Just One More Minute

Chapter Three: Not an Inch More Room to Self-destruct

As the final class whipped by without notice, I was still lost in thought. I couldn’t quite understand where Frankie’s relationship with me stood. Was a his friend? Was I the kind of person he wanted to trust, help, and hold? Was I a close acquaintance, simply someone he thought might be a good influence on his friends?

Or was I just charity? Was I someone he was just using to look helpful? Was I just merely his tutor, and nothing more?

The shrieking bell snapped me out of my thoughts. I sat at the desk for a moment, my hands folding in my lap, with a blank stare. I couldn’t move, and my thoughts were racing at full speed throughout my skull. “Hayley?” Frankie started. His voice sounded far away, and a little muffled. “Are you okay?” he asked me, bringing me back to Earth. I blinked a couple of times.

“Yeah,” I replied. I smiled to add effect. “I’m fantastic.”

He looked at me for a moment. “No you’re not,” he told me, “What’s wrong?”

“What am I to you?” The question spit out of my mouth like a bad tasting stew that mom would make. It burned like it too, and was definitely unwanted in the air. Silence loomed over us.

He smirked. “What do you think I am to you?” he asked.

“You tell me,” I urged. He gave me the sort of look telling me to continue opening my mind. “What am I to you? Am I just your tutor, an acquaintance, some sort of toy, or-” I broke off the sentence in fury.

“A friend,” he told. It was phrased to sound like he was continuing where I left off, but I knew at that point that that one phrase was his final answer.

“Oh,” I finished.

“Anything else?” Frankie asked. I shook my head.

“No.”

“Okay then.” With that, he glanced at the clock on the wall. “We should probably get going. I wouldn’t want you to miss your ride.” He pulled out his chair and stood, also offering his hand to help me up. I took it graciously and smiled. It had somehow put me at ease to know I had someone like Frankie involved in my life.

He gathered his books from the top of his desk and led me out of the classroom. As he opened the door for me, he said, “Bye Miss Dullsmith!” She replied with a somewhat annoyed grunt. I waved at her as we exited. She didn’t even acknowledge me.

As Frankie dropped the door and we went further down the hallway, I couldn’t help but ask, “What’s with you and Miss Dullsmith?”

“What do you mean?” he asked. Did he think I was blind? It was obvious the damn woman didn’t like him at all. From refusing to give him a tutor, to driving his old tutor away, it was obvious there was something going on with the two on them. And not anything good and whole hearty.

“Why does she treat you like shit?” I asked. He smiled to himself a bit and began.

“Well,” he started to explain, “I had her last year when I first moved here, because she had been the only teacher doing a program that I needed. She actually was okay with my existence back then, and didn’t really care what went on in my personal life.

“As the year wore on though, she started to like me less and less. First, it was for not working to standards. I had gotten a couple of bad grades on tests and was getting some pronunciation wrong. Then it was for minor things, like not having something to write with or for not doing something I didn’t understand on my homework. Eventually, I stopped participating to avoid getting in trouble. I got yelled at for that too.”

“What made her start treating you like that?” I asked.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I believe it either had something to do with a family issue or the way I acted. As you could see from today, I’m not exactly, well, ‘manly’. Plus, I was apparently ‘dressing like a punk.’ Last year is when I got my snake bites.” He toyed with his lip rings a bit. “But I remember exactly what caused the overall hatred.”

“What?” I asked. I needed to know.

“She found me kissing a guy in between classes,” he told me bluntly. I stopped for a minute, and let the words sink in.

“Wait,” I started, “You’re gay?”

“I thought you guessed that from the start,” he replied, sort of shocked. I looked back and realized that it he wasn’t the type of guy who hid it well. Pink hair? I’ve never seen a guy with pink hair before. Not even in the city or on Halloween. Then there was the fact of standing up to Miss Dullsmith, when she was saying the homophobic bullshit about my attire. The words he said to her were such an obvious sign. Well, aren’t I brilliant?

“I’m a smart child,” I told him. He nodded.

“We’re all oblivious at points,” he told me. I thought for a moment. Something came to mind. Could the guy be- No. Can’t be. Can it?

“Did the guy you kissed happen to be-”

“My tutor?” Frankie interrupted, “Uhhh. Yeah.”

“Oh.” I stood for a moment, letting all the information absorb. Too much was coming at me at once. I felt like I was in the middle of a war, and everyone was coming full force only at me.

