Cancer
Chapter 1.- The Hardest Part of This, Is Leaving U
Hey!...Hello ^^ this is my first history published in this page, and also this is my first history in "English" (my original language is the -"Spanish"- so, sorry for the bad orthography in somethings notes -_-U)...a friend my makes me a favour to translation this fic, I really proud of this, so much that decided that American people, lover of the Frerard have that to read it [ 6///6 I should add that it was a "hit" amoung the Frerardians community of hipanic speech 9///9 (Frerardians=fans of Frerard XDDD)]; because was created whit all my love to my favorite couple in the fucking world...of my favorite band "My Chemical Romance", and they are: "Frank and Gerard" [Obvious!!] (@.@ Waaaa, I love them, love them @/@!...I'm really, really fan of Frerard *w*).
So, I hope you like!!!, please reviews!!!
The version original is in "Slasheaven, El pairaiso Slash en Español" (Slasheaven, The Paradise Slash in Spanish)
Cancer
Author: Sora
Chapter 1.- The Hardest Part of This, Is Leaving You
It all started when it was ending for me…I couldn’t believe it, but I could hide it.
Why? …Why when life had finally life had smiled at me, it turned its back on me? …Why did it have to be now, when I ‘was’ happy? …Why now that I was loved and I could love? …WHY, DAMN IT! WHY??
I had to find a way to tell him…to tell them.
I was seated at the edge of my bed, in the hotel room we were staying at; I had my elbows against my knees and I was holding my head between my hands…I stared at the floor, searching for the way to end it with him. Numerous tears fell to the floor, staining the carpet and I started to sob when I imagined trying to leave him…I couldn’t, I didn’t want to.
“Grrr…DAMN IT!” I yelled, trying to get rid of some of my pain…but it only got worse.
I got up and started to pace like a mad man, I ran a hand through my hair, I bit my nails, I rubbed my face…I had to accept it. I would die and nothing would stop it.
Toc Toc
“Gerard! Gerard! Are you there? Open up!” It was him! I didn’t want to see him, he couldn’t see me…I kept silent. “Love? …I want to know how are you? Please, open up!”
His last sentences got me more sensitive and I started to cry loudly. I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the sound, but I couldn’t and as if it were a waterfall, my eyes completely soaked my face.
Leave! Please…leave! Get out of here and leave me alone, I begged in my mind, shutting my eyes tight.
Silence.
He had left.
I leaned by back against the wall, still crying, and I slid slowly until I was seating on the floor…it hurt, I felt as if they were tearing me inside, it burned.
Tomorrow would be a difficult day for me…I would have to leave him; I would die and I wouldn’t see him, I wouldn’t touch him and I wouldn’t kiss him ever again.
Without knowing how, I fell asleep.
Next morning, I got up early and left the hotel so as not to cross my ways with him…today everything would change.
I was going to see a friend.
Before leaving, getting out of the shower, while I brushed my hair, I knew I had to do something so he wouldn’t notice my suffering.
I rang the doorbell and a white face and a friendly smile received me.
“Hello Gerard!”
“Elise!” I barely let out a fake smile.
“Are you sure, Gerard?” she asked me, puzzled. She was looking at me from the sofa that was across from me.
“Yes…it’s for the best,” I answered her, presenting her a slight sad smile. I sipped the coffee she had offered me just minutes before.
I was on my way back to the hotel when my cell phone rang…it had rung before (all morning); it was him…I couldn’t keep avoiding him, I had to face him.
“Hi?”
“Gee? Love! Why didn’t you answer?” My heart clenched upon hearing his words and new tears were fighting to pour out of my eyes.
“I’m—I’m sorry, I hadn’t heard it,” my voice was cold and without emotion. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?! Gee, after you left my bedroom I didn’t know anything about you…you didn’t even show up for practice! And you still ask what’s up? …Where were you yesterday? I went to look for you to your room, but you weren’t there…and where are you now?”
I listened attentively to him. ‘What’s up?’ had been a very stupid question from my part, and everything he was saying, made total sense.
