Is It True?
Ein
I never believed that love would find me, that there would be someone out there who believed that I was the one for them. But here I was, staring at the TV screen, remote in my hand pressing rewind, play, rewind, play over and over as I listened to him announce the words that I never knew I wanted to hear so badly until now.
“I’m in love with Frank Iero,” he spoke to the camera, announcing it for the whole world to know before I even did myself. I rewound the TV again, “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,”.
On my face was a look of pure shock, the only movement my body had was my thumb switching from the ‘<<’ button on the remote to the ‘>’ button, listening to him announce those words over and over, my heart swelling with emotion.
He had never once uttered any indication that this was how he felt about me; sure, we had kissed on stage and offstage a couple of time, but only as friends. Or so I had thought, until now. How was I supposed to have known that he felt more for me than he felt for anyone else? He had had boyfriends, and he had had a couple of girlfriends, too. I never thought that I would be the one he would announce his love for on television. Gerard Way, the man who could get anyone he wanted, who had girls and boys screaming for him to love them left, right and center, loved me. Me, of all people, he loved me! I was overjoyed; I didn’t know how to react. Should I go over to his house? Tell him I watched the interview? Or should I wait until I next saw him? What would I actually do when I did see him; should I kiss him? Should I tell him how I feel in return?
How did I feel? Did I love him back, or was this feeling I was feeling only because I felt like no one was ever going to love me so now that I found someone who did I felt I needed to love them back? Was I just happy?
I didn’t know what to do.
My finger pressed the pause button and I stared long and hard at his face on the television screen. His face was paused mid-sentence, the corner of his mouth open in speech. He spoke out of the corner of his mouth, and I just realised how cute it actually was that he did that. I felt my heart swell at the thought of him talking to me, the corner of his mouth twitching in sentences, smiling at me, loving me. I smiled slightly, my eyes turning up in happiness as I continued to stare at his face. His hair was over his eyes, hiding them slightly from the world, but I knew exactly what they looked like. Their entrancing hazel pools, flecks of green and gold glittered in them, sparkling when he was happy and excited; the way they always looked when he was talking to me.
How could I have not seen it? The signs are all so clear now. The way his sentences rushed when he talked to me, how our hugs always lasted that bit longer than his hugs with anyone else, how he breathed deeply around me, always stared at me with a smile on his face, how he would talk to me more than he would talk to the other guys.
And I realised, I did love him.
“I’m in love with Frank Iero,” he spoke to the camera, announcing it for the whole world to know before I even did myself. I rewound the TV again, “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,” “I’m in love with Frank Iero,”.
On my face was a look of pure shock, the only movement my body had was my thumb switching from the ‘<<’ button on the remote to the ‘>’ button, listening to him announce those words over and over, my heart swelling with emotion.
He had never once uttered any indication that this was how he felt about me; sure, we had kissed on stage and offstage a couple of time, but only as friends. Or so I had thought, until now. How was I supposed to have known that he felt more for me than he felt for anyone else? He had had boyfriends, and he had had a couple of girlfriends, too. I never thought that I would be the one he would announce his love for on television. Gerard Way, the man who could get anyone he wanted, who had girls and boys screaming for him to love them left, right and center, loved me. Me, of all people, he loved me! I was overjoyed; I didn’t know how to react. Should I go over to his house? Tell him I watched the interview? Or should I wait until I next saw him? What would I actually do when I did see him; should I kiss him? Should I tell him how I feel in return?
How did I feel? Did I love him back, or was this feeling I was feeling only because I felt like no one was ever going to love me so now that I found someone who did I felt I needed to love them back? Was I just happy?
I didn’t know what to do.
My finger pressed the pause button and I stared long and hard at his face on the television screen. His face was paused mid-sentence, the corner of his mouth open in speech. He spoke out of the corner of his mouth, and I just realised how cute it actually was that he did that. I felt my heart swell at the thought of him talking to me, the corner of his mouth twitching in sentences, smiling at me, loving me. I smiled slightly, my eyes turning up in happiness as I continued to stare at his face. His hair was over his eyes, hiding them slightly from the world, but I knew exactly what they looked like. Their entrancing hazel pools, flecks of green and gold glittered in them, sparkling when he was happy and excited; the way they always looked when he was talking to me.
How could I have not seen it? The signs are all so clear now. The way his sentences rushed when he talked to me, how our hugs always lasted that bit longer than his hugs with anyone else, how he breathed deeply around me, always stared at me with a smile on his face, how he would talk to me more than he would talk to the other guys.
And I realised, I did love him.