Status: Complete
I Don't Know How to Tell You but I Have to Somehow
:)
Seany's P.O.V
Only twenty minutes before the show was meant to start, twenty minutes before The Blackout were meant to go on and entertain the hoards of fans waiting for us, and I was on the other side of town, sitting by the muddy pond in the middle of the local park with Gavin. He was doing his best to get me back to the venue on time.
"It's just... I love that kid..." I said, trying to explain myself.
"Yeah, so? Who doesn't love Matthew?" replied Gavin, bemused.
"Oh no, you don't get it. I love him, like, really love him. Like, boy-girl love but... Well... Boy-boy love."
"Oh... Ummm. I didn't know you were into, you know, boy-boy love...?" I laughed a lot at that. He must be the only one ever not to have worked that out. I laughed for ages, and Gavin was looking at me so weirdly, and then, suddenly I was crying. Like, really crying. A macho man like me, crying his eyes out.
"Sean, Sean, it's okay, maybe it's just a crush, like when you fell in love with that girl from the video game for a week, or-"
"Gavin! M-Matthew is not Lara Croft! I-I-I... He..." I couldn't finish. Gavin put his arms around me. I pushed him away feebly, and then gave up.
"Look, Sean, I'm sorry, and I know you're upset right now, but we have to get to the show now."
"But I don't want to!"
"Did I ask what you wanted? Little twat... Let's go!" I smiled at that.
"Ohhh fine. Okay. Yeah. Ummm... Yeah. I can do this. Share a stage with Matthew... Ahhh fuck... Nope, I'm not thinking about Matthew. Good. Yeah." Gavin rolled his eyes. Little twat.
"Done?"
"Maybe."
Mattie's P.O.V
Where was he? I was worried sick. Sean was late, but he was never normally late. Something could have happened to him... What if something had happened to him? Ohhh, I bet he never worried about me like this. Ha, I wish. Wait, no I don't, poor Sean-
"MATTHEW!" I jumped out of my skin, put it back on again, and turned around. Of course, I knew who it was. That unmistakable voice... "Am I on time?"
"Just about, where have you been? I was wondering where you were, I was worried!"
"'Course you were," he said, ruffling my hair. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Yeah, alright, let's get on that stage already!" I skipped off to the side of the stage, where the fans were already yelling "WE ARE THE DYNAMITE!" at the top of their collective lungs. And indeed, they were.
We played an amazing show that night, if I do say so myself. Sean had everyone screaming away, as he always does. Something about the way that boy moves... Or maybe it's his hair... He had everyone enraptured, me included. Somehow, though, he seemed strange. He wouldn't come anywhere near me; if I crossed the stage to be with him he would practically leap over to the other side. I could understand why, but it hurt so badly. I wanted that boy so much, and he couldn't even stand to be close to me. But I swallowed my feelings and played as hard as I could, for the fans... For Sean.
* * *
The night of the last day of our tour I dreamt of Sean and me. We were holding hands. It felt so right, I nearly cried when I woke up. But I didn't, because I am macho. Plus we were in the tour bus and Sean, that sweet boy, would ask me what was wrong if he saw me crying.
Once I felt better I decided to wake him up, because even if I couldn't hold his hand I could definitely sit on the end of his bed, jump up and down a bit, yell in his ears, and when that didn't work, get into his bed and squeeze him until he woke up. He opened his eyes blearily and smacked me upside the head before shoving me out of his bed. Bitch.
Seany's P.O.V
Why did he tease me like that? I was sure he knew, he was doing it on purpose. Getting into my bed for God's sake. I hated him... but I loved him so much more. He was so, so beautiful. But I couldn't stand him being so close to me, and not being mine. I didn't know how to act, and even though I knew it would hurt his feelings, I had to get away from him.
"Matthew, uhh, I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?"
"Oh, okay, I'll come too." He smiled.
"Um, no you won't Matthew." I felt awful. But I felt a lot more awful when his bottom lip started to quiver.
