Status: finished..watch for the sequel.
Dark Side of the Moon
Alaska.
It hadn’t taken long for Tanya to arrive in Fork’s to pick me up. She was under excruciatingly strict orders from my father regarding my whereabouts at all times. My father, as well as Alice, had stayed back in Forks in order to finish off the school year (the family had decided it would appear strange to the rest of the town if half of the Doctor’s adoptive children appeared to have run off).
I had used Bella’s cell to call Jacob from my room where I was practically being held prisoner before my departure. Part of me wished that I had stayed on the motorcycle…leaving my mind to trail off to where we would be at given moments, free and together, forever. I couldn’t allow myself to think such selfish things. But was it not selfish also to allow Jacob to continue loving me? I couldn’t win either way.
It killed me (in a sense) for what I was putting Jacob through. I ached more from his pain than my own; not to put my own pain lightly at all.
It had been decided that the best way to get me to Alaska would be by flight, leaving no trail to tempt the wolves in a rescue mission of some sort… and I had no choice but to go willingly. Surely any defiance on my part would only lead to war. We weren’t Romeo and Juliet… Jacob had no Rosaline… instead we were more like Tristan and Isolde… for we were not separated by mere rivaling families so much as we were separated by worlds.
My first week with Tanya’s family I had already given up on any attempt at stubbornness, I would never win. Instead I had taken to the small, yet functional, room they have given me for my stay and spent all my waking hours in there, alone.
Irina wasn’t hiding her spite from me, either. She still held the wolves very responsible and in ill will for the death of Laurent. I would try my hardest to avoid her gaze, feeling she was wrong on multiple accounts. We had always been tight knitted with Tanya’s family, but Irina I would not hold so close to me. I couldn’t suppress the feeling that she held me somewhat responsible aswell for her personal vendetta…. She was constantly making remarks of my ‘betraying the race’.
--------
It was night again, and sleep was deceiving me. I found myself once more lying hopelessly in my bed waiting for dreams to come; staring at blank walls and begging for sleep to take me. I knew that if I could force myself to dream, they would be about Jacob. Those were the precious hours that I got to spend with him.
I decided that I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep on my own, so I grabbed my CD case and flipped through until I came upon the perfect album.
Flogging Molly.
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive
So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright
-----------------
Jacob’s smile was still burning into my mind as I awoke the next morning. My final glimpse of him had been from a memory of waking up next to him one morning, something I missed dearly. Dreaming about it at least gave me the will power I needed to pull myself out of bed that morning; telling myself over and over again that Jacob wouldn’t want me to be miserable if this was the way things had to be for the time being. My stomach scrunched into itself as the thought passed my mind that this could be forever.
But it wouldn’t be forever, I wouldn’t let it.
I made my way down into the kitchen where I could smell that Tanya was already cooking breakfast; a task she had taken to proudly since my arrival. I’m sure part of it also had something to do with my father’s orders of me staying is pristine condition, but a lot of it could have still come from that maternal longing similar to what Esme craved for so much.
“Blueberry pancakes?” Tanya asked as I sifted through the newly stocked fridge for some orange juice.
“Yes, thank you.” I answered, trying my hardest to be polite… I couldn’t find it in me to blame Tanya for my being banished here.
My eyes wandered the visual rooms of the house as I sat down and began to eat, scanning for any sign of Irina, surely she wouldn’t leave me in peace for long.
“Don’t worry, Jasmine. She’s out hunting for the weekend.” Tanya acknowledged.
I nodded in understanding, internally grateful that I would be freed of her for an entire weekend. It was like a much needed vacation.
“Jasper called this morning…” she began. I grunted in response, rolling my eyes just slightly; I had a feeling she was wanting to talk about something. “Just checking in on you of course, you really should call him… he’s worried about you.” I didn’t answer, he deserved to suffer every bit as much as I was, he was the one who sent me away after all.
“I think I’m going to go for a walk this morning, Tanya.” I informed her, placing my dishes in the sink and scrubbing them quickly.
