She's Gonna Break Soon

“Riley get up,” a familiar male voice called through the room.

Groaning, Riley buried her face deeper into her plush pillow trying to fend off the impending headache.

“Riley,” he said sternly.

Riley mumbled a quiet “Fuck you” before difficultly lifting her arms and hands to cover her ears from the thunderous voice.

“Riley I swear to God if you don’t get up and meet me downstairs for coffee within the next fifteen minutes,” he started.

Riley groaned once more before slowly lifting her head from the pillow and glaring at the dark haired male standing in her doorway, arms folded. His expression was a mixture between amusement, disappointment, and victory.

“I hate you so much, James,” she emphasized the first name he grimaced at before lifting her upper body to an upright position.

“Fourteen minutes,” he said tapping a nonexistent watch before stepping out and closing the door.

She bowed her head before muffling a scream into her pillow. She rolled out of the bed, her feet padding across the hardwood to the small adjoining bathroom. She grimaced at the smeared makeup and haphazard strands of hair sticking up from her head.

Firmly gripping the martini glass in her hand, Riley Flyzik weaved through the dark room to the bar motioning to the barman to pass her another. He slid the glass towards her before turning to a couple down at the other end.

She sipped slowly, smirking as her eye caught the eye of a tall male from across the room. She shot him a bit of a small smile before turning away and making her way through the crowd once more. Sweat circulated along her neckline, bodies pushed against hers, the room spun ever so slightly, but she smiled and knocked back the remains of her drink before setting it in the hand of some unknown passerby. Her body moved to the rhythm of the pulsating bass; letting the alcohol free her body on the dance floor.

She let whatever guy dance with her, but only for a song. She drank, teased, drank, flaunted, drank, kissed. Sometimes, most nights, she would stumble off through whatever club, venue, or bar she was in that night in search of some cute enough guy, and tonight was no different. After she was way past tipsy, she stumbled into a tall body and giggled, pressing her face into the semi well built male.

Fumbling through the medicine cabinet, her hands gripped the bottle of Advil before popping two dry. She lazily pulled her hair into a messy bun, then uncapped the container of cold cream, smearing a small portion over the once perfect makeup job.

Twelve minutes later she staggered into the living room in sweats, a v-neck, and flip flops glaring at her waiting brother.

“Let’s go,” Matt ordered gesturing for her to exit the apartment first. She grabbed her purse before silently walking out. Their footsteps synched on the journey to the car, climbing in and driving towards a local café.

Matt told her to sit in the corner table before heading towards the counter to order.

Riley laid her head down on the cool table top playing around with the various objects placed strategically on the surface. Her mind raced with possible conversations that would soon start but they all came down to a single theme—her lifestyle.

“Riley?” the voice asked concerned.

“Mmm yes,” she mumbled looking up. “Alexxxxxxxxxxxx,” she slurred smirking at him.

“Okay I think you’ve had a little too much to drink Junior Fly,” he voiced lifting her slouching body up some and helping her walk towards the bar.

“Pass me another bottle honey,” she sang drunkenly, laughing at the end.

Alex rolled his eyes and staggered up to the dark haired male sitting on a stool with another figure.

“Alex let’s go back to my place,” Riley purred touching his chest. She was too drunk to notice the narrowed eyes from the closest sitting figure.

“Caramel macchiato,” he whispered setting it down in front of her eyes.

She gently lifted her head before muttering a “Thanks.” She took a quick sip letting the hot liquid wake up her senses before glancing at her older brother.

“Riley,” he sighed setting his own plastic cup down. “I’m worried about you.”

The younger Flyzik rolled her eyes before taking another cautious sip.

“Seriously Ri,” Matt replied sincerely.

“Look Matt save the pep talk, I know I drank too much last night, my head is torturing me for it. I promise I won’t do it again,” she repeated the same old phrase with a dull voice.

“Ri you hate me first of all, second of all I have a girlfriend, and third off all, you need to go home and sleep. How much did you even drink?”

Still un-phased by her audience she held up three fingers and said “Ten.”

“Yeah too many for the not-so-light-weight,” Alex muttered setting the frail girl down on a stool.

“No Riley that’s not going to cut it this time,” Matt remarked firmly. “I’m worried about you,” he repeated.

“Worried about what? I don’t do anything your little band boys don’t do,” she quiped.

“Do you do this every night?” he asked.

“Mmm Alex you smell good,” she mumbled, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Shit Ri, did you smoke weed tonight too?” he asked cringing away from her face.

She nodded her head drowsily before laying it on the countertop and falling asleep.

Riley rolled her eyes. “No, not every night.”

“What do you do on the nights you don’t?”

“Relax at the apartment,” she said shrugging.

“You don’t go out with friends?”

“I go out with people,” Riley replied.

“Drinking?”

“Seriously Matt is this all necessary? What’s it to you anyways?” she asked getting bored taking another sip of her coffee feeling the aching in her temple slowly fading.

“Like I said I’m worried. You need other things to do besides drinking all the time,” Matt advised.

Riley rolled her eyes. “Don’t be. I go out with people, we have fun. I still get my shit done at work and class, I get coffee and run in the mornings, hang out at Border’s every once in a while.”

Matt sighed and took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t even know what happened to you since high school.”

Riley snorted. “I matured dumbass.”

“Did you?”

Riley clicked her tongue before setting her cup down and chuckled. “Yes, I think I have.”

“How so?”