"Sean... Please. Why don't you want to be near me? Wh-Why do you hate me?" When I saw him crying I nearly burst into tears myself. I just wanted to comfort him, but I couldn't, it would hurt too much. I gave him one last look - he had collapsed onto my bed now - and headed for the door. Once I was outside I started to run as fast as I could, I had no idea where. I had to get away.
Mattie's P.O.V
I cried for what felt like hours. All I could think about was Sean. Sean... I knew there was nothing I could do now. I was making plans to leave The Blackout. I couldn't take it anymore; if I couldn't be with Sean I couldn't be anywhere near him.
Eventually I heard the door click.
"Who... Is it?" I said with effort.
"It's Gavin. What's up?"
"I guess you might as well hear now. I'm leaving the band." His eyes widened.
"WHAT? Why, Matt?"
"Sean hates me. I don't want to see him every day anymore, and he definitely doesn't want to see me."
"Matthew, Sean does not hate you. I promise."
"No, he does. He avoids me all the time, he just ran away from me when I asked if I could go with him on his walk."
"I think I know why that is."
"You do?"
"Yeah. but I can't say."
"What? What the fuck? Gavin! I swear I will leave the band if you don't tell me. Please," I could feel tears forming in my eyes again. I blinked them away. "I have to know."
"Oh God, why do you have to do this to me? Look... Sean loves you."
"Shut up, just tell me why he won't come near me."
"I am, alright? You're not listening to me. He fucking loves you. He is in love with you! He wants you."
"Oh my God. Gavin, this isn't funny!" I shoved him out of the way and left the bus, but he was right behind me.
"I'm serious, why won't you believe me?"
"Why would I? Just leave me alone. I can't believe you'd do that to someone, you're not the person I thought you were. I don't know how you know how I feel about Sean, but if it's that fucking obvious you should know it's serious."
He looked angry with me, and I thought he'd say something, maybe even swing a punch, but he just turned on his heel and left me beside the bus. I was drained.
Seany's P.O.V
I ran until I couldn't run any more. When I stopped I was completely lost, so I sat in a coffee shop for a while sipping nasty tea.
I'd been there about an hour when my phone rang. I wasn't gonna answer, but I saw it was Gavin, and I remembered how much better he'd made me feel that day in the park.
"Yeah?" I mumbled.
"Sean you little shit, get back here!"
"Whaaaaaat?"
"Matthew is in tears, convinced you hate his guts."
"I don't care about Matthew."
"Shut up, we both know you're lying."
"I can't be near him."
"Get back here right now and plant a kiss on that kid's lips!"
"What are you on about??"
"Both of you are damn stupid. Now come back."
I couldn't help it; I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help going back.
And when I saw him, he looked so sad, and so adorable. I was gonna talk to him, but I knew it would do no good. Even though he probably hated me, I couldn't help but love him, and since I had absolutely nothing to lose I just threw caution to the winds. He had his head in his hands, so I slowly peeled them off, and when he tried to talk - I couldn't help it! - I kissed him like I'd always wanted to. Suddenly everything was right, but I was sure it would end any second, when he worked out what was going on.
Or was it? I couldn't believe it, but it seemed like he was kissing me back. I closed my eyes. I felt his hands around my neck... He was definitely kissing back. I didn't understand it at all, but I was blissfully happy, I didn't want the moment to end. It was like the world had stopped just for us.
Unfortunately, it had not.
As much as I wished the only people in the world were Matthew and I, some other little twats still managed to exist. Namely the dork chops I shared a band with.
And I had a feeling like we were being watched.
I opened my eyes just a tiny bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see Gavin and the guys, silently laughing. I should definitely have been mad at them, but, for some reason, it cracked me up. I couldn't help it, even though I was sure that my Mattie would be offended.
Luckily for me, when Matthew looked around and saw them he started giggling too. He was adorable! I clung on to him so tightly, all the time laughing. He was holding me so tightly it almost hurt, but I didn't care. I was happier than I had ever been. We laughed until we cried.... I think... I hardly remember anything now, in my mind it's just a blur of happiness.
When I finally stopped I put my mouth close to his ear and whispered so quietly only he would be able to hear, "I love you so much, Matthew Davies."
"Not as much as I love you, Sean Smith." He whispered back.
