A Little Piece of Heaven

December 29, 2007 6:40 p.m.
I don't really see the point of keeping a journal. Unless of course you count the fact that Doctor Stevens (the only person who will ever see this) told me that I must or else I would be put in an institution. Hmpf, an institution of all things. People only think I'm crazy, but let me assure you doctor that I am far from it.
Anyway, I was told to chart all my feelings and actions over the course of the day. So let me begin. Early this morning I decided that I would finally pop the question. I went out and bought my darling Annabel a gift to last a life time. She will love it, I know she will. She always loves fancy things that make the angels above so jealous. And believe me, when I have the money I have no problems getting them for her; I do love her so.
Damian Moore

Damian fiddled with the diamond ring nervously waiting for the love of his life to come back from the bathroom. Tonight was the night he was going to make the 14 years they'd been together worthwhile. He'd been dreaming about it for so long but now he felt every muscle in his back tense up with apprehension. He rolled his shoulders back, leaned into the chair and tilted his head upwards hoping to calm himself. There was no reason he should be on edge, the worst that could happen was that she would say no. He doubted she would say that, she looked about ready to be committed to him.

Finally after what seemed like forever, she emerged from the bathroom and returned to the table. Annabel was the reflection of heaven itself, with her golden locks falling about her shoulders in a halo, her lips full, her cheeks rosy, her eyes bright and her smile radiating. "Sorry I took so long. I had to fix my makeup," she said softly. Her long lashes brushed her cheek swiftly as she blinked and looked up again taking in the restaurant. "This place is beautiful. I can't believe I didn't know about this place before."

"I knew you'd like it," Damian agreed smiling. It was just the type of place Annabel would like; classy, sophisticated and romantic.

Annabel picked up a menu and flicked through it. "I have no idea what to get, everything sounds so good. What's the occasion anyway?" She peeked over the top of the menu playfully. One of the many things about her that Damian adored, she still could act like she had been 14 years ago through all of the stress that had been distancing them these past three months.

Damian waved down a waiter who rushed over, "Can we have a bottle of your finest wine?"

"Of course Mr. Moore. Right away." The waiter rushed away again and Damian looked over at Annabel. She looked stunned.

"Hun, can we afford that? That bottle is almost $300.00!"

"I know but today is special." Damian replied calmly.

Annabel sighed heavily and continued perusing the menu, "What I want to know is why today is special. You haven't told me anything at all."

The waiter came back carrying two wine glasses and a tin of ice in which the bottle rested\n a silver tray. "Your champagne sir. It's much better than the wine," he said winking at Damian knowingly.

"Thank you."

"Are you ready to order sir, madam?" The waiter asked politely.

Damian looked over at Annabel and saw her brow over the top of the menu furrowed in consternation. "I think we need a few more minutes, thank you."

"All right then, call me when you're ready." The waiter said bowing then he walked away to serve another couple.

Damian picked up his own menu and randomly picked out a plate. It was a habit of his never to be too concerned about what he ate as long as it wasn't poisonous. It came in handy at times; he never got tired of his favorite foods, never had to worry about what he was going to eat and he got to try new foods. It also left his mind free to think about other things, such as Annabel's lack of memory. "You don't remember what today is?"

"It's December 29; should I remember anything else about today?" Annabel answered with a pout.
"Bells, today is our anniversary. 14 years ago, today we went on our first date." Damian reminded her patiently.

Annabel looked up, putting her menu down and put her elbows on her table. "Oh my God, Damian I am so sorry. I completely forgot I didn't even get you anything." She put her head into her upturned hands and stared down at the table miserably.

Damian reached over to her and lifted her head up gently with his fingers on her chin. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then her lips easily. "It's alright. I'm not mad at you, and you know I always tell you not to get me anything anyway."

"It's not ok at all. I've been so busy lately with work and...Oh my God, I feel like a complete ass."
He pulled away from her and turned his head away so she wouldn't see his frown. He hadn't wanted her to feel bad, but lately that's all that's been happening. But there was a way he could compensate for that.

"Oh my God..." Annabel had finally raised her head up and was looking towards the door.
Damian faced her again confused, "What's up?"

"What are the chances that my boss shows up here tonight? The one night that he said I must absolutely not miss, he waltzes in. Jesus I wish there were a way to get out of here without being seen. I am so getting fired." Annabel whimpered.

"Relax Bells, nothing is going to happen. He's not even looking this way." Damian waved the waiter over again, determined to have something that resembled the romantic evening he had planned. "I think we're ready to order."

"Okay sir, what would you like?"

"I'll have a Gnocchi Alla Basilica and she'll have...what do you want to eat Bells?"

Annabel shrugged, "I guess this sounds ok."

Damian peered down at her menu to where she was pointing, "And a Penne Alla Vodka with grilled chicken." He smiled slightly as he handed the waiter back the menus.