At this point, we were now outside, and everyone was rushing to the buses headed for home. I bet none of them were headed for Seattle, but going back to Donna Reed’s old house was a fine substitute I suppose.

“I suppose this is where we part,” Frankie told me.

“Yeah I guess it is,” I looked around, “Which bus are you on though?”

“I’m not going on the bus today,” he told me, “My brother is picking me up.”

“You have a brother?!” I was shocked. There was another Frankie in the world? No way!

“Yes. He’s the oldest of three.”

“How old is he?”

“Same age as me. We’re triplets.”

“So let me get this straight,” I started, “There are two other guys in the world that look just like you?”

“Pretty much,” he told, “Though we all have different qualities.”

“Wow,” I exclaimed, “That’s a shocker.”

“You learn something new every day,” he replied. I nodded.

“I’ll see you later I suppose,” I told his. I began to head for the bus.

“Bye Hayley,” he told me, smiling. I smiled back and waved. And with that, I pulled out my ipod, turned up the volume and the world around me was on mute. The only thing I could hear as I left the grounds and went back to the house were Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten banging it out in my eardrums.

I arrived at the house somewhat safely after day one. As I opened the front door, I heard something I always dreaded, even as a kid. Mom had gotten off of work early, and had come to greet me upon my return.

“Hi sweety,” she greeted cheerfully. My jaw was now dropped in disappointment of not having peace, and my eyes were no glazed over in a “Why me?” kind of stare. Mom pulled me over to the kitchen, which actually had some of our old furniture in place. Good. Now I can fix my room. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” I started. For once, I decided to tell the truth about my school day. “I met some people.”

“Oh wonderful!” Mom cheered. She was always happy about me getting socially involved. “I got to meet the neighbors while you were at school.” Wait. Does she not have a job yet? “Who did you meet dear?”

“This one girl named Mary,” I started.

“Oh, she must be the Dillon’s daughter!” she started, “Nice people. They live nearby.”

“Yeah. She’s nice,” I told. “Then I met her boyfriend Jimi, and these two girls named Linda and Jen.”

“Do you know if any of them have two sisters?” she asked.

“I think Jen,” I told her, “They’re both in different school’s though.”

“Oh, I met their mother today then at the store. She seemed nice, and very down to earth,” she told. I smiled, and thought back to Jen, who was indeed a great girl, but was definitely hard to keep up with. Smart and knew what she was doing, but not exactly ‘down to earth.’

“And then I met Kelly McKardle,” I told. “She’s on my bus normally, but usually doesn’t go on.”

“I don’t think I met her parents,” she replied, hanging her head like she disappointed someone. Does she honestly think I care about her meeting my friend’s parents? I don’t think she’s capable of letting that get through her think black and white head.

“There was also Jay, who’s pretty cool.” I paused, debating whether I should tell mom about Frankie. It took a good minute, but I decided to. She’d end up finding out about him anyway, with her prying nails and ear for gossip. “And Frankie.”

“Why don’t you tell me about Frankie dear,” she started. I smirked, thinking about the therapist from Donnie Darko. I should tell mom Frank’s a giant bunny rabbit that tells me about time travel and the end of the world. Is she old enough for a heart attack?

I decided to tell the truth, as fun as the lie would be. “Frankie’s the boy who introduced me to everyone. He’s really nice, and pretty smart too. He’s foreign, and speaks fluent German, but is still learning English. He’s kind, and has the best smile.”

“What’s his family like?” Mom asked. Too bad curiosity killed the cat, instead of humans. Poor kitty cat. “What does he look like?”

“He has blonde hair,” I told her, “And two lip rings on his bottom lip. They’re called snake bites. He has pink streaks throughout his hair right now.”

Mom paused for a minute. “What’s his last name again?”

“Parker, mom,” I told her, “Parker.”

At that moment, Mom’s eyes narrowed a bit, and her face dropped from cheerful and overall shame. Not shame for herself, but shame on me. “I don’t think you should hang out with that boy anymore Hales,” she told me. She got up from the chair and quickly moved to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. She then headed for the cabinet, which I remembered held Aspirin, Tylenol, and other various pills.

“Are you kidding me?” I fumed, “Mom, why? I already told you he’s nice, he’s kind, and anything but selfish! What more could you want from him, and me!”

“Hayley,” she started, “He’s going to be a bad influence on you!”

“Why mom?” I asked, “Give me one, good, solid reason why he’d be a bad influence, and I’ll give it some thought!”