<333
Only twenty minutes before the show was meant to start, twenty minutes before The Blackout were meant to go on and entertain the hoards of fans waiting for us, and I was on the other side of town, sitting by the muddy pond in the middle of the local park with Gavin. He was doing his best to get me back to the venue on time.
"It's just... I love that kid..." I said, trying to explain myself.
"Yeah, so? Who doesn't love Matthew?" replied Gavin, bemused.
"Oh no, you don't get it. I love him, like, really love him. Like, boy-girl love but... Well... Boy-boy love."
"Oh... Ummm. I didn't know you were into, you know, boy-boy love...?" I laughed a lot at that. He must be the only one ever not to have worked that out. I laughed for ages, and Gavin was looking at me so weirdly, and then, suddenly I was crying. Like, really crying. A macho man like me, crying his eyes out.
"Sean, Sean, it's okay, maybe it's just a crush, like when you fell in love with that girl from the video game for a week, or-"
"Gavin! M-Matthew is not Lara Croft! I-I-I... He..." I couldn't finish. Gavin put his arms around me. I pushed him away feebly, and then gave up.
"Look, Sean, I'm sorry, and I know you're upset right now, but we have to get to the show now."
"But I don't want to!"
"Did I ask what you wanted? Little twat... Let's go!" I smiled at that.
"Ohhh fine. Okay. Yeah. Ummm... Yeah. I can do this. Share a stage with Matthew... Ahhh fuck... Nope, I'm not thinking about Matthew. Good. Yeah." Gavin rolled his eyes. Little twat.
"Done?"
"Maybe."
Mattie's P.O.V
Where was he? I was worried sick. Sean was late, but he was never normally late. Something could have happened to him... What if something had happened to him? Ohhh, I bet he never worried about me like this. Ha, I wish. Wait, no I don't, poor Sean-
"MATTHEW!" I jumped out of my skin, put it back on again, and turned around. Of course, I knew who it was. That unmistakable voice... "Am I on time?"
"Just about, where have you been? I was wondering where you were, I was worried!"
"'Course you were," he said, ruffling my hair. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Yeah, alright, let's get on that stage already!" I skipped off to the side of the stage, where the fans were already yelling "WE ARE THE DYNAMITE!" at the top of their collective lungs. And indeed, they were.
We played an amazing show that night, if I do say so myself. Sean had everyone screaming away, as he always does. Something about the way that boy moves... Or maybe it's his hair... He had everyone enraptured, me included. Somehow, though, he seemed strange. He wouldn't come anywhere near me; if I crossed the stage to be with him he would practically leap over to the other side. I could understand why, but it hurt so badly. I wanted that boy so much, and he couldn't even stand to be close to me. But I swallowed my feelings and played as hard as I could, for the fans... For Sean.
* * *
The night of the last day of our tour I dreamt of Sean and me. We were holding hands. It felt so right, I nearly cried when I woke up. But I didn't, because I am macho. Plus we were in the tour bus and Sean, that sweet boy, would ask me what was wrong if he saw me crying.
Once I felt better I decided to wake him up, because even if I couldn't hold his hand I could definitely sit on the end of his bed, jump up and down a bit, yell in his ears, and when that didn't work, get into his bed and squeeze him until he woke up. He opened his eyes blearily and smacked me upside the head before shoving me out of his bed. Bitch.
Seany's P.O.V
Why did he tease me like that? I was sure he knew, he was doing it on purpose. Getting into my bed for God's sake. I hated him... but I loved him so much more. He was so, so beautiful. But I couldn't stand him being so close to me, and not being mine. I didn't know how to act, and even though I knew it would hurt his feelings, I had to get away from him.
"Matthew, uhh, I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?"
"Oh, okay, I'll come too." He smiled.
"Um, no you won't Matthew." I felt awful. But I felt a lot more awful when his bottom lip started to quiver.
"Sean... Please. Why don't you want to be near me? Wh-Why do you hate me?" When I saw him crying I nearly burst into tears myself. I just wanted to comfort him, but I couldn't, it would hurt too much. I gave him one last look - he had collapsed onto my bed now - and headed for the door. Once I was outside I started to run as fast as I could, I had no idea where. I had to get away.
