Status: Re write :) please comment
The Diary of Bree
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
I am writing in you for the first time with no real motivation to do so. My therapist told me that I should write my feelings down so they do not build up inside me. So here I am trying to write in the stupid book hoping that its actually not going to be a waste of my time.
Here’s to hoping
If I had to put a word to the feelings I’m feeling right now it would have to be FRUSTRATED.
Why am I frustrated? Well it could be the fact that my parents are making me see a therapist because they feel I’m depressed, or it could be the fact that my parents yelled at me for the umpteenth time about how I’m not the daughter they always wanted. Or it could even be the fact that they barely give me the time of day unless I start screaming at them.
My parents started out like any other. I was a little princess until I learned how to dress myself, and chose skinny jeans and converse over skirts and high heels, it was pretty much after I turned 15 did my parents stop acknowledging my existence unless I did something they didn’t like or if they had to put any effort into being my parents at all. I would say it was then when I started to act out by getting in trouble at school, and experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
At this point I have been arrested more times than I can count, but daddy’s money always buys me out of jail time. Once a princess always a princess I guess.
The only light in my life is my best friend Ricky. He is the one who is always there when I need to vent my anger, or there when I need a shoulder to cry on, he was just there. He knew how my parents treated me and knows almost everything about me.
Almost
I had a secret that no one but me knew about and I plan to keep it that way.
But since this is my diary, and no one will ever see this I guess I can write it down.
I cut myself, now here is where you insert the stereotypical emo girl label that goes along with my actions, but as most labels are you would be wrong. I took pride in my appearance. I wore tasteful clothing, not anything too girly but nothing close to what I would call emo. I don’t even know why I do it anymore, at first it was a way for me to calm my anxiety after an argument with my parents, but now I mainly do it when I get overly stressed. I know I shouldn’t keep this from Ricky, but I know how devastated he would be if he knew I harmed myself as a form of release. He had a great family, his parents loved and supported him, and his brother always looked out for him. I didn’t want this to ruin our friendship.
I have come to the conclusion that my parents will never care about me, and that Ricky is the only one that I can count on to be there for me. I want to tell him my secret, but I can’t.
On to something a little less depressing…….
I feel like I just want to get away from everything. The best way for me to do this is through music. Music was my escape, from everything even the cutting. I listen to almost everything from heavy metal to rap, even opera. The type depended on my mood but my all time favorite was hands down Avenged Sevenfold.
I have always wanted to go see them in concert, but I knew my parents would never let me go, nor did I have the money for a ticket, never mind a meet and greet pass. I have been trying to find a job, but not many people want a 17 year old girl with no skills other than writing music. I want to work so that I can afford a ticket to an Avenged Sevenfold concert for my 18th birthday that was in about 5 months.
That was all I had to look forward to.
I am writing in you for the first time with no real motivation to do so. My therapist told me that I should write my feelings down so they do not build up inside me. So here I am trying to write in the stupid book hoping that its actually not going to be a waste of my time.
Here’s to hoping
If I had to put a word to the feelings I’m feeling right now it would have to be FRUSTRATED.
Why am I frustrated? Well it could be the fact that my parents are making me see a therapist because they feel I’m depressed, or it could be the fact that my parents yelled at me for the umpteenth time about how I’m not the daughter they always wanted. Or it could even be the fact that they barely give me the time of day unless I start screaming at them.
My parents started out like any other. I was a little princess until I learned how to dress myself, and chose skinny jeans and converse over skirts and high heels, it was pretty much after I turned 15 did my parents stop acknowledging my existence unless I did something they didn’t like or if they had to put any effort into being my parents at all. I would say it was then when I started to act out by getting in trouble at school, and experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
At this point I have been arrested more times than I can count, but daddy’s money always buys me out of jail time. Once a princess always a princess I guess.
The only light in my life is my best friend Ricky. He is the one who is always there when I need to vent my anger, or there when I need a shoulder to cry on, he was just there. He knew how my parents treated me and knows almost everything about me.
Almost
I had a secret that no one but me knew about and I plan to keep it that way.
But since this is my diary, and no one will ever see this I guess I can write it down.
I cut myself, now here is where you insert the stereotypical emo girl label that goes along with my actions, but as most labels are you would be wrong. I took pride in my appearance. I wore tasteful clothing, not anything too girly but nothing close to what I would call emo. I don’t even know why I do it anymore, at first it was a way for me to calm my anxiety after an argument with my parents, but now I mainly do it when I get overly stressed. I know I shouldn’t keep this from Ricky, but I know how devastated he would be if he knew I harmed myself as a form of release. He had a great family, his parents loved and supported him, and his brother always looked out for him. I didn’t want this to ruin our friendship.
I have come to the conclusion that my parents will never care about me, and that Ricky is the only one that I can count on to be there for me. I want to tell him my secret, but I can’t.
On to something a little less depressing…….
I feel like I just want to get away from everything. The best way for me to do this is through music. Music was my escape, from everything even the cutting. I listen to almost everything from heavy metal to rap, even opera. The type depended on my mood but my all time favorite was hands down Avenged Sevenfold.
I have always wanted to go see them in concert, but I knew my parents would never let me go, nor did I have the money for a ticket, never mind a meet and greet pass. I have been trying to find a job, but not many people want a 17 year old girl with no skills other than writing music. I want to work so that I can afford a ticket to an Avenged Sevenfold concert for my 18th birthday that was in about 5 months.
That was all I had to look forward to.
♠ ♠ ♠
OK Everyone here is my first re-write chapter. Please let me know what you think...Special thanks to @ Gronk who gave me the idea to write in diary form
P.S not all chapters will be in diary format since I want to have things happen in the present to and I will make sure I label them accordingly so you know what is past tense in the diary and what is happening in the present.