My Conscience Called in Sick Again
Oh, Therapy, Can You Please Fill The Void?
“Hey, my name is Eric Wallace and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hi Eric.”
With disbelief I stared around me, ‘Eric Wallace’ was the third that had stand up and said the well familiar words. And here I thought that you just said that in movies and books. Didn’t you thought so too?
My little brother and my mum had forced me to AA- Anonymous Alcoholics. I hated it already, and I had only been here for ten minutes. I can’t wait until it’s over so I can get home and drink.
I didn’t belong here, I didn’t fit in. The people who was here wanted to stop their drinking, I wanted to continue and drink even more then before. I hadn’t been sober for so long time before. Five hours
“Hi, I’m Ted Donovan and I’m an alcoholic.” they guy next to me said and I rolled my eyes with a quiet sigh. Apparently it was my turn next
I wondered what Lee would have thought if he saw me now. Would he be glad because I slowly broke myself down after what I had done towards him or would he be disappointed over me?
Would you hate me?
“Hi Ted.”
Ew, terrible terrible words.
“And, now you are next.” The ‘therapist’ or whatever you called them, Liam Hurley, pointed at me with a pen. “Mr… Rush?”
“Hi, I’m Kevin Rush and I don’t know why the hell I am here.”
Everybody stared at me.
“Ehrm, Mr. Rush. Everybody is here because they have a problem they want to get ride of:” Liam Hurley explained. Did he thought that I didn’t knew that? What did he think, that I was five or something?
“I know that these freaks are here because of their ‘problem’.” I did a wave around me to the alcoholics. “But I don’t think that I have a problem.”
”So you think that your life is perfectly fine?”
I glared at Liam Hurley. Moron.
“My life hasn’t been fine in three years. But that is not because of the booze. It’s because of me.” I answered cold.
“Well Kevin, if you don’t want any help I can’t force you. But your mother and brother would really prefer that you at least stayed the session out.”
I shrugged my shoulders but stayed put. I could as well hear these morons pathetic excuses to drink.
---
“The most people that get forced to come here at least pretend to want to change.”
The damn AA meeting was over and I was about to take on my jacket when I noticed that it was to me someone was talking.
I looked up just to see a smiling Liam Hurley, the therapist. What did you call them actually?
“If I don’t want to change or think that I have to change I don’t have to pretend that I want to either.” I explained and zipped up my jacket. “I won’t comeback here next time, just so you know.”
“I could have guessed that.” He smiled again. “Are you doing somewhere special now?”
“Except going home and get drunk? No.”
He laughed and tilted his head to the side. The motion made me freeze. That was what Lee had used to do.
“You want to get out and take a coffee with me instead? The tomorrow may end up better in that case then lying and throw up in the bathroom with a headache.” he suggested.
I agreed.
This was just the continue on an already existing nightmare.
“Hi Eric.”
With disbelief I stared around me, ‘Eric Wallace’ was the third that had stand up and said the well familiar words. And here I thought that you just said that in movies and books. Didn’t you thought so too?
My little brother and my mum had forced me to AA- Anonymous Alcoholics. I hated it already, and I had only been here for ten minutes. I can’t wait until it’s over so I can get home and drink.
I didn’t belong here, I didn’t fit in. The people who was here wanted to stop their drinking, I wanted to continue and drink even more then before. I hadn’t been sober for so long time before. Five hours
“Hi, I’m Ted Donovan and I’m an alcoholic.” they guy next to me said and I rolled my eyes with a quiet sigh. Apparently it was my turn next
I wondered what Lee would have thought if he saw me now. Would he be glad because I slowly broke myself down after what I had done towards him or would he be disappointed over me?
Would you hate me?
“Hi Ted.”
Ew, terrible terrible words.
“And, now you are next.” The ‘therapist’ or whatever you called them, Liam Hurley, pointed at me with a pen. “Mr… Rush?”
“Hi, I’m Kevin Rush and I don’t know why the hell I am here.”
Everybody stared at me.
“Ehrm, Mr. Rush. Everybody is here because they have a problem they want to get ride of:” Liam Hurley explained. Did he thought that I didn’t knew that? What did he think, that I was five or something?
“I know that these freaks are here because of their ‘problem’.” I did a wave around me to the alcoholics. “But I don’t think that I have a problem.”
”So you think that your life is perfectly fine?”
I glared at Liam Hurley. Moron.
“My life hasn’t been fine in three years. But that is not because of the booze. It’s because of me.” I answered cold.
“Well Kevin, if you don’t want any help I can’t force you. But your mother and brother would really prefer that you at least stayed the session out.”
I shrugged my shoulders but stayed put. I could as well hear these morons pathetic excuses to drink.
---
“The most people that get forced to come here at least pretend to want to change.”
The damn AA meeting was over and I was about to take on my jacket when I noticed that it was to me someone was talking.
I looked up just to see a smiling Liam Hurley, the therapist. What did you call them actually?
“If I don’t want to change or think that I have to change I don’t have to pretend that I want to either.” I explained and zipped up my jacket. “I won’t comeback here next time, just so you know.”
“I could have guessed that.” He smiled again. “Are you doing somewhere special now?”
“Except going home and get drunk? No.”
He laughed and tilted his head to the side. The motion made me freeze. That was what Lee had used to do.
“You want to get out and take a coffee with me instead? The tomorrow may end up better in that case then lying and throw up in the bathroom with a headache.” he suggested.
I agreed.
This was just the continue on an already existing nightmare.