Whatever Happened To Needing No One?

What happened? Brent asked when I managed to stop crying long enough to be coherent.

He completely freaked out and I don't know why! He woke up this morning and just...freaked.

What do you mean?

He woke up all grumpy and then the dogs chewed up his shoes. He threw a chair half way across the room and then he threw the shoes at the wall! Brent’s eyes widened. He too knew that wasn’t like Jon. He was never one for temper tantrums. I told him not to do that and he said that it was his apartment and he would throw things at the walls if he wanted to. Then he told me that he needed a breather and that he was suffocating. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears again as I told Brent about our fight. This is exactly why I didn't want to move in there! I knew this was going to happen! Brent’s arm tightened around my shoulders as I cried into his chest.

It was just a fight, Ry. I'm sure he didn't mean it! I know how much Tazer loves you. He's been crazy about you since day one. I nodded.

Yah. But maybe he's right. I said quietly. Brent pulled away from me slightly so that he could look at my face.

What are you saying, Ry?

Maybe we do need a breather. I stated as I looked up at him. Quickly he went into fix it mode trying to undo the damage that Jon had done to our relationship.

Ryah...don’t you think you're jumping to conclusions? I mean...it was just a fight!

No! It wasn’t just a fight. He meant those words.

Maybe he did! But so what? Because he said some things and threw his shoes you're leaving him? I shrugged. I didn't want to leave Jon. The last thing I wanted was to go back to life without him, but I'm not about to sit back and let him act like that. Ryah...it’s Tazer! He told me.

I'm aware of that.

What I mean is this is the same guy that sent me home after games with letters for you. The same guy that worked his ass off to get to where you guys are right now. This is the same guy that skipped out on a practice and flew home from Florida to be with you on your birthday!

All boyfriends should do that. I told him.

He wasn’t your boyfriend then!

Who’s side are you on?! I exclaimed. Brent was supposed to be here for me. Not sticking up for his spastic teammate. Are you trying to tell me that what he did was okay?!

No! No that's not what I'm saying. I just think you up and leaving him is a bit irrational. He told me as Roxie and Sam came racing into the room.

Hi babies! I said as I brought them up onto the bed. I laid down on the pillow and Sam cuddled into my neck while Roxie attacked Brent’s hand. He retaliated by roughing her up a bit. I cuddled into Sam’s blonde fur.

Ry...Jon loves you. He told me. Do you love him? I didn't reply, I just looked at the ceiling. Do you..

Of course I love that jackass! I exclaimed.

Well why the hell are you talking about leaving him?

BRENT! He said I'm suffocating him! That's not something I can let go of! If he's suffocating after a month what the hell is it going to be like six months down the road? Brent shook his head.

You need to sleep on this. You need to cool down and then talk to him. I’ll take these little fur balls. He said as he scooped them up. Go to sleep. He ordered and he kissed my forehead before leaving the room. Brent made everything seem so simple. I guess it was pretty simple being on the outside looking in, but this was far from simple.
- - -
I opened my eyes as I felt a kiss placed on the tip of my nose and I could see the outline of the body next to me. I sat up slightly and a pair of arms that I knew were Jon’s wrapped around me, pulling my close to him. Hi. He mumbled.

What are you doing here?

I could ask you the same thing. He said to me.

Jon, you told me that you're suffocating.

So you leave?! Ryah that's not what I meant! He told me.

What other meaning could ‘I need a breather. I'm suffocating’ have? He sighed and took a deep breath in.

I don't know, okay? I don't know why I said that. It was just a fight! We got under each other’s skin!

No! You are the one that freaked out! From the minute you woke up you were a bitch!

I was a bitch?! He exclaimed.

Yes! I mean, come on Jonathan! You threw shit all over the bedroom! You lost it because I didn't make you breakfast after you told me you didn't want anything! You said you wanted a breather. That's what I'm giving you. I felt his body tense beside me, though I could only vaguely make out his facial features through the pitch black room.

Are you breaking up with me? He asked in a miniscule voice. I exhaled a long stream of air.

I don't know!

Well if you don't know who the hell does?

I think a break would be good. I told him as the first tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I was surprised I hadn’t broken down yet. Jonathan had turned me into an emotional basket case. Every emotion I had when it came to him was to the extreme.

Are you kidding me?!

No. Maybe you're not the only one in this relationship that is suffering. I told him, stressing the word suffering. No you can have your apartment back.

Is that what this is about?! I didn't mean..

You did! It was something that you said in the moment and you absolutely meant it, but no! that's not what this is about. I knew this was going to happen! This is why I didn't want to move in with you! I knew that this would ruin us. We did his way too fast!

Ryah, please don't do this. He begged as he took my hands in his. I love you!

I love you too Jon. I told him, again wiping at tears that were now feely flowing. This will be good for us.