If I Let This Go

“You know you can’t do it, Megan,” Craig said solemnly, having allowed a few minutes of silence to settle in after I had told him what happened last night.

I sighed, staring out at all of the small houses that passed by. Little kids were running around in the yard, laughing when the sprinkler sprayed them with water. If only life could always stay that simple and carefree.

“But, what if he really can get out of jail?” I suggested, trying to add even the slightest bit of light to this dismal situation.

“You know that won’t really be as good as you’re thinking. Ronnie needs help – he has an addiction. That’s why he’s there, so he can get it fixed.”

“Even so…I can’t say no just yet,” I mumbled, getting out of the car first.

Usually at this time – 1 PM – all the boys in the house would just be waking up. That wasn’t the case today. Guns ‘N Roses’ song “Sweet Child ‘O Mine” was playing on maximum volume from the living room stereo as Robert ran around the room doing his Slash impression.

All of the windows were open, and a lot of the furniture was kind of stacked in one general area. Max fell out of the kitchen pantry after an avalanche of canned green beans fell down onto him. The song ended and allowed a moment of silence.

“Are you alright?” I asked with concern, crouching down to help him up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m just fine, Megan,” he replied, pushing some of the cans off of himself.

Suddenly, his head jerked up to look at me. “MEGAN?!” he shouted, leaping to his feet and giving me a strong hug. “We thought someone at the prison killed you,” he gasped.

“Not quite…it’s kind of a complicated story. But what’s going on here?” I asked, looking around the room.

He grinned, “Remember that nice house we bought the other day? The owners decided to move early, before Fall so we get to move in this week!”

I smiled, “Aw Max, that’s great.”

He nodded and led me over to the living room to turn down the music. I knew what was coming next. “So, where were you last night? Why didn’t you ever call us back?” he asked, a sudden serious mood descending upon us.

I swallowed the lump that had developed in the back of my throat as I shifted positions nervously. He wasn’t going to like what I was about to say. “Well…uh, Ronnie managed to convinced me to spend a night in his cell, err, room. We had a…nice time together. But before he left, he kind of dropped a bomb on me,” I said. He gave me a strange look.

“What kind of bomb?”

“He has this one friend…who happens to be a girl…that supposedly has a plan to help them escape. But, she needs a ‘fix’ to complete her plan,” I said, almost sounding slightly bitter.

Max started laughing hard, practically falling off the couch. “Of course you told him no, right?”

“I…well, I didn’t give him an answer yet,” I mumbled, staring at the carpet.

“Megan, listen to me. Ronnie has a problem. He’s made a shit ton of mistakes, and now he has to pay for them. You’ll be able to see him all the time, once he’s spent his time behind bars.”

I groaned, feeling a headache growing in intensity. “Max, I understand but you’ve gotta remember that he’s your friend. And just because he made a mistake doesn’t change that.”

Max’s stern expression disappeared for a moment as the thought entered his mind. Had we all forgotten that fact? Just because Ronnie’s in jail doesn’t mean he will never be with us again. For Pete’s sake, he’s not dead.

His blank, thoughtful expression quickly switched back to a stubborn pout. “Point being, I just don’t want you getting hurt any more by that scene. Ronnie’s involvement with those drugs really caused you pain, in more than one way.”

Max had a good point there, but it didn’t make this decision I had ahead of me any easier. I nodded and told him I was going to my room to finish packing. Apparently we were moving real soon.

*Ronnie’s POV*

The look on Megan’s face when she left wasn’t exactly reassuring. I would’ve liked to have explained a little more to her, but there were two problems with that scenario – 1. She ran away too fast and 2. Even I don’t know much about Andrea’s plan. I decided that the best thing I could do for my case was convince the guards to let Andrea come back to my room for thirty minutes.

Andrea arrived in all her glory, a noticeable grin on her face and her orange jumpsuit unbuttoned lower than usual. “You wanted to see me?” she asked, pushing her way inside and shutting the door behind her.

“Why don’t you take a seat,” I suggested, nodding toward my bed, “I have something to talk about.”

Her eyes widened, “Did you get her to agree?”

I sighed as I leaned at the wall and gave her a long, stern stare. “Not quite. She needs a little more convincing…and so do I.”

Her seductive smile dropped as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest in an agitated manner. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out, Ronnie,” she sneered.

“Then why do you keep waiting to fill me in?” I smirked.

She paused for quite some time before finally speaking again. “All you have to do is get me the drugs, and then everything will play out from there…”

“Wait, are you going to use your high for an inspiration or something? Andrea, that’s just stupid.”

She gathered an offensive look on her face. “I don’t think so. I made a deal with one of the guards on Level 2. He told me that if I get him a fix then he would leave the back door open while he took out the garbage or some shit like that.”

Now I was the one who crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes holding doubt. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to trust the guards in this place?”

She grinned deviously. “I recorded the conversation on my iTouch. If he doesn’t comply, then I’ll simply hand the audio over to the police.”

“You’re so manipulative,” I laughed.

She scoffed, “Please, Ronnie, you’re the king of manipulation.”

She stood up and walked over to me, leaning up against me so that my back was completely up against the wall. She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around my neck. Seduction was her middle name.

*Normal POV*

After spending an hour or so packing up, I let my body fall down onto the bed, which was just about the last thing left in this room. The closet was emptied, the carpet was visible for once, the desk was gone, and the nightstand was empty.

I stared at the small wooden nightstand next to my head and remembered that day when I submitted Escape the Fate’s demo to the radio contest. It’s kind of funny…the band became well known pretty quickly, but now I don’t think any of us know whether or not the band is in existence anymore. Time is a cruel concept.

I decided to retire early tonight, not really in much of a social mood. I took a quick shower, feeling almost anxious to get the feeling of Ronnie off of me. Last night was a huge mistake. I wonder how many times I’m going to fall for his tricks…before it becomes too late? More importantly, what am I going to do about this drug deal?

The sad thing was, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted him out of jail or not. Max and Craig are right – Ronnie still needs help. If he gets out early, then he may still be addicted. I can’t handle any more of those kinds of situations.

I fell asleep around 8ish, not even caring that the night was so young. The only problem was that I woke up suddenly just before midnight. My mind was made up. I reached for my cell phone and scrolled down to the “R’s” in my contacts list.

*Ronnie’s POV*

Thirty minutes turned into hours on end. Clothes were scattered across the tiled floor and our bodies were sticking together from all the sweat. Her lips met mine in a lusty passion. I don’t think it’s good thing that cheating can turn me on so much. Oh well, what Megan doesn’t know can’t possibly hurt her. I rolled my tongue along the inside of her lower lip as I held her head in my hand. By now we were both naked and tangled in the white sheets, nowhere near planning on stopping – well, until I was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. Andrea pouted as I crawled off the bed and grabbed my cell phone.

“Hello,” I answered with a smile noticeably in my voice. I hadn’t even bothered looking at the caller ID.

“Ronnie, I need to talk to you,” Megan spoke quietly into the phone.

My smile faltered. “What about? You do realize it’s midnight, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Look, I…I guess I’ll help you with what you said earlier. But listen to me, Ronnie, I swear if you fuck up even once – I’m leaving you.”

I wasn’t sure whether I should smile with relief or acknowledge the acidic pit of guilt that was eating away at my insides. “W-wow, really baby? That’s great. I promise you – you’ll see I’m a better person.”

Andrea pulled me back over to the bed and began running her fingertips lightly along my newly formed erection. I swallowed hard and felt the guilt evaporate. That’s a feeling that never lasts long for me.

“Alright, here’s what you need to do…”