Dark Side of the Moon

”I don‘t know what to do, Tanya. I can‘t allow her to be with him; but I wont watch my daughter kill herself everyday…”

I could hear everything being said in the living room downstairs as I sat on my bedroom floor; back pressed against the door. I kept my eyes shut, laying my head back as well; and fought every flame that was burning me alive in my chest.

”It’s so complicated, Jasper. I’m not sure if there is even a right answer.”

“If it just could be anybody else! Even a human, that I could handle, but a wolf?! What future could there possibly be with that?!”

Tanya didn’t answer as I heard the soft springs of the couch as she sat down, no doubt putting her head in her hands to think.

I heard my father take a sharp breath in.

”All I know is that I don’t have it in me to be near her, not while she’s feeling those things for him. What I felt being around her today….what she’s feeling….”

I tried my hardest to block the rest out, anger suddenly surging through me. He couldn’t be around me? My emotional state would be like putty I his hands. He was the only one with the power to allow for me to be happy; and I didn’t mean his power of manipulation. How could he be so selfish? Were my feelings so easy for him to sacrifice so long as he never had to see me with Jacob? That was fine; if he didn’t want to be around me, I could grant him that.

- - - -

I went straight to Sam and Emily’s, not bothering to stop by home to pick of clothes; surely Sam would be gracious enough.

It seemed as though my brother’s had been expecting me as they all stood attentive around the small dining room table as I walked in.

“Jake!” Embry was to first to greet me.

None of them looked surprised to see that I had returned alone.

I nodded to Embry in acknowledgement, not sure if I was so ready for words; speaking would be admitting my failure out loud; surely it would be easier for them to see the play-by-play that my mind was sure to snitch as soon as we phased together; as much as I wasn’t eager to see it all again.

Sam walked over to me slowly, grasping me by my shoulder and bringing his face down to my height; his way of telling me he was sorry, and perhaps welcome home. Emily followed him, pulling me into a firm (for her) hug; I tried to enjoy it but all the while all I could think about was a separate pair of arms I would have preferred.

“Eat, Jake. You must be starving.” She told me, motioning towards the few muffins that still resided in a large basket in the center of the table; she must have told them to save some for me, otherwise I was sure that they would have been far from ransacked.

I couldn’t turn her down, it had been days since I had eaten anything, although I was wary of the sickening feeling in my stomach, being careful only eating so much as to not offend her.

“So are we heading out, or what’s going on?” Jared finally asked, breaking the silence between us.

I looked at Sam in confusion, everybody else seemed to be in on something that I wasn’t. Sam looked up at me, as if there was something he didn’t want to say, but he knew I would have to find out sooner or later.

“The Cullen’s seem to think that Victoria and whatever she is bringing with her will be here sooner than originally expected, they’ve asked us to keep a stronger eye out for things.” Sam began, looking at me truly apologetically.

A tremble ripped up my spine as I struggled to keep hold of myself.

“Let them take care of there own.” I spat, a little more harsh than originally intended.

“You know we can’t do that Jake, not so close to our families.”

I sighed angrily, knowing he was right. I was damned to once again run to their aid, as much as I didn’t want to. I growled at the thought; Edward’s smug smile burning into my mind. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t a fight with Edward, my fight was with Jasper.

Sam seemed to read my thoughts, as impossible as it seemed while we were in our human forms (well, impossible unless you’re some sort of freak like Edward) before he spoke again.

“The blonde, Jasper, he left town, Jake.” Sam finally let escape, obviously this had to be a large part of what he wasn’t looking forward to divulging me in.

It felt as though a brick had hit me square in the face as I considered what this must have meant. Obviously, for him to leave town, he had been worried enough that I would find her; find Jasmine. I must have been so close, even when I was at a dead end.

“Where did he run?” I asked quickly, knowing that I was hoping against reality that he would have divulged such a secret to any of my brothers.

Sam sighed.

