How Can You Look at Me and Say That You Don't Love Me?

Gustav’s POV

Mike, John, and I sat in our hotel room, playing cards, bored as hell. It was all we could do. We couldn’t watch TV, because it was all in Finnish. Mike threw down his deck and stood up.
“Fucking hell, I’m bored!” he exclaimed.
“What are we supposed to do?” John said.
“Yeah, we’re in Finland. TV is too confusing.” I said.
Mike threw his and up and kicked the chair over. “We could go out!” he said.
“And do what?” I asked.
“I don’t care! We never do anything but play fucking cards!” he said.
John opened his mouth to speak, but Mike wasn’t finished with his rant. “I’m sick of being in the back! Everyone else is out having fun, and we are here.” He continued. “I want to see some action!”
“He’s right. Totally right.” John said.
“Where should we go?” I asked after a moment’s thought.
“ANYWHERE!” Mike said.
“Alright, lets go have a guy’s night out.” I said.
“Yippee.” John said, unenthused.
Mike sighed. “Thank you!” he said.
We all stood up and left the hotel, and walked into the nearest bar we saw. Mike ordered drinks for all of us.
“To friends and our music.” He said. And we drank. After a couple more rounds, we saw a couple of guys approach us. I recognized one of them as Ville Valo. The other one, I did not know.
“Hey,” Ville said. “What’re you guys doing here?” His friend stood there, looking completely bored.
“Ville, let’s get out of here. I’m only in town for a few more days!” His aggravated friend said.
“Bam, hold on. I know these guys.” Ville said patiently.
John looked at the guy called Bam and gasped his name. “Bam Margera.” He said.
“Who?” I asked.
Bam sighed. “Where are my manners?” he said. “I’m Bam.”
“Gustav.” I said.
Ville and Bam asked if they could join us and we agreed. After a few more rounds, we were all getting a little drunk. After five more rounds, we were wasted.
Bam stood up and swayed slightly. “I wanna go and do something fun!” He said.
Ville nodded and said. “Like what?”
Mike stood as well. “Let’s ice skate!” Bam agreed and slapped him a high-five as John and I exchanged terrified looks. Drunken ice-staking?

We stumbled our way to the nearest rink. After getting our skates, we slide on to the floor. Bam fell immediately on his ass and Mike did the same when he started laughing. John made an attempt to make it around the floor, but only got half way around before knocking into another person. Ville was doing a smooth job of not falling flat on his behind. I, however, was not so successful. I fell the moment my foot hit the ice. Bam stumble-skated towards me and offered me a hand up. I took it and we both fell as I tried to get up. I laughed and tried again to get on my feet. Bam used me to steady himself and skated a full lap around the ice, before knocking John and Ville over. Mike skated over to me.
“Having fun?” he grinned drunkenly.
“Yeah, but my ass hurts.” I said.
Mike laughed and fell over as he did. “Wow. This was a bad idea.” He said.
I laughed loudly and tried to skate away. I was successful this time. I made it around twice before Bam slammed into me.
“Ouchies! I hurt my ass. Gustav, can you kiss it all better?” he said.
“Ewwie!” I giggled. “Bam that’s nasty!”
Bam laughed and picked himself up and skated away, rubbing his butt as he did. I laughed and stood up. I skated to the middle of the floor, where John was. He was trying and failing to spin circles. He wobbled and nearly fell, but he used me to steady himself.
“You okay?” I slurred. I was really drunk.
“Yeppers. I’m just peachy fucking keen. I’m so happy, I could shit a rainbow and fart butterflies.” He grinned. John never said anything that random and retarded.
I laughed so hard; I fell on my ass and rolled over laughing. “Fart butterflies, huh?” I said through fits of laughter. John nodded moronically with a grin to match.
“Uh huh, I want to fart butterflies and shit rainbows!” he said.
Bam heard this and skated over. “You know what I want to do?” he asked.
“What?” John and I asked.
“I WANT TO STRIP OFF ALL MY CLOTHES AND RUN NAKED THROUGH FINLAND!” He shouted so that everyone could hear.
Ville glided over and pushed him. “No, you will not run outside naked!” he said.
Bam pouted as John and I failed to contain our laughter.
“You’re no fun!” he said and skated away.
After four hours of falling and stumbling around on the ice, we decided to call it a night. We all left with sore asses. Bam and Ville called a cab to take us back to the hotel. After getting to the room, Mike, John, and I passed out fully clothed in random parts of the room.