“Hayley,” she started, “Don’t you know that he doesn’t have a real family? He lives with his brother in some little house by the train tracks. Doesn’t that say something to you about his parents, or morals?”

At that moment, I froze. I remembered back to ninth period today, when Frankie told me he was foreign. He only said he was raised by a German family a while back. A regular person would have said “My family is German.” I’m just an oblivious blob today, aren’t I?

“But why should it matter mom?” I asked, “So what if he lives with his brother! Who cares about the past? Focus on the present for once mom, and stop pretending it’s still the fifties and all is good!!”

“Hayley, it’s only for your own good!” she told me. She opened the cabinet, took out the bottle of pills, and slammed the white wood closed. “I don’t want to see my little girl get hurt.”

“But mom, the fact is I’m not a little girl anymore,” I replied, “I’m a big girl now, who has big girl chores, big girl panties, and big girl books. I can make big girl decisions!!”

“Hayley, please,” Mom scolded, “The neighbors might hear.”

“That’s just it mom! All you care about is image, and that’s what keeps you from knowing not only what goes on in my life, but facing what’s going on in yours. Mom, it took you two fucking years to realize you didn’t love Dad anymore, but you knew from the first fight. You just didn’t get divorced quicker because you didn’t want neighbors to gossip!”

“Hayley!” Mom yelled, “I waited for you! I wanted to wait until you were older to understand! Trust me, I wanted to wait until you graduated junior high for that new start, but it was way too much. The fresh start is for you!”

“’The fresh start is for me’ my ass!!”

“Hayley!!”

“Mom, why don’t you get it? You’re making Frankie to be a bad influence and selfish, but the truth is, you’re the selfish one. No more excuses for once, please!!!” I screamed.

“This conversation is over,” she stated, going back to the bottle on the counter and pouring our two white pills. Silence fell, but only for so long.

“It’s because he’s gay isn’t it?” I asked.

“I said this conversation is over Hayley,” she explained, oh so calmly.

“It is, isn’t it?”

“Hayley-”

“Mom!”

“Hayley, stop.”

“No mom. You stop.”

“Stop acting like a brat.”

“No Mom, you’re the one acting like a brat.”

“Hayley, stop! You’re being selfish now. Now, go upstairs and do your school work. This conversation is over.”

“No mom,” I told her, “It’s not over. It will never be over until you stop judging people for who they are!”

“What is going on with you?” she asked, exasperated, “You aren’t the little girl I remember. I raised you better than this!”

“No mom,” I started, “Dad raised me better than this.”

She stood still, and didn’t move for a minute. And with that, I ran upstairs to my room, to make it my own.

It was cluttered with boxes, and it looked as if Mom had made the room up for me. It didn’t look good at all. My bed’s headboard was up against the wall and the head of the room. My night stand tucked in a corner, with a black digital alarm clock (which was obviously new, and picked out because mom thought it was “cute”). There were Harvard college banners on the wall, and a Harry Potter banner that covered the red and black poster from the last family. Dolls were scattered across a new, light blue couch (which, other than the dolls, I actually liked).

On the ugly, new, seventies shag bedspread (lime green), there was three hundred dollars and a note in mom’s handwriting:

Hayley,

I thought with the fresh start, you might have liked some new stuff. Some of it I bought already (see couch, bedspread, and clock), and a lot of the old stuff was sold to a shop nearby. Please, only use the money to buy furniture, and if you want, paint. If you have any left over, than spend it on whatever.

Have Fun!
-Mom

I read the note over again and looked at the money. I knew three hundred was too much, considering she bought the actual furniture already. And paint wasn’t exactly expensive. Two buckets was enough, and would only cost about seventy-five dollars. I could get a good bedspread from Target, and that would be plenty cheap.

Maybe a trip could be made out of this. I pulled out my cell phone and started to flip through the address book. Only then did I realize I had no friend’s numbers yet. I only had Seattle numbers, like Kia’s and Marie’s. My ex-boyfriend’s number was still on there too. I decided that that old secret would be deleted.

I flipped through a little more, and the memories rushed back one by one. Kia, sewing costumes for the school play. Marie, playing lacrosse. Kissing Jared, and not enjoying it as much as I should have. Playing spin the bottle at Karina Kate’s party and getting a kiss I enjoyed-.

I shook out of that thought quickly and snapped back to my phone, which had a number I didn’t recognize. It had a Long Island area code. I clicked on it and the name that came up made me smile. Joy overcame me when I found the person I wanted to call.

Frankie Parker.