"Good choices. You're dinner should be done in a few minutes. Would you like anything while you wait?"

"Bread would be good."

"Very well sir. I'll be right back with the bread." The waiter left again and Annabel sighed as she watched him leave.

"I should've ordered something else." She turned to Damian again, "Can you pour me something to drink, Hun?" Damian reached for the glasses then took the champagne and popped the cork. Annabel smiled sadly as the champagne bubbled out and he poured her a decent measure of the amber liquid.
"Thanks babe."

"No problem."

Annabel's eyes roamed the restaurant distantly as she sipped from the glass that Damian had handed her. Her gaze finally settled on something behind him but he didn't turn to see what it was. He was afraid that it might be something he didn't want to know about. "So we came all the way to Manhattan for our anniversary. That's it?" She finally said more to break the silence than to actually mean something.

"Does there need to be any other reason?" Damian asked with a smirk.

"With you yes. You never do anything for only one purpose and I mean really, last year we went to see a movie and the year before that we stayed at home and watched CSI all night long." Annabel laughed remembering this. "That was so lame. But you've outdone yourself."

"Gee thanks; it means a lot coming from you." Damian said laughing.

He reached into his pocket to make sure the ring was still there. It was; the tiny velvet box brushed his skin. But it wasn't the right time to give it to her yet. They had to eat first and then he had to make sure...just to be certain that nothing was going to go wrong. It had been so long that they'd been together he wanted everything to be perfect. That's all he wanted. A perfect night with the only woman he loved and only woman he ever would love. And more importantly he didn't want to feel this nagging doubt that played in the back of his mind. "Annabel..."

"Mmm?"

Damian fidgeted some more and Annabel looked up expectantly. "You know I love you right?" She nodded and smiled, "You're the whole world to me and without you in my life I'd be nothing. I want you to be with..."

Annabel held out her hand to stop him, her angelic smile sliding from her face. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. About us." She heaved a sigh and continued seeming to struggle for the right words. "It's not easy being around. With all that's been going on; my parent's dying, the lawsuit, you're problem," she looked up at him apologetically, knowing that he hated it when she even brought that up. "It's not your fault I know, but I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I was planning to stay until the new year, but I think I know what you're going to do."

Damian couldn't speak. Years ago this would have killed him, but all he felt now was his heart drop into his core leaving an empty void. She couldn't leave him now, not when he was about to make her a permanent part of his life. What had he done to deserve this?

"I'm sorry Damian. I really am but I can't stay with you. I've been looking for an apartment and I found one, it'll be ready for me after the first."

He stood quiet, unwilling to let his words finalize the separation from his darling Annabel. The waiter came back and they ate in silence. They left in the same manner that they had eaten, Damian keeping his distance from Annabel and Annabel glancing at him from time to time in despair. Finally, they reached their house, a nice house near Manhattan Beach. Damian turned off the car's engine, got out, opened the house's front door and went in leaving the door open behind him.

Annabel hurried after him into the darkness of their home and shut the door. The kitchen light at the end of the long hallway flicked on and she saw his silhouette pacing behind the kitchen's island. She went to the kitchen and leaned against the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway. "Don't hold it in Damian. I know you're mad at me; it's not good to hold in your anger. Maybe you should write it down in the journal if it will help. Doctor Stevens said that it..." She trailed off when she saw that he was not responding.

She walked over to him slowly and laid her hand gently on his arm. He shrugged it off angrily and walked away to the sink where he leaned over and stared at his reflection, he mind going over the ways to keep her there. As if she knew what he was thinking, she moved away and said softly, "You can't keep me here. Damian, I love you and always will but I'm not in love with you anymore. I need to leave and be on my own for awhile. Maybe I'll come back, maybe I won't. But I do know one thing Damian. I can't be here anymore and nothing you say can change that."

"I was going to propose to you tonight," Damian murmured finally.

Annabel nodded slowly, "I know, I'm sorry. That's why I had to stop you, it would've hurt more."

"Hurts just the same." He said shaking his head his voice was flat and emotionless.

"I'm so sorry Damian. I really am."

Damian shook his head sadly, "No you're not. If you were you wouldn't be leaving me. You would stay with me until death do us part."

"We're not married Damian. I'm not obligated to stay with you that long." Annabel argued.
"We promised each other that we'd be together forever through thick and thin." Damian said ignoring her completely.

"We were in the ninth grade when I said that, 11 years ago. Jesus Damian, times change and we need to grow up. That's what's wrong with this relationship. It's based on puppy love, I need something more. Something more grown up!"

"What's childish about our love?!" Damian said his hand clenched around something, ready to fling whatever it was at the wall or anything else in his path.

"You are! Damian, the only thing that you've got going for you right now is a clean ticket to an asylum! I need someone to take care of me in every way and you can't!"

