I Got Soul but I'm Not a Soldier
I got soul but I'm not a soldier, Ch.3
3
Ryan had refused to leave my side when they wanted to separate us. “I’m not going anywhere without him,” he said, firmly standing his ground. He grabbed me by the arm in protest, not letting go of me for one single second. Ryan was British and I was American, I thought that there would have been no way that we would’ve been put together. But miraculously, they did put us together after Ryan’s little protest. “Fantastic,” Ryan grinned when we received the good news. “It is,” I replied and pulled him into a tight embrace. I wouldn’t have known what to do if I had been sent away without Ryan. At that moment he already meant the world to me.
After we had left the safe surroundings of the Red Cross hospital, we spent the first few days at a military base. It was there that we hooked up with Spencer, an old childhood friend of Ryan. “Spencer!” Ryan shouted excitedly, pulling the other man into a friendly hug and patting his back. “It’s been ages!” Spencer said as Ryan had let go of him. “Since June last year, when they picked me up,” Ryan stated. “Man I thought I’d never see you again,” he told Spencer, sending him a smile. Then Ryan’s eyes fell on me. “Spencer, I’d like you to meet a very good friend of mine. This is Brendon,” he introduced me, patting my shoulder. “Nice to meet you, pal,” Spencer smiled and offered me his hand. “Nice to meet you too,” I replied, shaking his hand. “Ryan told me a lot about you. You’re the one he got into mischief with when he was younger,” I grinned. Spencer chuckled. “You could definitely say that,” he replied. “You have a different accent. Are you American?” he questioned, tilting his head a bit to the side. “I am,” I nodded in reply. “I don’t want to offend you or anything, but what is an American soldier doing in a British military base?” he asked, looking a little bit confused. “Spencer,” Ryan whispered, shaking his head. I guess it might have seemed weird to Spencer if he knew that two guys wanted to stick together so desperately, so we kept our mouths shut about that. “It doesn’t matter.”
That night we had been told that we would have been sent back to the fights within three days. My mood had gotten worse and worse by the second and Ryan noticed this. “I know you don’t want to go back, Brendon,” he sighed, resting his hand on my knee. The little contact sent thousands of little sparkles up my spine and I didn’t want him to take his hand away again. “I don’t want to either. But if you act like this, the chance that you’ll get hurt or that you’ll get killed, will be bigger. I don’t want that, Brendon. I want you to survive this,” he said and then took his hand away again. “I never had such a good friend as you before, it would be a shame if something happened to you,” he told me, sending me a small but genuine smile. “Can’t we just, not get into the fights?” I desperately asked. I knew it was impossible, that it was my duty to go back and fight for our freedom, but I couldn’t help dreaming that I wouldn’t have to go back. Ryan sighed. “We could flee, but it’ll be dangerous. If we get caught by an Axis soldier, we’ll be shot on the spot and if we’re found by an Allies soldier, we’ll be punished severely,” he told me.
The thought of fleeing had never occurred to me before. Run away from all the terror; it sounded like such a beautiful dream. “Would you do that?” I asked, looking at Ryan with piercing eyes. If he wanted to do this with me, I’d do it straight away, not caring about the danger it brought with itself. I thought there would have been a bigger risk to get killed during a battle than being caught after fleeing. “Do you?” he questioned. I nodded. “I do, if you’re coming with me,” I answered, looking at him with pleading eyes. I had already killed one person and I didn’t want to be responsible for the death of another soldier. Ryan sighed and started biting his lower lip, which told me that he was thinking about the idea. “We’ll need a plan,” he eventually said. From that moment, I was starting to get hope again, hope that I would survive this. That we would survive this. “A plan for what?” Spencer asked, sending us both a questioning look.
Ryan grabbed Spencer by the hand and pulled him down on the bed, next to us. “We want to flee,” he quietly told Spencer. I didn’t know Spencer that well back then, but if Ryan trusted him with our new plan, then I did too. Spencer slowly nodded. “I see,” he replied. “Isn’t that betraying our country?” he questioned. “I know that this war is horrible, but we have to fight for the freedom of our country. Don’t be such a coward and prove that you’re worthy of your nationality,” he told us, sounding offended. “We don’t like the way we’re fighting for our freedom. Violence doesn’t solve a thing. The only thing that is happening now is millions of lives being destroyed,” Ryan spoke up, defending us. I was glad that Ryan thought about this the same way as I did. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he would’ve said that he agreed with Spencer after all. Spencer shook his head. “I agree with that, but things don’t always turn out like that. This war is what we got and we just have to live with it,” he spoke. “But if you two want to flee, I won’t stop you or I won’t tell on you, I just think it’s the wrong thing to do,” he added and stood up again. “But I would think about it twice before I’d betray my country.”
Ryan sighed and saw Spencer walking away. I knew he loved and respected Spencer so it must have been hard for him to hear those words coming from Spencer’s mouth. I carefully looked at him and silently hoped that he wouldn’t change his mind. “We need to prepare our plan,” Ryan muttered after a short minute and patted my leg again. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled at him.
