Whatever Happened To Needing No One?

As I filled my wine glass to the brim with whatever the hell kind of wine this was, my eyes were starting to get heavy. I knew I was going to regret this tomorrow, but right now I couldn't care less. I just didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to think about Jonathan, I didn't want to think about Brent, and I certainly didn't want to think about the exam I had tomorrow that I had yet to study for. This is exactly why I tried to stay away from Jonathan Toews. I knew that he was going to become a distraction. I knew it, but that persistent little shit had to weasel his way into my life and make me need him. I hated him for that. I never needed anyone! I was always that girl that was more than capable of taking care of herself and, honestly, it scares the hell out of me that I am not her anymore. I downed my glass of wine and went to pour another, but this time the glass only filled halfway before I realized that the bottle was empty. Kris! Do you have any more of this stuff?

What stuff? He replied from the living room.

This wine.

That bottle was full.

Yah well it's not so full anymore. If it was I wouldn't be asking you if you had more, genius. Kris appeared in the kitchen and took the empty bottle from my hands.

Jesus, CC! You drank this whole thing?

Don't go all Dr. Phil on me. You had some too.

Yah. Two glasses.

Are you going to judge me or are you going to get me some more fucking alcohol? I have a lot I want to forget tonight and I fully intend on drinking my problems away. He just stood there, staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. Fine. I'll get it myself but don't expect me to share. I went towards the cabinet that I knew he kept the booze in, but I stumbled and landed on my ass on the kitchen floor. I groaned and laid on the cool tiles. Why the fuck is your kitchen spinning? That's not safe.

Come on. Let's get you home. He said as he bent down to pick me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my heavy head against his shoulder as he began walking through his apartment with me in his arms.

I'm a mess. I mumbled into his shoulder as we approached my apartment door.

Yah. You are. But you're a hot mess if that makes it any better. I laughed slightly and closed my eyes as he carried me through the door. Suddenly I was extremely tired. SEABROOK! He called out.

Hey. What's with her? I heard Brent's voice, but I didn't bother opening my eyes.

I believe this belongs to you. Kris said as he handed me off to Brent. I groaned and wrapped my arms around Brent's neck. She got into the wine. Kris explained.

Ohh. Brent replied, understanding why i was a complete disaster. Bedtime Ry. He told me and I nodded. Bed sounded great.

Night CC. Kris said and I waved at him lazily. Later Seabs.

Yah, man. Thanks for bringing her back. Brent replied and then I heard the front door close. Moments later I was on my bed and I hadn't even realized that we had left the living room. I curled into the fetal position as I heard dresser drawers being opened and closed. Here. Brent said as he gave me a pair of pajama pants and a shirt to change into. I slowly sat up and began pulling my sweater over my head but I got stuck and gave up, laying back down with my sweater half off.

Sit up you tool. Brent ordered with a laugh as he pulled me into a sitting position.

I'm tired. I argued as he pulled my sweater over my head.

I can see that, but you'll feel better in your pajamas. He told me as he forced the t-shirt over my head. Arms. He demanded. I did as I was told and put my arms through the sleeves one by one. Brent then grabbed each of my pant legs and pulled, causing Jonathan's huge sweatpants to slide from my body without any resistance.

I don't think Jonny would like you getting me naked.

Yah well good thing for us I'm getting you naked so I can dress you again. Come on. Help me out here, Ry. He said. I lifted my legs so he could put my pants on me. Go to sleep. He told me as he placed a blanket over me and kissed the top of my head.

You're so good to me. I told him. That's why I don't want to leave you.
- - -
My alarm clock startled me and I sat straight up in my bed. Instantly I was hit with a mind shattering head ache. I groaned and laid back down. Why the hell was it so bright?! I rolled to my right side, away from the window, and I was brought up solid against another body. My eyes snapped open and all I could see was skin. I sat up again, taking in the bigger picture and I realized that it was Brent. Oh my god. I muttered into my hands. I raised the blanket hesitantly, glancing under, and I was relieved. He still had his pants on. Mine, however, were gone. What the fuck happened last night?! I tried to piece it all together but all I could remember was watching poker for hours with Kris and then busting out the wine. That was a biiiig mistake. I always got nasty hangovers when I drank wine, but I still did it. I always wanted to kill myself the next day. I poked Brent's back with my finger until he opened his eyes.