“We don’t know, Jake. At first we thought he had ran after you, so naturally we had to follow him a short while just to ensure that you were safe. We lost him at the ocean.”\

The ocean, that could have meant anything. The bloodsuckers didn’t need to breathe, they didn’t tire easily (if at all, which seemed pretty freaky) so naturally he could have swam to any of the continents, knowing our kind would not have been able to follow.

“We better head out, Sam. They’ll be wondering why we haven’t shown up.” That was the first time that I had heard Seth say anything since I had arrived, having barely noticed him standing solemnly in the corner. I made up my mind that I owed a sincere apology to him, but decided it could wait until a better time.

“Look kid-” I began, grabbing his shoulder as he went to walk passed me and turning him so we were looking face to face. I decided that I couldn’t stand the guilt after all, there were already too many emotions pulsating through me and I didn’t think it would be fit to have him pick the apology out of my head later.

“Don’t worry about it man, I understand.”

That’s what I loved about him, he took things so well.

I followed behind Paul and Quil as they exited the house behind the rest of the pack; picking up the tail end.

Sam gave Emily a quick, but meaningful, kiss on the front porch and she waved us off, threatening that we all better be back in time for a proper meal.

We phased as soon as we had hit the borderline of the trees, stopping first only to strip ourselves of our clothes first. I had tied my shorts to my leg as usual to keep things from being awkward if a position presented itself where I had to phase back into my human self before we returned.

I kept Sam’s shoulder with Embry at my flank as we ran across the border between territories and headed closer in to the Cullen’s land; they had requested that we start keeping our meetings a little closer to home for them.

I tried to block out my brothers thoughts as I simultaneously heard each of them going over their remorse for me; their pity. I didn’t want pity. I growled loudly in my head to warn Quil as he began to play a slideshow that included Jasmine and myself; he was trying to think of where things had gone wrong.

All thoughts redirected immediately as we came upon the meeting place; everybody suddenly super attentive.

The Cullen’s stood in a line; each paired with their mate with the exception of the seer; Alice Jasmine had called her, her stepmother….Edward had even thought to bring Bella, perhaps the brightest part of my day so far. I whimpered a quiet greeting to her as she held her hand out towards me from across the field, not able to move any closer to her since I had to stay at Sam’s side with the rest of the pack.

I watched at the doctor moved forward, being the first to greet us as always. He explained that things would be very different for that particular meeting, being that Jasper was out on some other business. I growled quietly, being silenced by Sam, as my mind quickly ran though the true intentions of Jasper’s absence. I was sure my growl had not gone unnoticed to the Cullen’s, but yet they made no sign of acknowledgement.

I watched as Edward made his way forward, leaving Bella behind him, to act as interpreter for Sam to question Carlilse more on the intentions of the red-headed Victoria. I tried to take in as much new information as possible, becoming more and more aware of just how much had occurred in my absence. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Bella motioning for me and dared so much as to walk slowly over to her while Sam was so engulfed with the doctor.

The blonde female to Bella’s right had given me a disgusted glare as I approached my friend who in return ran her hand through my thick coat.

“How are you doing, Jake?” She whispered, obviously remorse in her voice. Great, she felt bad for me, too.

I whimpered back at her, unable to give her any other sort of response. She nodded back, of course Bella would understand.

I noticed Bella give a quick glance over to Edward, perhaps not as inconspicuous as she would have liked, as she tested to see how engulfed he was in other things at that precise moment. My curiosity struck up at her attempt at secrecy.

“Edward will be hunting tonight,” she began to whisper. “Perhaps you could stop by?”

I noted the urgency in her eyes and was easy to decipher that she had something that she needed to discuss with me. It striked me as a bit odd that Edward would be so comfortable as to leave her side when there was such a threat running about, but perhaps it was finally him showing a little faith in our abilities.

I nudged Bella slightly with my head, my way of telling her that I would be there, and tried my hardest to erase the short conversation from my mind; I couldn’t risk Edward finding out… and I was in a position where he would have easily been able to find it in any of my brother’s minds if I had dwelt on it for too long.