That evening, Ryan and I didn’t sleep. We stayed up the entire night to figure out how we were going to escape. Around sunrise the following day, we had come up with what we thought was a good, safe plan. We had both crawled in our beds, but neither of us could sleep. We were too excited because of our ‘plan’. We were going to try to run away straight away. We figured that if we’d stay out of sight, we’d probably could manage to get away. It would take us time, but we’d get there.
***
We had a long journey ahead of us before we would reach the battle fields. About a dozen of trucks were loaded full of fresh soldiers, ready to fight. Except for me and Ryan then. But, during the transport of the soldiers, faith struck all of us. A German airplane had spotted the convoy and started dropping bombs. The sound of the airplanes was a sound that I would never forget. The loud roaring of the airplane’s engines, the bombs hurtling through the air and the sound of them crashing into the first few trucks of the convoy. It was a deafening noise. The strength of the bomb had caused our truck to flip over with us still in it. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was Ryan grasping my hand and loud screams everywhere around us.
I was only out for mere minutes and when I opened my eyes again, I was lying in the long grass next to the road. Panic immediately struck me when I didn’t see Ryan around. “Ryan?” I yelled, frantically looking around me, trying to find any sign of the man. “Ryan!” I repeated, standing up. I didn’t like what I saw in front of me. The place where the bomb had hit was now a centre of panic and terror. The trucks had reduced to a heap of black metal and around them were bodies of soldiers, completely ripped apart and blood everywhere around them. I heaved a few times at the sight of it and had to rip my eyes away from it if I didn’t want to black out again. “Brendon, I’m here!” I heard a familiar voice call. Ryan. I ran towards him as fast as I could and thanked God that he was alright. “We need to find Spencer,” Ryan said after giving me a quick hug. “He has to be alright,” he added, his voice trembling with fear. “I’m sure he’s fine,” I reassured Ryan and patted his shoulder. I turned around and again, I was met with the most awful sight. By now, the survivors were helping each other out and tried to cover the dead bodies a bit. It was just awful. There was one soldier, whose leg had been ripped off and you could see a piece of bone sticking out of his body, blood gushing out of the gaping wound. He was still alive though. Two soldiers picked him off the ground and carried him to one of the trucks that had survived the bombing. I prayed to God that he would survive this.
After five or so minutes, we had found Spencer, hidden away in the long grass. He was sitting with his knees pulled up and his chin resting on them. I noticed that his breathing had become faster than usual and I started to worry that he might have been wounded. “Spencer,” Ryan breathed, crouching down next to the man. “Are you hurt?” he asked, laying his hand on Spencer’s cheek. Spencer shook his head. “I’m coming with you if you’re still planning on running away,” he whispered, looking at both our faces. “I’ve seen enough.”
Ryan had refused to leave my side when they wanted to separate us. “I’m not going anywhere without him,” he said, firmly standing his ground. He grabbed me by the arm in protest, not letting go of me for one single second. Ryan was British and I was American, I thought that there would have been no way that we would’ve been put together. But miraculously, they did put us together after Ryan’s little protest. “Fantastic,” Ryan grinned when we received the good news. “It is,” I replied and pulled him into a tight embrace. I wouldn’t have known what to do if I had been sent away without Ryan. At that moment he already meant the world to me.
After we had left the safe surroundings of the Red Cross hospital, we spent the first few days at a military base. It was there that we hooked up with Spencer, an old childhood friend of Ryan. “Spencer!” Ryan shouted excitedly, pulling the other man into a friendly hug and patting his back. “It’s been ages!” Spencer said as Ryan had let go of him. “Since June last year, when they picked me up,” Ryan stated. “Man I thought I’d never see you again,” he told Spencer, sending him a smile. Then Ryan’s eyes fell on me. “Spencer, I’d like you to meet a very good friend of mine. This is Brendon,” he introduced me, patting my shoulder. “Nice to meet you, pal,” Spencer smiled and offered me his hand. “Nice to meet you too,” I replied, shaking his hand. “Ryan told me a lot about you. You’re the one he got into mischief with when he was younger,” I grinned. Spencer chuckled. “You could definitely say that,” he replied. “You have a different accent. Are you American?” he questioned, tilting his head a bit to the side. “I am,” I nodded in reply. “I don’t want to offend you or anything, but what is an American soldier doing in a British military base?” he asked, looking a little bit confused. “Spencer,” Ryan whispered, shaking his head. I guess it might have seemed weird to Spencer if he knew that two guys wanted to stick together so desperately, so we kept our mouths shut about that. “It doesn’t matter.”
That night we had been told that we would have been sent back to the fights within three days. My mood had gotten worse and worse by the second and Ryan noticed this. “I know you don’t want to go back, Brendon,” he sighed, resting his hand on my knee. The little contact sent thousands of little sparkles up my spine and I didn’t want him to take his hand away again. “I don’t want to either. But if you act like this, the chance that you’ll get hurt or that you’ll get killed, will be bigger. I don’t want that, Brendon. I want you to survive this,” he said and then took his hand away again. “I never had such a good friend as you before, it would be a shame if something happened to you,” he told me, sending me a small but genuine smile. “Can’t we just, not get into the fights?” I desperately asked. I knew it was impossible, that it was my duty to go back and fight for our freedom, but I couldn’t help dreaming that I wouldn’t have to go back. Ryan sighed. “We could flee, but it’ll be dangerous. If we get caught by an Axis soldier, we’ll be shot on the spot and if we’re found by an Allies soldier, we’ll be punished severely,” he told me.