I remembered spilling many silent tears, and I ran my tongue over my parched lips…I had received a call from the clinic I had sent some medical exams…I had passed out in one of the concerts and Mikey demanded that I go see a doctor. Frank had also asked me to…but in a very different way.
Flashback
“Gee?” Frank got closer to Gerard, sitting beside him. He smiled at him and then hugged him from his side, resting his head on his shoulder after giving him a small peck on the cheek.
“Hmm?” Was the only sound Gerard made. He took a drag from his cigarette as he felt how his heart beat strongly upon feeling Frank’s warmth envelop his body.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes, I’m perfectly fine! Stop worrying, Frank.” Gerard abandoned his cigarette and hugged Frank, giving him a light kiss on the top of his head. “I love you.”
Frank smiled, tightening his hold on Gerard…he was so sweet when they were alone, he didn’t care nobody knew about them, he didn’t care their love was a secret…he was used to it.
“I’m worried for you…to faint during a concert is not normal, you know? …Well, it was normal before, but not now…Mikey’s right, you should go and run some tests. Nothing bad can happen…”
“Kiss me!” Gerard interrupted, exhaling the smoke in a sexy manner.
“I’ll kiss you if you’ll go and see a doctor…” Frank turned to see him with a playful smile on his lips.
“Okay…” Gerard leaned in, brushing his lips against Frank’s, inhaling his smell. It was true…he loved him, he had loved him before, but he hadn’t found the way to tell him until that night after a concert…he wasn’t to go into detail…you’ll know about it later, right now he just wanted to lose himself in Frank’s lips, stop existing upon feeling his tongue, get intoxicated with his taste, feel alive and ‘happy’, enjoying the love that had been denied for such a long time. “Do you love me?”
Frank stared him in the eye. Why was he asking that? Of course he loved him! If he didn’t, he would’ve never risked kissing him during concerts, caressing him in public or suddenly hugging him…or simply being the way he was with him.
He leaned, cutting the distance between them, to kiss Gerard briefly and look into his eyes.
“I would give my whole life for you.” Frank caressed Gerard’s cheek. “I love you so much you’ve don’t have a damn idea! I don’t know what my life would be without you…I’d die, maybe!”
“Don’t say that!” Gerard’s heart clenched at the thought of a whole life without him. “You know? I think I can imagine what you feel for me is, because I feel it too. I don’t know how to explain what happens inside every time I see you, that you’re with me and you make me laugh or when I kiss you, when you hug me or when we make love. It goes beyond some words, it’s bigger than feeling.”
“Aww Gerard! You’re gonna make me cry!”
“No, don’t cry! Just kiss me,” the long-haired guy asked almost childishly with a smile, leaning in to Frank, looking for his lips.
Their lips came together in a fun kiss at first, but it quickly changed into lazy, loving, sweet.
“So, I’ll go to the doctor, ok?”
“Now?”
“Yes, I want to spend the rest of my day with you.”
Next day they called Gerard, telling him they had the results of his analysis and when he had them in his hand, he realized he didn’t have much lifetime left.
End Flashback
“I’m…I’m on my way to the hotel, I went…I’m coming from Elise’s,” I said with my voice about to break. At that time, I already had my face covered in tears and he was painfully grateful that Frank couldn’t see him.
“Elise? The stylist girl? What for?”
“Frank? Are you in your bedroom?”
“Yes, why?”
I distanced the cell phone for a few moments and I sighed, trying to calm myself down. I cleaned some of the tears from my face, rubbing my left cheek red, just underneath the eye.
“Because…” I smiled, another tear sliding down my face. “I want to be with you!”
“I’m dying for you to be here!” Frank told me with his cheerful voice, ignoring what was happening.
I smiled sadly, letting more tears escape and I stopped the car, parking it.
“I miss you so much Gerard. I love you,” he told me, wounding me. Now my tears were like a faucet that had been opened to the top.
“Me—me too!” I don’t know what I did so my voice could stay firm, I didn’t want to worry Frank. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, trying to control myself. Several silent tears continued their way. “I wanna make love to you…” Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! “I love you Frank, I love you so much…I’ll see you in 25 minutes. I love you, bye!” I hang up on him without giving him the opportunity to tell me he loved me too.