Mattie's P.O.V
I cried for what felt like hours. All I could think about was Sean. Sean... I knew there was nothing I could do now. I was making plans to leave The Blackout. I couldn't take it anymore; if I couldn't be with Sean I couldn't be anywhere near him.
Eventually I heard the door click.
"Who... Is it?" I said with effort.
"It's Gavin. What's up?"
"I guess you might as well hear now. I'm leaving the band." His eyes widened.
"WHAT? Why, Matt?"
"Sean hates me. I don't want to see him every day anymore, and he definitely doesn't want to see me."
"Matthew, Sean does not hate you. I promise."
"No, he does. He avoids me all the time, he just ran away from me when I asked if I could go with him on his walk."
"I think I know why that is."
"You do?"
"Yeah. but I can't say."
"What? What the fuck? Gavin! I swear I will leave the band if you don't tell me. Please," I could feel tears forming in my eyes again. I blinked them away. "I have to know."
"Oh God, why do you have to do this to me? Look... Sean loves you."
"Shut up, just tell me why he won't come near me."
"I am, alright? You're not listening to me. He fucking loves you. He is in love with you! He wants you."
"Oh my God. Gavin, this isn't funny!" I shoved him out of the way and left the bus, but he was right behind me.
"I'm serious, why won't you believe me?"
"Why would I? Just leave me alone. I can't believe you'd do that to someone, you're not the person I thought you were. I don't know how you know how I feel about Sean, but if it's that fucking obvious you should know it's serious."
He looked angry with me, and I thought he'd say something, maybe even swing a punch, but he just turned on his heel and left me beside the bus. I was drained.
Seany's P.O.V
I ran until I couldn't run any more. When I stopped I was completely lost, so I sat in a coffee shop for a while sipping nasty tea.
I'd been there about an hour when my phone rang. I wasn't gonna answer, but I saw it was Gavin, and I remembered how much better he'd made me feel that day in the park.
"Yeah?" I mumbled.
"Sean you little shit, get back here!"
"Whaaaaaat?"
"Matthew is in tears, convinced you hate his guts."
"I don't care about Matthew."
"Shut up, we both know you're lying."
"I can't be near him."
"Get back here right now and plant a kiss on that kid's lips!"
"What are you on about??"
"Both of you are damn stupid. Now come back."
I couldn't help it; I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help going back.
And when I saw him, he looked so sad, and so adorable. I was gonna talk to him, but I knew it would do no good. Even though he probably hated me, I couldn't help but love him, and since I had absolutely nothing to lose I just threw caution to the winds. He had his head in his hands, so I slowly peeled them off, and when he tried to talk - I couldn't help it! - I kissed him like I'd always wanted to. Suddenly everything was right, but I was sure it would end any second, when he worked out what was going on.
Or was it? I couldn't believe it, but it seemed like he was kissing me back. I closed my eyes. I felt his hands around my neck... He was definitely kissing back. I didn't understand it at all, but I was blissfully happy, I didn't want the moment to end. It was like the world had stopped just for us.
Unfortunately, it had not.
As much as I wished the only people in the world were Matthew and I, some other little twats still managed to exist. Namely the dork chops I shared a band with.
And I had a feeling like we were being watched.
I opened my eyes just a tiny bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see Gavin and the guys, silently laughing. I should definitely have been mad at them, but, for some reason, it cracked me up. I couldn't help it, even though I was sure that my Mattie would be offended.
Luckily for me, when Matthew looked around and saw them he started giggling too. He was adorable! I clung on to him so tightly, all the time laughing. He was holding me so tightly it almost hurt, but I didn't care. I was happier than I had ever been. We laughed until we cried.... I think... I hardly remember anything now, in my mind it's just a blur of happiness.
When I finally stopped I put my mouth close to his ear and whispered so quietly only he would be able to hear, "I love you so much, Matthew Davies."
"Not as much as I love you, Sean Smith." He whispered back.
<333
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Just a little one-shot I wrote a while ago.Feedback?