The thought of fleeing had never occurred to me before. Run away from all the terror; it sounded like such a beautiful dream. “Would you do that?” I asked, looking at Ryan with piercing eyes. If he wanted to do this with me, I’d do it straight away, not caring about the danger it brought with itself. I thought there would have been a bigger risk to get killed during a battle than being caught after fleeing. “Do you?” he questioned. I nodded. “I do, if you’re coming with me,” I answered, looking at him with pleading eyes. I had already killed one person and I didn’t want to be responsible for the death of another soldier. Ryan sighed and started biting his lower lip, which told me that he was thinking about the idea. “We’ll need a plan,” he eventually said. From that moment, I was starting to get hope again, hope that I would survive this. That we would survive this. “A plan for what?” Spencer asked, sending us both a questioning look.
Ryan grabbed Spencer by the hand and pulled him down on the bed, next to us. “We want to flee,” he quietly told Spencer. I didn’t know Spencer that well back then, but if Ryan trusted him with our new plan, then I did too. Spencer slowly nodded. “I see,” he replied. “Isn’t that betraying our country?” he questioned. “I know that this war is horrible, but we have to fight for the freedom of our country. Don’t be such a coward and prove that you’re worthy of your nationality,” he told us, sounding offended. “We don’t like the way we’re fighting for our freedom. Violence doesn’t solve a thing. The only thing that is happening now is millions of lives being destroyed,” Ryan spoke up, defending us. I was glad that Ryan thought about this the same way as I did. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he would’ve said that he agreed with Spencer after all. Spencer shook his head. “I agree with that, but things don’t always turn out like that. This war is what we got and we just have to live with it,” he spoke. “But if you two want to flee, I won’t stop you or I won’t tell on you, I just think it’s the wrong thing to do,” he added and stood up again. “But I would think about it twice before I’d betray my country.”
Ryan sighed and saw Spencer walking away. I knew he loved and respected Spencer so it must have been hard for him to hear those words coming from Spencer’s mouth. I carefully looked at him and silently hoped that he wouldn’t change his mind. “We need to prepare our plan,” Ryan muttered after a short minute and patted my leg again. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled at him.
That evening, Ryan and I didn’t sleep. We stayed up the entire night to figure out how we were going to escape. Around sunrise the following day, we had come up with what we thought was a good, safe plan. We had both crawled in our beds, but neither of us could sleep. We were too excited because of our ‘plan’. We were going to try to run away straight away. We figured that if we’d stay out of sight, we’d probably could manage to get away. It would take us time, but we’d get there.
***
We had a long journey ahead of us before we would reach the battle fields. About a dozen of trucks were loaded full of fresh soldiers, ready to fight. Except for me and Ryan then. But, during the transport of the soldiers, faith struck all of us. A German airplane had spotted the convoy and started dropping bombs. The sound of the airplanes was a sound that I would never forget. The loud roaring of the airplane’s engines, the bombs hurtling through the air and the sound of them crashing into the first few trucks of the convoy. It was a deafening noise. The strength of the bomb had caused our truck to flip over with us still in it. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was Ryan grasping my hand and loud screams everywhere around us.
I was only out for mere minutes and when I opened my eyes again, I was lying in the long grass next to the road. Panic immediately struck me when I didn’t see Ryan around. “Ryan?” I yelled, frantically looking around me, trying to find any sign of the man. “Ryan!” I repeated, standing up. I didn’t like what I saw in front of me. The place where the bomb had hit was now a centre of panic and terror. The trucks had reduced to a heap of black metal and around them were bodies of soldiers, completely ripped apart and blood everywhere around them. I heaved a few times at the sight of it and had to rip my eyes away from it if I didn’t want to black out again. “Brendon, I’m here!” I heard a familiar voice call. Ryan. I ran towards him as fast as I could and thanked God that he was alright. “We need to find Spencer,” Ryan said after giving me a quick hug. “He has to be alright,” he added, his voice trembling with fear. “I’m sure he’s fine,” I reassured Ryan and patted his shoulder. I turned around and again, I was met with the most awful sight. By now, the survivors were helping each other out and tried to cover the dead bodies a bit. It was just awful. There was one soldier, whose leg had been ripped off and you could see a piece of bone sticking out of his body, blood gushing out of the gaping wound. He was still alive though. Two soldiers picked him off the ground and carried him to one of the trucks that had survived the bombing. I prayed to God that he would survive this.
After five or so minutes, we had found Spencer, hidden away in the long grass. He was sitting with his knees pulled up and his chin resting on them. I noticed that his breathing had become faster than usual and I started to worry that he might have been wounded. “Spencer,” Ryan breathed, crouching down next to the man. “Are you hurt?” he asked, laying his hand on Spencer’s cheek. Spencer shook his head. “I’m coming with you if you’re still planning on running away,” he whispered, looking at both our faces. “I’ve seen enough.”