The Harsh Truth

I felt this indescribable pain in my chest. It felt like something was inside me clawing, ripping away at my heart, and shredding it until there was nothing left.

The door slammed, forcing me to wince.

“I’m done, Averi. We’re over.”

I don’t know how many times it echoed in my head. All I know is that it did it enough to force my legs to give out. I slipped onto the floor, my eyes staring at the tiles but not seeing them. All I could imagine was how pissed off Sky looked when he left.

Was I…really bugging him that bad? I didn’t think…I didn’t know that he…I guess after a while it would get annoying, but every question was different and is it so bad for me to want to marry him? Is it that bad for me to want something? And isn’t marriage supposed to be a good thing?

I love him. I love Sky so…what’s so wrong about me wanting to marry him? He loves me too right,or should I say loved? so what’s so wrong about that?

I felt myself whimpered and I suddenly blinked. When I returned from whatever land I went to I realized that I wasn’t just shivering, but I was crying.

That pain in my chest became worse as I realized that Sky wasn’t even here anymore. He had actually gone to Alex’s house, Alex the boy he hasn’t talked to since what happened to him. He had actually went far enough and wanted to get away from me that bad that he called Alex.

It hurt me more then anything to know that he wanted me away from him that badly.

I pressed my palm against my eyes in hope to stop the flow of tears, but it didn’t help. Nothing helped.

I tried calling him, but he wouldn’t answer. I left message after message, but he never answered. I stayed up until six in the morning the next day, but I didn’t get a single call, a single message from him.

I felt like someone had just pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the back. I felt like…I felt like shit.

My alarm suddenly went off. I jumped and toppled off the side of the bed. I hadn’t realized that it was time for school until now. Quickly, I slammed my hand over the alarm clock quieting it in seconds.

My body felt numb. It felt dead, limp, like I had no energy left, no life. My eyes scannedour my room to realize that Sky had left the drawers open. They hung; empty of his clothing and again my heart twisted in ways that I knew it wasn’t healthy.

Suddenly, I didn’t care about school. I didn’t care about eating although my stomach was growling angrily. I didn’t care about school or work. I didn’t care about anything, because Sky wasn’t around so why should I care?

Why should I care when there’s nothing here?

Exactly, I shouldn’t.

~

My stomach was screaming at me. It has been for the past week. My body was becoming stiff from lying in this bed for so long. My eyes were beginning to feel sour from my immense amount of crying and my voice became hoarse from lack of use.

I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to eat or sleep. I didn’t want anything. I couldn’t do anything. I just felt like shit, like I couldn’t do anything.

I lied in this bed, flipping the silver ring between my fingers the one that I bought over ten days ago. It shined in the light and most people would probably find it beautiful, but to me it was a horrible reminder of what I wasn’t going to get.

I stared at it as it shined brightly from the sun that poured in through the blinds. My brow furrowed as I glared at it. Growling, I clenched the ring in my hand and threw it across the room.

It hit the opposite wall before falling to the ground. I screamed profanity into my pillow before going silent again.

My eyelids felt so heavy, but sleep rarely came to me anymore. I kept thinking, what if Sky calls if I’m asleep I’ll miss it or what if Sky comes over if I’m asleep I’ll miss him…so I forced myself to stay awake.

Suddenly the phone rang and rang and it rang some more. It took me a while, but I finally mustered up the energy to answer it.

“Hello?” I asked, my voice coming out husky and hoarse like I haven’t used it, because I haven’t. I haven’t spoken for the last three days.

“Hey Averi, I heard you quit and dropped out of school. What’s up with that?” Ashton’s concerned voice asks.

I sighed before answering, “Nothing…listen I’m tired…I’m just going to go…”

“Are you ok Averi? You sound…down.”

“Fine,” I answer. “Fine.”

“You don’t sound like it. I’m coming over.”

Before I could protest Ashton hung up. The dial tone was heard and I knew that in a matter of minutes Ashton would be over here pounding the door and demanding an explanation. I didn’t really care enough to stop him so I just laid lazily inour my bed and waited…

When I heard the knocking on my door I didn’t bother to get up. Instead I shouted a ‘come in’ and listened as Ashton walked to the room.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Ashton asks as he walks over to me.

I was buried under the covers, my face shoved into the pillows causing my voice to come out muffled when I answered, “Nothing.”

“Where’s Sky?”

There was that pain again only this time it was worse. It has been a week since I’ve talked or even seen him. I tried going up to Alex’s place, but he didn’t even answer. I called and left messages on his and Alex’s phone countless times, but I never got a call back.

“He’s…out,” I lied, but Ashton didn’t buy it.

“Don’t shit around with me, Ave! You better tell me what’s up. You sound like shit.”

I groaned when Ashton started to tug on the blankets. I felt weak, my arms felt useless and he easily got the blanket off me. It slipped to the ground and I shivered.

“Averi, have you been eating or sleeping? Man, you look like shit!” Ashton jumps next to me. He looked into my eyes which I’m positive were shot from lack of sleep and the amount of tears I’ve been shedding lately.

“What happened Ave?” Ashton asks, but I didn’t answer.

Instead I turned onto my side, facing away from him, and buried my head back into the pillows. I didn’t feel like talking or doing anything that matter. All I wanted to do was lie here in our bed, the bed that Sky and I shared.