You'll Never Lose When I'm Around

It had been a week since Allison had disappeared. The only contact any of us had had with her was a text to Sisky telling him she was alright and hadn’t been kidnapped. I was torn up to say the least. I liked her a lot; one could almost say I was in love with her. Having her just take off and leave without so much as saying good-bye was like a nice kick to the stomach. She had really made me believe she had felt something for me, and then she just took off.

Sisky had forced me to get out of my bunk and into the back of the bus with everyone to watch Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans. I wasn’t paying any attention to the movie. I wanted to be alone in my bunk, wallowing in self-pity and heartache. For which Chizzy poked fun at me, and said I was taking this too hard. I thought I was taking this perfectly fine. I was only leaving my bunk to go on stage and use the washroom. Only opening my mouth to sing and put food in it.

“Bill?” Sisky snapped his fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I simply looked at him to show I was listening.

He sighed and shook his head, “this isn’t healthy, Dude. We all know how you felt for Allison, but… I mean… you didn’t even know her long enough to be reacting like this to her being gone-“

I shot him a glare and stopped him mid sentence. I got up and walked back to my bunk. Who was he to tell me that I didn’t know her long enough to feel as miserable as I do?

My bed was a complete mess -which was fitting. I pulled off my pillows and blankets and dropped them on the floor. I fixed the sheets and started remaking my bed. As I reached down to grab my last pillow I noticed a folded piece of paper next to my feet. Tossing the pillow onto the bed, I picked up the folded paper and sat on my bed. How could I have not noticed this before? I opened it up and almost instantly regretted it. The paper was tear stained and some of the ink had run, but I could still read what it said. It was from Allison, explaining that she had to leave and that I deserved better then her.

I sat and reread the note five more times before it really sunk in. I wasn’t feeling sad anymore, it was something else I was feeling. I was angry, no, I was pissed! This whole note was both ridicules and childish. Who breaks up with someone with a note then runs away?

I clenched my fists, crumpling up the letter. To think I was starting to feel so deeply for her that I was going to tell her about Genevieve. I trusted her that much. It was suddenly occurring to me that Allison had obviously just used me to get her ten minutes of fame in the music business. It was a good think I hadn’t told her about Genevieve; Allison probably would have sold that story to a magazine for a few bucks. And that was the last thing my daughter and I needed, a bunch of fans getting pissed and bitching about her, and how it wasn’t fair that I had a child that isn’t theirs.

I needed to get off of this bus. I got up and grabbed some clothes from my suitcase. Once dressed, I walked to the back of the bus once again. The guys stopped their conversation when I appeared in the doorway. They had been talking about me, but I couldn’t have cared less at the moment. I simply tossed the note on Butchers lap and left.