I leaned my head against the driving wheel, crying.
“I don’t want to die…I don’t want to leave you Frank. I don’t want to.”
To be Continued...
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
And?, and?...do you like?? OwO, I hope so!!.....people please!, our reviews very important for me!!...POST MEEEE!! X-0
And thanks for read it!.
See you Around!!.
Atte. Sora^^
So, I hope you like!!!, please reviews!!!
The version original is in "Slasheaven, El pairaiso Slash en Español" (Slasheaven, The Paradise Slash in Spanish)
Cancer
Author: Sora
Chapter 1.- The Hardest Part of This, Is Leaving You
It all started when it was ending for me…I couldn’t believe it, but I could hide it.
Why? …Why when life had finally life had smiled at me, it turned its back on me? …Why did it have to be now, when I ‘was’ happy? …Why now that I was loved and I could love? …WHY, DAMN IT! WHY??
I had to find a way to tell him…to tell them.
I was seated at the edge of my bed, in the hotel room we were staying at; I had my elbows against my knees and I was holding my head between my hands…I stared at the floor, searching for the way to end it with him. Numerous tears fell to the floor, staining the carpet and I started to sob when I imagined trying to leave him…I couldn’t, I didn’t want to.
“Grrr…DAMN IT!” I yelled, trying to get rid of some of my pain…but it only got worse.
I got up and started to pace like a mad man, I ran a hand through my hair, I bit my nails, I rubbed my face…I had to accept it. I would die and nothing would stop it.
Toc Toc
“Gerard! Gerard! Are you there? Open up!” It was him! I didn’t want to see him, he couldn’t see me…I kept silent. “Love? …I want to know how are you? Please, open up!”
His last sentences got me more sensitive and I started to cry loudly. I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the sound, but I couldn’t and as if it were a waterfall, my eyes completely soaked my face.
Leave! Please…leave! Get out of here and leave me alone, I begged in my mind, shutting my eyes tight.
Silence.
He had left.
I leaned by back against the wall, still crying, and I slid slowly until I was seating on the floor…it hurt, I felt as if they were tearing me inside, it burned.
Tomorrow would be a difficult day for me…I would have to leave him; I would die and I wouldn’t see him, I wouldn’t touch him and I wouldn’t kiss him ever again.
Without knowing how, I fell asleep.
Next morning, I got up early and left the hotel so as not to cross my ways with him…today everything would change.
I was going to see a friend.
Before leaving, getting out of the shower, while I brushed my hair, I knew I had to do something so he wouldn’t notice my suffering.
I rang the doorbell and a white face and a friendly smile received me.
“Hello Gerard!”
“Elise!” I barely let out a fake smile.
“Are you sure, Gerard?” she asked me, puzzled. She was looking at me from the sofa that was across from me.
“Yes…it’s for the best,” I answered her, presenting her a slight sad smile. I sipped the coffee she had offered me just minutes before.
I was on my way back to the hotel when my cell phone rang…it had rung before (all morning); it was him…I couldn’t keep avoiding him, I had to face him.
“Hi?”
“Gee? Love! Why didn’t you answer?” My heart clenched upon hearing his words and new tears were fighting to pour out of my eyes.
“I’m—I’m sorry, I hadn’t heard it,” my voice was cold and without emotion. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?! Gee, after you left my bedroom I didn’t know anything about you…you didn’t even show up for practice! And you still ask what’s up? …Where were you yesterday? I went to look for you to your room, but you weren’t there…and where are you now?”
I listened attentively to him. ‘What’s up?’ had been a very stupid question from my part, and everything he was saying, made total sense.
I remembered spilling many silent tears, and I ran my tongue over my parched lips…I had received a call from the clinic I had sent some medical exams…I had passed out in one of the concerts and Mikey demanded that I go see a doctor. Frank had also asked me to…but in a very different way.
Flashback
“Gee?” Frank got closer to Gerard, sitting beside him. He smiled at him and then hugged him from his side, resting his head on his shoulder after giving him a small peck on the cheek.
