Candles

It was our 5 month anniversary. I was cooking dinner for Andrew and I had the house all to myself. I loved him so much, he loved me too though. It wasn't some unrequited thing where I was madly in love and he was just dating for the sake of it. No, that wasn’t us. He always told me the sweetest things; I could tell he meant it. I remember what he said right before we parted after school this afternoon.

"I can't wait to see you love, I miss you already." He had whispered in my ear as he held me, shielding me from the cold.

"I love you too Andrew. I hope you'll like my surprise." I had whispered back, looking sadly up into his beautiful dark eyes.

"Don't be sad beautiful, you will never be alone. I'll be there as soon as I can." he said.

He kissed me goodbye and I watched him go away, wishing he would stop turning back to blow me kisses. This was always the problem, we were too in love for our age, we were in pain just to have to go home at the end of the day. It was horrible. The thought of going home to a house without my love, my star, was depressing enough. He lit up my life. Can’t explain how happy I was, like instant joy. You could see it spread across my face when I saw him.

I was in the kitchen finishing up his favorite dish, veal parmesan when I realized I had to get ready. I ran upstairs, leaving the food to cook, to throw on my outfit that I picked out just for him. I had gone shopping at LaSenza just for this occasion. I had picked out a black push-up bra that glittered all across the front and had fake diamonds all up the straps. It came with a matching lace thong that looked very sexy paired with the matching bra. I admit, the black looked striking against my tall white frame and stuck out nicely as my honey-blonde hair cascaded over my shoulders. I grabbed the sexy little black dress that I had picked for the date. We had both agreed to dress up seeing as my parents were out of town for the weekend and couldn’t laugh at us.

I walked back down the stairs to set up the dining room. There was a small table that was covered with candles and rose petals that I had decorated it with. It was going to be perfect. I walked around the room lighting the candles and finishing up the dinner preparation when I realized the time. He was so late, I didn’t know what was wrong but he didn’t show the whole night.

As I cleaned up the table and food from last night that I fell asleep at, I tried his cell once again. I heard the familiar voicemail and decided to leave a message.

"Andrew, I'm really sorry to bug you again but what’s going on love? I thought you were coming last night. Please just call me back; I’m starting to worry about you. I love you."

I snapped my phone shut and finished cleaning up. I walked around the room, blowing out all the candles that were almost completely melted. He loved candles and flowers. He thought they were so romantic. I smiled thinking of the first night we spent together. It was in his living room, he had the entire place covered with candles. There had been a horrific storm that night, so there was no electricity. Just me and him. His beautiful face lit up in the candlelight as rain and thunder surrounded the house.

It had been so romantic; I was hoping to recreate it tonight. Except there was no storm, of course.

I couldn’t stay up anymore; I put away the last of the used candles and dishes and went upstairs. I put on my favorite silk booty shorts and pink and red lacey matching tank and fell into my soft bed. I awoke to knocking on the door downstairs. I grabbed my housecoat and ran downstairs to open the door.

Two police officers stood outside, both looking very unhappy.

"Are you Brooke?" the female cop asked.

I nodded my head, not able to take the stunned look off my face.

"Come with us, please?" she sad to me, reaching out a hand.

I nodded again and followed, not even bothering with shoes. They put me in the back of the car and drove straight to the hospital. They didn't tell me what was going on but I felt something awful in my stomach. Like a piece of me had been ripped out and destroyed. I felt so empty, and then I realized it. Andrew hadn't come to dinner, something must be wrong.

"Where's Andrew? What’s wrong with him! Is he ok?" I started crying desperately through the mesh wire.

"Please don't be upset, we are so sorry. He got in an accident going to your house; he's in critical condition right now. We don’t know if he will be alright. But he was asking for you." She said emotionlessly from the front.

We reached the hospital and I jumped out of the car running to the receptionist desk.

"Where is he? Where is my Andrew? Please, tell me where he is!" I demanded through wrenching sobs.

The police officers led me to his room; it was so dark in there. I ran to his bed as the doctor came in and started a list of his injuries.
Punctured heart
Fractured wrist
Broken femur
Collapsed lung...
The list went on but I was barely listening. I was kissing every inch of his face, feather-light, so I wouldn't hurt him. All these thoughts rushing through my head, will he be ok? What if he isn't? What’s going to happen? Who would do this to him? Please, please please, be ok Andrew.

I couldn't stop crying, I held onto him like a life boat. Showering him with kisses, willing him to wake up and talk to me. Why had this happened? Why to my love? My heart hurt so much; it felt somebody was driving a knife right through me, willing it to cut my insides up into a mess. My heart felt as if it had shattered into pieces.

Andrew died the next nigh, I hadn't left his side. The nurse came in and told me that he was officially declared dead. That is such an awful thing to say to someone. I remember screaming at her, begging her to say it wasn't true. All she did was hand me a letter, then left me with the love of my life, gone forever.

I didn't open it, not until a week after his funeral. All I did was cry, I cried for 3 weeks without ever stopping. I cried while I ate, I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up I couldn't help it. I cried for my lost love, my Andrew. I saw the letter on my dresser and went over to pick it up. I curled up in my favorite chair, with my favorite blanket and stuffed animal that I had had since I was born and opened it.

My beautiful, beautiful Brooke.

I don't even know the words to describe how much I love you. You are my whole world, my light. You are like a candle, lighting up my life in a way I never thought possible. I can't imagine a life without you; this is why I had the nurse write these words down for me. I am so sorry Brooke, I should have been more careful. I love you so much; I just wanted to see you sooner. I love you so much Beautiful, everything about you. You’re beautiful light brown eyes, your smile, everything about you drives me crazy. I wish I could spend the rest of my life with you, but now you aren't mine anymore. Please forgive me Brooke, I never meant for this to happen. You are the only joy in my life; I hate myself so much for doing this to you. Please forgive me.

Your True Love; Andrew