The Harsh Truth

One week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, maybe even longer: I didn’t care any more. All I knew was that I was lying in someone else’s bed, again, naked. I don’t even remember how long I’ve spent in his house. He didn’t mind. I think he enjoyed having me over: Whether it was for the sex, or for having someone else to do drugs with.

I groaned as Ivan pulled me closer to him. I sighed, “Get up.”

“Something wrong?” He sat up.

His fingers traced the ink in my skin on my lower back. It was something I didn’t even realize I had, until just the other day. I don’t remember getting it, let alone when I even wanted any tattoo like that. It wasn’t any names, or phrases: Instead, a fire-breathing dragon.

I guess that’s what I did when I was high: Have sex and get tattoos and piercings. ‘Cause his fingers left my back, and he softly touched my lips, pressing against the small silver studs.

I must look sickly. Since I can’t even remember the last time I wanted to even eat normal food. I had just been over-whelmed by the fact that here, with Ivan, I could do as many drugs as I would please without having too many bad consequences. If I look in the mirror now, I might not know who’s reflection is really staring back: It won’t be me; Innocent Skyler. But instead there would be a horribly pale reflection of a man with bags under his bloodshot eyes, and swollen, bloody lips from piercings he never knew he had gotten until he woke the next morning. I wasn’t even completely sure what the tattoo looked like. I just had to trust Ivan.

“Where’s the crack cocaine?“

Ivan laughed, as he watched my pull on my boxers and start searching for the drugs my body craved. “Sky, It’s in the car. I’ll go get it.”

The way my name rolled off his tongue… I shivered. His voice… it was just so… seductive/ I felt like I needed to hear him say my name again.

“I’ll go with you.”

Again, he laughed, “If you want, Skyler. It isn’t going to take very long: Maybe two, three, minutes.”

“I’ll go with you.” I bit my lip.

He nodded, “Alright. But I don’t want you pulling on extra clothing. Just leave your shirt and skinnies on the floor, Hun. People won’t shoot you because you’re fit.”

Fit. I snorted.

It suddenly hit me. It hasn’t been a few weeks. It’s been at least two months. I only realized that once I walked outside. My nipples stuck out due to the freezing weather. Ivan laughed and played with them, as he pulled my body into his. It was turning me on, and (let’s just say) I wasn’t the only one getting excited, here.

I felt his package rubbing against the back of my leg, as we walked. I softly moaned, as he let his hip grind against my own. I grabbed his hand, and he grinned.

“I’m so horny, it hurts.” He moaned in my ear, “And the cold isn’t helping…”

“Grab the crack, Ivey, and I’ll help you out.”

It didn’t take long, before he was holding up the ground up crystals.
“Hurry up and smoke it. I can’t wait any longer.”

--

He was almost purring. His voice was just so relaxed, so calm. It almost made everything he said less threatening. Almost.

“Some guy came by looking for you.”

I sat up, “What was his name?”

He smiled softly: More because of my looks rather than my question.

He softly touched my aching bottom lip, “I can’t wait for these to heal. I want to kiss them you so badly.”

I rolled my eyes, “What was his name?”

“Well, there were two. Taylor and Adam, I think.”

I thought. “Tayden and Alex?”

“Yeah,” He held my hand, “That sounds more like it.”

I nodded, “What did they want?”

Ivan bit his lip, “To talk, I believe.”

Ivan leaned over, leaning his head on my shoulder. He kissed it softly, before snaking his arms around my waist. He pulled me into him.

“Mmm…” His breath hit my neck, “I really like being around you, Sky.”

I felt a sudden sickness in my stomach, as the thoughts of Averi came into my mind. I felt horrible about avoiding him, even ignoring him. I felt even worse remembering what I had done: I had thrown him out like trash. And he is nothing like trash, I am. I wished he were feeling much better without me by his side. He should.

I pushed Ivan away from me, and I told him how I was feeling (minus the ex-boyfriend part).

“It’s not because of all the drugs, do you think? I would hate it if the drugs are hurting you.”

I shook my head, “No. I just feel really bad. Do you think that we could use stronger drugs?”

“Heroin, Babe?” He asked, “Needles or…?”

I bit my lip just thinking about it. I knew it was wrong. I was reminded each time Ivan gave me a pet name. But there isn’t a way to go back to Averi now. I really fucked up, and if I even try to go back to him, he will never forgive me for whoring around like this.

“Needles,” I confirmed.