“How about you leave the interviews to Gaskarth and Barakat,” she replied ignoring his question.

“It’s a simple question,” Matt responded taking a sip, watching her.

Riley sighed and took a sip of her drink slowly contemplating her answer. How can such a simple question be so difficult to answer? She thought.

She saw Matt nod his head slightly before furrowing her eyebrows and snapping, “I have a job. I stopped putting up with petty high school drama. Want me to ask you why the fuck you’re mature? It’s not that easy to answer dickface.”

Matt replied, “Well that’s a mature answer,” she rolled her eyes,” So what if you have a job? The guys have jobs, sixteen year olds have jobs, doesn’t make them mature, just shows they need money. So what about other drama? Whose shit do you put up with now?”

“My own,” Riley replied simply.

Matt nodded his head and silence pressed over the table for a couple minutes.

“How’s Erica doing?” Riley asked referring to his roommate.

“You two don’t talk anymore?” Matt asked furrowing his eyebrows.

Riley shook her head and shrugged. “Just sort of slowly lost contact.”

Matt quirked an eyebrow and nodded his head in understanding. “She’s good.”

“Have you heard from Caroline or Chris?” she asked referring to the next door neighbors they had been good friends with growing up.

“Mm yeah,” Matt nodded setting his cup back down. “You haven’t talked to them either?” he asked curiously.

“It’s hard to stay in touch when people live on the other side of the country,” she replied with a shrug.

“It’s not that hard?” Matt replied giving her a questionable glance.

Again she shrugged and took a sip. “Differing schedules, new people, new life, it’s whatever, people move on.”

“But you and Caroline were like attached at the hip growing up,” Matt replied.

“And now we are not,” Riley answered slowly. “No big deal.”

“Okay…” Matt replied. “So who’s your best friend now? I don’t think I’ve met any of your friends.”

“Because you haven’t,” she answered taking a sip. “And Alex, haven’t you heard? We’re BFFs fo’ life,” she joked.

Riley walked towards the group of people sitting around a dim-lit table. A ring of smoke clouded over them as laughter ringed through the air. The beer in her hands felt cool against her palm as she stepped closer to the table. Her body found its way to the outer circle and the voices quickly subsided, being replaced with quick glances, smirks, and quiet “hello’s.”

Matt chuckled. “No seriously.”

Riley paused only slightly before settling in the open chair between two guys. Conversation slowly picked back up, cueing Riley that the group was talking about her only moments before.

It might upset her if she wasn’t used to it.

“No one really,” she replied feeling a sting in her chest. A frown slowly graced her lips as Matt eyed her carefully.

She sat silently drinking her beer and smoking the blunt being passed around. This was her relief. If it wasn’t for the alcohol and smoking she’d have no way of releasing her pent up feelings.

“Ri, you okay?” he asked worriedly.

Riley looked up at Matt and stared into his eyes before nodding her head. “I’m fine.”

It’s not like she had anyone to go to anyways.

Matt gave her an apprehensive look before nodding his head.

A silence pressed over the siblings. Riley looked around the coffee shop while Matt played on his phone. Her eyes caught a group of three teens on the other side of the room laughing. She felt the same tightening in her stomach and turned her head away. A couple a few tables away were sitting together holding hands, talking and smiling to each other causing a frown to once again grace the twenty year old.

“Riley?” Matt’s voice echoed.

“Huh?” Riley said turning her attention back on her brother.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

It was a fast life and she was on her own. She didn’t need anyone.

Riley stared at him before looking down at her cup and tracing circles on the top. She nodded her head slowly, but blinked a few times. A burning sensation was overwhelming the back of her eyelids as her mind raced with thoughts of being lonely—no one to love and be loved by, no friends to run to when times got tough.

“Riley,” Matt whispered softly taking her hand.

She looked up at him sadly, biting her lip as sympathy overtook his features. “You’re not okay,” he whispered.

She blinked furiously but a tear still rolled down her cheek at his words. They stung to the very core of her body, shooting pain through her veins. Her heart pounded, her breathing shallowed, and she felt a chill run down her spine.

Her head shook and she felt more tears follow the first as her brother stood up and walked around the table, taking her into his arms in a tight hug.

“Hey, shhh,” he whispered rubbing her back as she clung to him. “You’ll be okay,” he assured her.

Riley shook her head into his shoulder.

The older Flyzik stayed silent making the younger sob harder into his shoulder. A ringing in Matt’s pocket distracted them both but Matt quickly ignored it. After two more times, Riley pulled away wiping her eyes and nodding for him to take it.

“What?” Matt answered harshly. After a minute of “okay’s” and a final “be right there,” Matt stood up and gave his sister a sorrowful look.

“Ri I’m sorry, I have to go,” he replied anxiously to her crestfallen features.

She frowned but nodded and wiped her face once more. “Okay,” she mumbled, turning her face away from his and playing with her empty cup.

“Ri, look at me please,” he pleaded.

She looked back up at him as he pulled her into another hug, whispering, “I’m always here for you, just call me, okay? And anytime you want to come on tour, let me know and I’ll arrange it, okay?”

She paused before nodding her head into his shoulder.

He pulled away, kissing her forehead before taking his cup and walking away.

Riley watched as her brother walked out on her, tears streaming down her face. He was the only person she trusted to give her advice and the truth hurt—the aching in her chest, the pressure in her head, the emptiness in her gut. It was like a blanket suffocating her.

Riley Flyzik finally broke.