Tanya began to look me over, as if scanning me for any sign of mischief or intent to run off. Not being able to discover anything, though not being completely un-suspicious. She nodded her head, a simple agreement to allow me to leave the house.
It was amazing the fear my father must have put into her.
Perhaps with good reason.
I had used Bella’s cell to call Jacob from my room where I was practically being held prisoner before my departure. Part of me wished that I had stayed on the motorcycle…leaving my mind to trail off to where we would be at given moments, free and together, forever. I couldn’t allow myself to think such selfish things. But was it not selfish also to allow Jacob to continue loving me? I couldn’t win either way.
It killed me (in a sense) for what I was putting Jacob through. I ached more from his pain than my own; not to put my own pain lightly at all.
It had been decided that the best way to get me to Alaska would be by flight, leaving no trail to tempt the wolves in a rescue mission of some sort… and I had no choice but to go willingly. Surely any defiance on my part would only lead to war. We weren’t Romeo and Juliet… Jacob had no Rosaline… instead we were more like Tristan and Isolde… for we were not separated by mere rivaling families so much as we were separated by worlds.
My first week with Tanya’s family I had already given up on any attempt at stubbornness, I would never win. Instead I had taken to the small, yet functional, room they have given me for my stay and spent all my waking hours in there, alone.
Irina wasn’t hiding her spite from me, either. She still held the wolves very responsible and in ill will for the death of Laurent. I would try my hardest to avoid her gaze, feeling she was wrong on multiple accounts. We had always been tight knitted with Tanya’s family, but Irina I would not hold so close to me. I couldn’t suppress the feeling that she held me somewhat responsible aswell for her personal vendetta…. She was constantly making remarks of my ‘betraying the race’.
--------
It was night again, and sleep was deceiving me. I found myself once more lying hopelessly in my bed waiting for dreams to come; staring at blank walls and begging for sleep to take me. I knew that if I could force myself to dream, they would be about Jacob. Those were the precious hours that I got to spend with him.
I decided that I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep on my own, so I grabbed my CD case and flipped through until I came upon the perfect album.
Flogging Molly.
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive
So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright
-----------------
Jacob’s smile was still burning into my mind as I awoke the next morning. My final glimpse of him had been from a memory of waking up next to him one morning, something I missed dearly. Dreaming about it at least gave me the will power I needed to pull myself out of bed that morning; telling myself over and over again that Jacob wouldn’t want me to be miserable if this was the way things had to be for the time being. My stomach scrunched into itself as the thought passed my mind that this could be forever.
But it wouldn’t be forever, I wouldn’t let it.
I made my way down into the kitchen where I could smell that Tanya was already cooking breakfast; a task she had taken to proudly since my arrival. I’m sure part of it also had something to do with my father’s orders of me staying is pristine condition, but a lot of it could have still come from that maternal longing similar to what Esme craved for so much.
“Blueberry pancakes?” Tanya asked as I sifted through the newly stocked fridge for some orange juice.
“Yes, thank you.” I answered, trying my hardest to be polite… I couldn’t find it in me to blame Tanya for my being banished here.
My eyes wandered the visual rooms of the house as I sat down and began to eat, scanning for any sign of Irina, surely she wouldn’t leave me in peace for long.
“Don’t worry, Jasmine. She’s out hunting for the weekend.” Tanya acknowledged.
I nodded in understanding, internally grateful that I would be freed of her for an entire weekend. It was like a much needed vacation.
“Jasper called this morning…” she began. I grunted in response, rolling my eyes just slightly; I had a feeling she was wanting to talk about something. “Just checking in on you of course, you really should call him… he’s worried about you.” I didn’t answer, he deserved to suffer every bit as much as I was, he was the one who sent me away after all.
“I think I’m going to go for a walk this morning, Tanya.” I informed her, placing my dishes in the sink and scrubbing them quickly.
Tanya began to look me over, as if scanning me for any sign of mischief or intent to run off. Not being able to discover anything, though not being completely un-suspicious. She nodded her head, a simple agreement to allow me to leave the house.
It was amazing the fear my father must have put into her.
Perhaps with good reason.