Hey. He mumbled.

Hey? That's what I get? What the hell happened?!

What do you mean?

Why are you in my bed?! I exclaimed.

You wouldn't let me leave. I raised my eyebrows at him. You wanted me to stay. You told me you didn't want to sleep alone and if I left you were going to find Versteeg. Oh. My. God. So I stayed. I figured Tazer would consider me the lesser of two evils.

Where are my pants?

Uh... he laughed. You woke up at like four and started stripping your clothes off.

What?!

Yah. You were mumbling something but all I could make out was that you were hot. I got you to keep your shirt on, but you weren't putting your pants back on.

Did I say anything embarrassing? I asked and he just laughed. That's when I remembered.

You're so good to me. That's why I don't want to leave you. I told Brent as he turned to leave my room. I love you Brent

Good night Ryah. Brent replied with a laugh. I sat up straight, quickly.

I'm not drunk, you know.

Yes you are. You're completely trashed. I shook my head wildly and then pushed my hair out of my eyes.

No. I'm perfect. I argued.

Go to sleep!

Don't leave. I don't want to be alone!

Ryah, I am not..

Please don't leave me! Stay. Cuddle with me. I begged.

No!

Why not?!

Because you get ridiculously horny when you're drunk. I don't want any part of that. Do you know how hard it is for me to say 'No, Ryah. I will not sleep with you?' He said as he turned the doorknob.

Fine. I'll go cuddle with Kris.

Why don't you go cuddle with your boyfriend. He said almost bitterly.

No! He sucks. I replied childishly. Please? I stuck out my bottom lip.

No.

Fine. Steeger it is. He groaned as I got out of bed.

Would you get your ass back in bed? You 're not going to sleep in Versteeg's bed like this. He forced me back into bed and then climbed in next to me. No funny stuff.

I just want to cuddle. I told him as I rested my head on his chest.

That's fine. But if I feel that hand start to wander I'm gone. He told me causing me to laugh.

Shut up Seabrook.

Wow. I stated as I rested my head on my knees. I'm not sure what shocked me more...how much of a disaster I was or "Do you know how are it is for me to say 'No, Ryah. I will not sleep with you.'" I was a wreck last night.

You were. Brent replied as he nodded. And all because you're freaked out about moving in with your boyfriend.

It's not just that! I'm stressed about school. I have a hundred exams coming up that I haven't.. I stopped, glancing at the clock. Fuck! I shouted as I jumped out of bed.

Ry?

I have to go! I have an exam like...now! I grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the floor and began putting them on as I ran from the room. My leg got caught in them and I landed on the floor. Ow. That's gonna bruise.

Are you okay? Brent asked as he was cracking up.

You know, It's kind of hard to believe that you're concerned when you're laughing at me. He took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

I'll drive you. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me through the apartment.
- - -
I left the classroom I had just been writing my exam in, trying to figure out what I needed to get to scrape by with a passing grade. That was brutal. I could barely concentrate thanks to this fucking hangover. My head was pounding, the lights were hurting my eyes and I felt like I was going to hurl all over my paper. I turned the corner and saw Jonathan leaning up against the wall. Wow! What happened to you? I knew I looked like shit. I hadn't looked in a mirror yet, but I didn't have to to know that. I hadn't brushed my hair this morning, I hadn't washed my face. I was wearing Jonny's sweatpants that I wore yesterday, a ratty old Myrtle Beach t-shirt under my jacket, and my big dark sunglasses covering my aching eyes.

I'm glaring at you right now. I told him, causing him to laugh.

You okay? He asked. I shook my head no as I went straight to him, wrapping my arms around his middle. His arms made their way around me as I leaned into him. What happened?

Wine.

Ohh. Well...why don't we go back to bed? I nodded as we left the building. Suddenly everything felt better. I didn't care that I had bombed that exam. I didn't care that I was supposed to be mad at him. I didn't care about this killer hangover. I felt relieved. Everything felt ten times better with Jonathan's arms around me.