” Jessica piped up from beside me. I glanced at her, shooting her an annoyed look, then back at John. He merely stared back at me with his entrancing smirk. He was so close, I could see the little flaws that I had once grown so fond of; those faded freckles, the small scars and the small, rough stubble that never went away. I don’t know how long I stood there, awe-struck, before Hannah broke the silence.

“Well, I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” She said happily as she handed John a beer and brought her own mixed drink to her plump, pink lips. I gave her another weak smile before excusing myself and going into the almost deserted dining room. Jessica’s heels click-clacked against the hardwood floors behind me.

“You’re angry,” She accused as I sat myself down on one of the chairs.

“I’m not angry.”

“Okay, you’re flustered,” She said as she sat herself down beside me. When I didn’t respond and just brought the plastic cup to my lips, she sighed. “Karma, you two promised to stay friends. He’s allowed to talk to you.”

“I know that.”

“Then why are you acting this way?”

“What way?”

“Don’t play stupid,” She sneered, crossing one of her tan legs over the other. Her hazel eyes bored into me as I stared the ends of my worn out flannel. “You excused yourself from the booze room and dragged yourself into the most lifeless room of the entire house. That’s a major party foul.”

“I always make party fouls,” I argued, picking at the loose strands of the thinning material. Jessica didn’t disagree, just clicked her tongue and waited for me to go on. A long pause of tensioned silence passed between us before I caved, “Fine, I’m being bitter. But I don’t like the way he talks about me - like he knows me better than anyone else.”

“Hate to break it to you Kar, but he does know you better than anyone else,” Jessica sighed. I glanced up at her from behind my dark bangs to see her sympathetic expression. Her pity made me feel like a little girl in denial.

“No he doesn’t,” I whined. Jessica opened her mouth to, no doubt, protest, but I cut her off. “I changed after it ended. I’m not the same, care-free girl that I was when we were in love. He doesn’t know me anymore and he can’t act like he does.”

Jessica wrapped one of her lean, toned arms around me and rubbed my arm affectionately. I thought, for a moment, that she wasn’t going to say anything; that she was going to let it go and let me win. But instead, she whispered in my ear, “He’s John O’Callaghan, he’s your first love. He can do whatever he wants to you.”

The sad thing was Jessica didn’t know how absolutely right she was.