Finding True Love

It’s April 28th…the day before the accident is supposed to happen. I skipped Friday and Saturday, so now today is Monday. Nick told me nothing happened Friday or Saturday, I hung at home…but I hung at home because Joe and I were in a fight about his jealousy toward me and Nick…well that’s what Nick said. He seemed like he wasn’t telling me the whole truth but I shrugged off the feeling, so on Sunday, I made up with him, even if I was right, I wasn’t going to stay mad at him, knowing the day is coming. We went to church that day with the whole Jonas clan, and I prayed to God to have everything turn out the way it‘s supposed to…and then we all went out for brunch. I was trying to take in all of their emotions…how happy they all were…I didn’t want this feeling to leave.

All day today, I was trying my best to act normal around Joe…then when it was just me and Nick, I was so paranoid and he did his best to calm me. Now, I was laying in my bed with Joe right next to me and we were just side by side starring into each others eyes.

“Joe…please be careful tomorrow,” I whispered.

“I’m always careful,” he joked lightly.

“You’re DJ Danger, there’s nothing careful about you,” I said back.

“I’m coming back LJ…before you know it, we’ll be back in this same exact position we’re in…and then when I get back, we’re having that wedding of ours,” he said and I got a feeling in my stomach.

But this time I’m not sure if it was a good feeling or a bad one…wouldn’t it be a good one because I’ve wanted more than anything to marry Joe? But I cant help but feel like it’s not the right thing to do…like there’s something that has to be done…but it doesn’t involve Joe…and I cant help but think of Nick. I have to admit I’ve been having thoughts of Nick lately…was I feeling all of this before the accident?

I push all thoughts out of my head and smile.

“I love you LJ,” he whispered.

“I love you too Joe,” I whispered back and he kissed me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stood in the middle of a gassy field and the sun shined ever so lightly so it was like a sun set. There were trees and flowers and a water fall in the distance. I looked around in awe and then I saw Joe standing in front of me.

“Joe? Where are we?” I asked.

“It’s not very important,” he smiled a smile I would swoon over.

“Joe…I don’t know what’s going on…tomorrow is the day an accident is supposed to happen and…you get hurt…I…” I began to babble but my sobs cut me off.

His embraced surprised me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “Shhh,” he comforted. “I know” he said and my eyes widened. I looked up at him.

“You know?”

“Yes…LJ there’s nothing you can do…it’s going to happen no matter what you do”

“No it cant happen,” I said, shaking my head as I pulled away from him.

“I cant lose you Joe,” I pleaded.

“You already did though…it’s what’s going to happen…” I started to cry.

“Listen to me okay?” he said and I looked up. He wiped my tears away.

“I love you LJ…and I know you love me but you love Nick more”

“What? How could you say that…”

“LJ! Listen…you and Nick have known each other longer than you and I have…”

“But that doesn’t mean any…” he gave me a look.

“Sorry…go on” I mumbled.

But instead of scowling at me, like he would if he was really mad at me…he smiled the smile I loved.

“Everyone knows you and Nick were meant to be…when you two were together, everyone thought you were going to get married…when you broke up, everyone was in shock…and when you came to me and we got together they were even more shocked but wouldn’t doubt it if we got married ourselves…LJ think about it really hard…you cant honestly say you don’t love Nick…you cant say you don’t want to be with him”

“But I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with you! I chose you!” I exaggerated.

“I know you did…but I also know the way Nick looks at you…and I know the way you feel about him…even if you don’t know it,” he said and I didn’t say anything this time because I was afraid the tears would start coming down again.

But I wasn’t just trying to prevent the tears…I was also thinking about what he said…because I think he was right.

“LJ…I want you to get back together with Nick…I don’t want you to go the rest the of your life without anyone to care for you…you need Nick…he loves you more than you could ever know…but he always kept his mouth shut because you were with me…”

“But Joe…” I said as my eyes closed.

“I love you Lilly Jane,” he said in a hushed manner.

My eyes were shut, taking in his scent as he cupped my cheek and placed his lips on mine. But it was different. His scent was different and he usually placed his hand on my neck, not my cheek, and Joe never called me Lilly Jane…someone else did…the kiss was magical though.

When we pulled away, I opened my eyes and saw standing in front of me…was Nick.

“I love you Lilly Jane,” he said again. “I wont let anything happen to you,” he said.

I wanted to believe him, I really did. But the last time he cheated on me with Miley…can I take that risk of getting risk again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you…you never let me explain what really happen…LJ I love you… please,” he pleaded as he grabbed both sides of my face with his hands and put his forehead on mine.

He kissed me again and all of my concerns and worries went away…