“Hmm?” Was the only sound Gerard made. He took a drag from his cigarette as he felt how his heart beat strongly upon feeling Frank’s warmth envelop his body.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes, I’m perfectly fine! Stop worrying, Frank.” Gerard abandoned his cigarette and hugged Frank, giving him a light kiss on the top of his head. “I love you.”
Frank smiled, tightening his hold on Gerard…he was so sweet when they were alone, he didn’t care nobody knew about them, he didn’t care their love was a secret…he was used to it.
“I’m worried for you…to faint during a concert is not normal, you know? …Well, it was normal before, but not now…Mikey’s right, you should go and run some tests. Nothing bad can happen…”
“Kiss me!” Gerard interrupted, exhaling the smoke in a sexy manner.
“I’ll kiss you if you’ll go and see a doctor…” Frank turned to see him with a playful smile on his lips.
“Okay…” Gerard leaned in, brushing his lips against Frank’s, inhaling his smell. It was true…he loved him, he had loved him before, but he hadn’t found the way to tell him until that night after a concert…he wasn’t to go into detail…you’ll know about it later, right now he just wanted to lose himself in Frank’s lips, stop existing upon feeling his tongue, get intoxicated with his taste, feel alive and ‘happy’, enjoying the love that had been denied for such a long time. “Do you love me?”
Frank stared him in the eye. Why was he asking that? Of course he loved him! If he didn’t, he would’ve never risked kissing him during concerts, caressing him in public or suddenly hugging him…or simply being the way he was with him.
He leaned, cutting the distance between them, to kiss Gerard briefly and look into his eyes.
“I would give my whole life for you.” Frank caressed Gerard’s cheek. “I love you so much you’ve don’t have a damn idea! I don’t know what my life would be without you…I’d die, maybe!”
“Don’t say that!” Gerard’s heart clenched at the thought of a whole life without him. “You know? I think I can imagine what you feel for me is, because I feel it too. I don’t know how to explain what happens inside every time I see you, that you’re with me and you make me laugh or when I kiss you, when you hug me or when we make love. It goes beyond some words, it’s bigger than feeling.”
“Aww Gerard! You’re gonna make me cry!”
“No, don’t cry! Just kiss me,” the long-haired guy asked almost childishly with a smile, leaning in to Frank, looking for his lips.
Their lips came together in a fun kiss at first, but it quickly changed into lazy, loving, sweet.
“So, I’ll go to the doctor, ok?”
“Now?”
“Yes, I want to spend the rest of my day with you.”
Next day they called Gerard, telling him they had the results of his analysis and when he had them in his hand, he realized he didn’t have much lifetime left.
End Flashback
“I’m…I’m on my way to the hotel, I went…I’m coming from Elise’s,” I said with my voice about to break. At that time, I already had my face covered in tears and he was painfully grateful that Frank couldn’t see him.
“Elise? The stylist girl? What for?”
“Frank? Are you in your bedroom?”
“Yes, why?”
I distanced the cell phone for a few moments and I sighed, trying to calm myself down. I cleaned some of the tears from my face, rubbing my left cheek red, just underneath the eye.
“Because…” I smiled, another tear sliding down my face. “I want to be with you!”
“I’m dying for you to be here!” Frank told me with his cheerful voice, ignoring what was happening.
I smiled sadly, letting more tears escape and I stopped the car, parking it.
“I miss you so much Gerard. I love you,” he told me, wounding me. Now my tears were like a faucet that had been opened to the top.
“Me—me too!” I don’t know what I did so my voice could stay firm, I didn’t want to worry Frank. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, trying to control myself. Several silent tears continued their way. “I wanna make love to you…” Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! “I love you Frank, I love you so much…I’ll see you in 25 minutes. I love you, bye!” I hang up on him without giving him the opportunity to tell me he loved me too.
I leaned my head against the driving wheel, crying.
“I don’t want to die…I don’t want to leave you Frank. I don’t want to.”
To be Continued...
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
And?, and?...do you like?? OwO, I hope so!!.....people please!, our reviews very important for me!!...POST MEEEE!! X-0
And thanks for read it!.
See you Around!!.
Atte. Sora^^