The Harsh Truth

I was at the library clicking on site after site. I rubbed at my temples as my eyes watered from staring at the screen for so long. I don’t know why I kept thinking about this, but I did.

I’ve always seen myself getting married one day. I always thought I’d settle down with someone and be the selfish ass that I am and be able to say that they are mine by putting a ring on their finger. I always thought about having kids and being able to take them to school, buy them presents, and…hell even yell at them!

I’m a family guy I can’t help it.

Sky though…he doesn’t seem to like the idea at all.

Does he not want to marry because he thinks it’s wrong because we’re gay or because I’m not good enough for him? I feel like a girl thinking about all this shit!

I got aggravated about an hour into it and decided just to go home, screw Sky into the nearest object, and then cuddle with him for the rest of the night.

~

I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I walked into the apartment. Groaning I kicked off my shoes and glanced towards the couch to see Sky sitting there and staring up at me with a smile.

“Hey,” he greets as I begin to walk over to him.

I jump next to him and lie down before resting my head on his thigh. I yawned for the second time in a row and cuddled into his warmth.

“Tired?” Sky asks as he begins to aimlessly play with my hair.

“Mhm,” I answer with a nod.

“You’re late.”

“I was at the library.”

“Doing what?” Sky asks curiously as he finger combs my hair, which smells good today I might add. Just thought I’d tell you all that.

I shrug before answering, “School stuff.”

I could almost feel Sky rolling his eyes. A few minutes of silence passed before I worked up enough courage to ask.

“If you were to get married, is there anything you’d like on a promise ring?”

Sky started to choke. On what, I’m not so sure.

Lazily I push myself to sit up and look at him. I rubbed his back to make sure he was ok and once his face turned normal color again and he was breathing properly I began to massage his neck.

Sky’s tense muscles began to relax as he asked, “A promise ring?”

I nodded.

“What’s with you and asking all these questions lately? Who are you hanging out with?” Sky asks slightly curious and slightly…annoyed?

I didn’t mean to annoy him.

I frowned before answering, “Just asking.”

“Marriage isn’t exactly my thing,” Sky sighs as he leans into my touch.

I don’t think he meant it, but everything he said that I felt this slight pain in my chest. It felt like he was saying I wasn’t good enough to stay committed to. I know he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt.

Sighing, I tried to push it away and focus on Sky who was currently allowing my fingers to dig into the knots of his back.

~

That night I lay next to Sky. He was currently cuddled into my chest with one leg over my hip and his arms wrapped tightly around me. I was rubbing aimless circles into his back with my thumb while resting my head atop his.

I could feel his warm breath hitting my chest and the occasional brush of his lips and as we lay there I couldn’t help but feel that this was just right. Everything about it just felt right to me and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to keep it all. I wanted to keep Sky for myself.

Call me selfish, but it just felt right to me.

I looked down at Sky when he stirred and tried to move closer to me. I rolled my eyes; he cuddles too much, before kissing his forehead.

As my eyes began to flutter shut I remembered the sites I went onto that afternoon. It all felt so right to me and I hope it felt right to Sky because I have an idea in mind…