I Thought I Loved You

Rachel means so much to me. I’m glad I’ll be able to spend a couple weeks of summer vacation with her. Sure she’s my first girl friend but I think she’s so much more than that. Maybe I was thinking about it too much but I felt like she’s the one I’ll spend the rest of my life with.

“Neville, I love you.” Rachel said smiling.

“I love you too Rach, you don’t know how much it means to hear you say that.” I hugged her.

“Just thought I’d remind you.” She responded, still smiling.

“These eight months have been the best months of my life.”

“I know, you keep telling me that.” She teased.

“We should do something tonight,” I suggested.

“Like what?” she questioned.

“Want to go for a walk on the beach?” I asked.

“Sure,” she shrugged.

I never was the best at picking places to go. She usually did that, but she hasn’t been asking to go anywhere lately. Ever since summer started she’s seemed more distant than usual. I wanted to change that so I tried getting more one-on-one time.

We got to the beach just in time to watch the sunset. It was so peaceful and beautiful it reminded me of Rachel. I looked at her and her eyes twinkled in the dull sunlight. She noticed me staring at her and her cheeks turned slightly pink.

She moved closer to me, her lips only inches from mine. This was what I was eager to get back. Her lips were rather soft, she kissed with such passion it’s like this was what she was meant to do. Not long after we started kissing she tightened her arms around my neck, playing with my hair.

She gently started to climb on top of me. We were now lying down on the sandy beach. She stopped kissing me and stared at me in the eyes for a moment then her hand started making its way under my shirt. Feeling my whole chest which was pleasurable to my liking. Then I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the other side of us.

This is wrong. I thought to myself. I knew what was about to happen. This was the closest I’ve felt to her in weeks. I felt like I should do this because apart of me felt I’d lose her if I didn’t. I knew I was only sixteen but I thought I loved her.

She leaned down and continued to kiss me. As much as I knew this was wrong it just felt so right. My hands were searching her whole body. I slid her shirt over her head and placed it next to mine. She took her pants off and started at mine. I helped her get them off as she kissed me more.

Thoughts kept running through my head. I was shaking nervously, “This is what you want?” I whispered.

Rachel didn’t say a word, she simply nodded in response. The kissing became far more aggressive and passionate than it ever had been. I wanted her and only her. I slid into her deeper and deeper each time. She moaned in pleasure, I just lost it.

I can still remember that night, every detail as clear as it happened. Our summer together had ended about a week ago. She promised she’d send an owl to keep in touch but I haven’t heard from her in more than a week. So I decided I write to her first.

“Hey Rachel, it’s been about a week since I’ve heard from you. Is everything alright? I miss you so much love. I’ll never forget this summer. How are things going at home? Write back,
Love Neville”

I sent an owl and waited for it to return carrying Rachel’s reply. I must have waited an hour before my owl returned. It wasn’t my owl who returned to me it was a different owl holding a letter from Harry.

“Hi Neville, hope your doing well. There’s something that Dean told Ginny last week that you should know about. I know how much you care about Rachel but, she’s cheating on you. Dean told Ginny he hung out with Rachel last week and stuff happened. He feels really bad about it all but he says she came onto him first. I know this will be hard on you but I’m your friend and you have a right to know.
See you at Hogwarts,
Harry”

My heart was racing and tears were coming down my face. I knew I shouldn’t have done that with her. I wasn’t ready and she wasn’t true to me. How could I be so foolish, I’m not old enough to understand the meaning of love. But at the same time I could feel my heart ripping in my chest. How could she do this to me?

My owl returned with a letter from Rachel. I didn’t feel like reading it, it was probably filled with lies. But I took it from my owl’s beak anyways.

“Hello Neville, sorry I didn’t send an owl. I was sort of busy this week. Everything is fine and things are okay at home. I miss you too.
Love,
Rachel.”

I threw the letter to the ground. How could she say she loved me after what she’s done? This is all a game to her I’m sure. It figures the first girl friend I have has to cheat on me. I grabbed a piece of parchment and decided to end it since she was clearly trying to see what else she could get out of me.

“I can’t believe you, how could you do this to me? I thought I loved you, but I guess I should have known I wasn’t old enough. I heard about you’re time with Dean last week, no point in trying to deny it now. It breaks my heart, I just wanted to be in love and I thought you were the one. Since you’re not going to end this I might as well so you can’t get anything more out of me. I hope you’ll never forget this, you’re a heartless bitch.”

I was broken and I had nothing to look forward to for the rest of summer. Hopefully I’d be able to get over her this summer but I’m not sure if what she did is forgettable. I’ll never forgive her for this. I just can’t believe it, I thought I loved her.