Great Expectations

"Lover, lover, tell me this: passion over consequence, when did the latter take the lead?" - Taking Back Sunday

As I walked across the courtyard on Monday morning, on my way to Physics, Charity stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Good morning, Juliet,” she said, her tone casual. “Good weekend?”

“Yes,” I said, taking a few steps off the path so people could get around us. “How was yours?”

“Fine,” she said, smiling. “I’m having a Halloween party on Saturday. Costumes are required.” I raised my eyebrows. “No, I’m not trying to make you look like an idiot by having you come in costume and everyone else dress normally. The party is on Halloween – how can you not wear a costume?”

“Okay,” I said. “I’m guessing Poppy isn’t invited.”

Charity shrugged. “She can come if she wants; I honestly don’t care. There’s gonna be so many people there, I probably won’t see her, anyways.”

“Alright,” I said. “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll be there.”

“Great.” She was still smiling brightly at me. I turned to go, but she spoke again, preventing me from taking more than a few steps. “Tell Dean I say hi.”

I turned around slowly, trying to figure out what she meant by that comment. “What?” I finally asked.

Charity’s smile twisted, becoming somewhat cruel. “Everyone has seen you talking to him. There’s obviously something going on there.” I ignored this comment, but she continued to speak. “What do Mommy and Daddy think?” I pressed my lips together. In my head, I was chanting a phrase my mother had taught me since I had first learned to speak: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

“I knew it,” she said. “Your parents have no idea what you’re doing.” She crossed her arms. “You know, our moms are in the same Pilates class. If I casually mentioned this to my mom, I’m sure your mom would find out in no time.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. “I’m not Poppy; you have no real reason to hate me.”

“Any friend of Poppy’s is no friend of mine,” she said. “And besides, I’m using it as a… bargaining tool.”

I sighed. It was typical of Charity to hold this over my head and use it to make me jump through hoops. I’d have to pay her to keep silent. “What do you want?”

“Simple,” she said with a shrug. “Hunter.”

My shoulders slumped. Hunter and I had been together since the seventh grade; he was the one boy a girl like Charity would want but couldn’t have. Hunter had never seemed interested in Charity. If they started dating, my parents would hear about it and wonder what had happened. Though it would be easier for my parents to accept the fact that Hunter and I had broken up than for them to accept the fact that I was dating Dean Montague.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

“Then I’ll see what I can do about keeping this from my mother,” Charity responded. “If she overhears me talking about it, it’s not really my fault.”

“I can’t force Hunter to like you,” I snapped, unable to contain my temper. I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “But I can try.”

Charity smiled again. “Good. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” She began to walk away, but she turned over her shoulder and added, “for now.”

I watched her walk away before taking a few steps back to sit on one of the benches that filled the courtyard. As students passed on their way to class, I chewed on my nails. A nervous habit, I thought I’d left it behind in grade school. I guess I just hadn’t been stressed enough, until now. The clunk of boots on pavement caused me to look up. Dean was walking towards me, grinning.

“Who are we kidding?” I stopped him with my words. “This is never going to work.” Confused, Dean stared at me, frowning. “Charity’s threatening to tell on us unless I set her up with Hunter. It’s only a matter of time before someone tells their parents, and they tell my parents, and then I’ll be dead.” I paused. “No, my parents wouldn’t kill me; they’ll send me to live with my cousins in Washington.” I couldn’t look at Dean, so I let my gaze fall to the ground instead.

“You know, your parents don’t know anything about me,” he said. “They know I wear a leather jacket and drive a motorcycle. They know I don’t care what other people think of me, and that’s why they don’t like me.”

I shook my head. “We can’t do this.” I couldn’t look up at Dean because I knew if I did, I would change my mind. I couldn’t let my parents know about this, but I couldn’t keep it a secret, either.

“You can’t do this,” he said. “You don’t have faith in this. Did you ever think if your parents knew a little more about me, they wouldn’t hate me so much?” I couldn’t say anything. I’d never even considered that possibility. “Go ahead. Set Charity up with Hunter. You can’t keep everyone quiet forever. But hey, if you stop talking to me in public, at least you’ll keep your reputation. I didn’t think it was that important to you, but I guess I was wrong.” I shut my eyes to keep tears from falling. “See you later, Juliet.”

He walked away, leaving me alone on the stone bench in the courtyard. Or, at least, I thought I was alone.

“You know,” Dean said, walking back towards me. “My parents are forcing me to go to this dumb party at some country club in November. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me, but I guess it would damage your reputation.” At first, I didn’t understand what he had said. As the words sank into my mind, I looked up, prepared to apologize profusely and beg for forgiveness. I was ready to tell him I had been stupid, that I would tell my parents everything and not care what they thought.

But Dean had already left, and I had no idea where he’d gone.