He flung the thing clenched in his hand and it flew in a straight path. He watched, fury pulsing through every vein in his body and spreading with every beat of his heart. He wrenched the knife from where it was lodged and stabbed it repeatedly into the surface it had buried itself. Annabel screamed and then her body went limp as he drove the blood stained knife into her heart.

He stopped, panting heavily and went to the stove, turned it on high then hurried to the refrigerator. 10 minutes later he stood in front of the island and ate eggs made over easy, Annabel's favorite breakfast. Usually he would eat it with her, and in a way he was eating it with her. He stared down the other side of the island where her body lay bleeding and lifeless. Eventually he noticed that the bleeding stopped and he put the empty plate in the sink.

Damian walked over to the corpse, picked it up and made his way upstairs and into the bathroom and took off her clothes. He filled the tub and placed her in it, gently cleaning her of the blood that had stained most of her body. When she was free of all traces of blood he emptied the tub, dried her off, took her to the bedroom and redressed her then laid her down to rest where she always slept.
In a daze he made his way back to the kitchen and cleaned it up.

December 30, 2007 1:07 a.m.

You wanted to know everything I did and felt so I'll tell you. I loved her and always will but the angels in heaven were jealous and sent a cloud to chill the heart of my darling Annabel. What else was I to do? She is mine and always will be...

After I did all that I could honestly say she has never been a better mate. There was no screams, no resistance, no scratching. She did say she wanted a 'grown-up' relationship so I gave it to her. As good as I could get and I have never been so deep in. Lucky for me I get to do it again and again, just like she wanted. My darling Annabel. I do love her so...

"I assure you Your Honor there is no doubt in my mind that this man shouldn't be allowed on the streets again but jail is not the answer. We have seen the evidence presented by the prosecutors themselves and have heard the testimonies of Doctor Stevens and even the testimony of Damian Moore himself. If there is any doubt of the mental state that this man is in then that person should have themselves psychologically evaluated. I propose that instead of life in jail, we switch the sentence to an asylum, his release pending a positive evaluation."

"How does the jury find the defendant?"

"The jury finds the defendant, Damian Moore, innocent of all charges on reason of insanity."

"Fine, Damian Moore you are to serve your time in Binghamton State Hospital pending a positive evaluation from Doctor Stevens. Case dismissed." Three loud booms from the judge's heavy wood hammer and Damian was led away down a hall by two armed officers and placed in a cell for a few hours unaware that anything had changed.

Doctor Stevens appeared at the cell's gate and knocked on it to get Damian's attention. Damian glanced up and smiled wickedly. "What's up Doc?"

"Not funny Damian. I just came to give you this back. I want you to keep writing in it, I thought you were making a progress." Damian took the notebook from Doctor Stevens' hand and nodded.
"Whatever makes you happy."

"It's not going to make you happy but you might be able to come to your senses while writing down your experiences at the asylum."

Damian didn't reply so sighing, Doctor Stevens left the temporary prison. Damian on the other hand didn't leave for three more hours by which time a truck had arrived to take him to Binghamton.

January 28, 2008 12:45 p.m.

Hello once more Doc. It's good to know you still come to visit me. I got another visitor yesterday. First one in a really long time other than you. You'd be surprised to know it was my darling Annabel come back to me. She was very happy as you can imagine, laughing and the such. But I knew I had to apologize. All this time here I had realized the error of my ways and from the deepest most sincerest part of my soul I told her of my regrets. It was enough I think...but in a way I knew it wasn't enough. I had to marry her. I did. It was a beautiful event, she wore a wedding dress of obsidian, and her veil shadowed her ghostly face. She always was gorgeous.

You see the angels were not half so happy in heaven and they envied the love we shared. That's why they chilled her and killed her. But what you must see is that we have a love that is stronger than any love yet seen and nothing can separate my soul from that of my life, my love, my darling Annabel.

"Do they know how he died?" Doctor Stevens asked another psychiatrist as they lowered the coffin into the ground.

"Stabbed himself by the looks of it. Don't know how he did it, but he did."

Doctor Stevens sighed, "How many times?"

"Fifty. That's what I don't understand, but then again there's no other explanation. No one was in the room with him when it happened, and he hadn't come out for dinner the night before. So it had to be him that did it, but Dammit, fifty times."

"He stabbed his girlfriend fifty times."

The other psychiatrist desperate for an answer looked up intrigued. "Did he? Maybe that's why he did it. Maybe he needed that closure and kept on doing it until he had the same number of wounds."

"Possibly."

The coffin was covered with fresh dirt and a tombstone was placed over the grave. Engraved into the stone were two simple words, Damian Moore. No one would remember who it was in a couple of years except maybe Doctor Stevens. The doctor looked opened the notebook to the last entry again perplexed, January 27. That was the last entry. Such a shame, he had the potential of making a full recovery. The doctor leaned the notebook against the tombstone before walking away and never looking back