Northern Lights

"It's crazy how much I miss this place when we're away," Ava said as everyone waited for their bags at the airport.

"It'd be crazy how much I would miss if you if you stayed here," Adam Burish smiled widely at her, making Ava giggle.

"You're such a sweet talker Bur," she grinned, swatting at his arm lightly. They joked around for a few more minutes before Ava spotted her bag on the conveyer belt and she walked forward to claim it, however before she could even grab the handle to her suitcase a pair of strong arms lifted it up and placed it next to her.

"Thanks Buffy," she smiled up at the large hockey player.

"No problem Ava," he shot her a small smile.

Once the bus brought the team back to the UC everyone split off in their own directions, excited to finally be home and eager to sleep in their own beds. Ava was just about to hail a taxi when Patrick grabbed her arm and spun her around so they were facing each other.

"Tazer said we should go to his place," he told her.

"Oh, well. I was just gonna go straight home. I'm pretty tired," she said.

"He has a surprise for you remember!" Patrick said quickly.

"Oh, I forgot about that," Ava shook her head. "I guess I forgot. But can't it wait till tomorrow?"

"Nope," Patrick beamed as he grabbed her suitcase and began to lead her towards his car.

They arrived at Jonathan's condo about fifteen minutes later and Patrick pulled up in front of the building and put the car in park. Curiously, Ava glanced over at him, her head cocked to the side, silently questioning her curly headed friend.

"What're you..?"

"I think I left my phone at the airport," Patrick said suddenly, not even giving Ava a chance to finish her question. The quizzical look on her face still sat there- Ava wasn't stupid.

"Oh?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I should probably go get it. You go up to Tazer's place though; I'll meet you when I get back."

"Is Jon home?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Probably. He left before us," Patrick rushed.

"Uh, okay," Ava shrugged, not exactly knowing why Patrick was lying but deciding it wasn't for very good reason. She knew his intentions were good and whatever he was up to was probably something stupid, so she didn't worry as she stepped out of the car.

Patrick sped away quickly, making Ava laugh lightly as she buzzed three times quickly, her little signal that it was her waiting on the cold Chicago streets. Jon buzzed her up without so much as a question. When Ava finally got to his door she knocked lightly, careful not to be too loud as to wake the neighbors- it was nearly one in the morning after all.

She fully expected Jonathan to be on the other side of the door with some sort of ridiculous "surprise" for her, but when the door finally opened it revealed a shorter boy with his almost brown hair tamed by an ever present backwards hat. Ava gasped softly as she stared at TJ standing in the doorway of Jonathan's apartment. That was certainly the last thing she expected.

"Surprise," TJ shrugged lamely. He then let out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, stepping to the side and ushering Ava into Jonathan Toews' apartment.

Ava was in such a state of utter shock that she allowed TJ to walk her inside, and only realized she was there when he shut the door behind them. She jumped slightly at the sound and glanced over her shoulder as TJ walked towards her, still rubbing the back of his neck. It was a nervous habit of his, something only someone who had actually seen TJ nervous would know. And TJ didn't get nervous often.

He stood tall against some of the meanest men on the ice and took them down against the boards, despite being only 5'11 he had become sort of feared for his powerful checking abilities. But there he stood, scared and nervous because of a petite little red head who didn't even like to kill bugs when she found them around the house or in her office.

"Say something," he said in a small, almost urgent voice.

"I don't know what to say," Ava admitted honestly.

"Tell me how you're feeling right now," TJasked begged her. "Even if it's bad, just tell anything."

"I- uh," Ava stuttered, her mouth moving like she was trying to form a correct sentence just couldn't. "I don't know what I'm feeling either," she said finally. TJ looked completely dejected by her answer.

"Listen, I know you're a nice person," he began softly. "But don't try to spare me my feelings. I know what I did to you was fucked up, and I understand if you hate me. But I just want to know. I need to know if you never want to talk to me again," he urged. "Ya know, like closure or something..."

"Timmy," she began, just as softly as he had spoken. "I don't hate you," she divulged, making TJ let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "But I'm upset with you," she added.

"I know, I understand that I just- lemme explain. Or something, just please lemme tell yo-"

"I trusted you," she cut him off. TJ immediately stopped talking and placed his hands on his hips as he looked at her.

"If you wanna be all text book about things- you were probably my best friend, you still are I guess. You know more about me than anyone else does. I've told you things I have a hard time admitting to even myself. You know how much it meant to me to trust you. I had just left a house where the only two people who were supposed to love me forever treated me like nothing for 18 years. You were the first person I've trusted my whole life, did you know that?" She asked, not waiting for an answer as she went on. "I just want to know why. Why would you let something as stupid as just adding me to a list of those girls you slept with get in the way of that? Did you not sleep with enough people in college? You just had to make everyone think I was just as stupid as all of those girls were?"

TJ looked to the ground, unwilling to look up because he knew he had made Ava cry again. He felt like such a complete fuck up at that moment he just wanted to get on a plane to Washington and forget about everything for a while.

"Remember that day when you told me you hung out with me because I wasn't like those other girls. Even after you knew how upset I got when Tess accused me of sleeping with you, you still went on with that lie."

"I never thought of it that way!" TJ cut her off with haste, finally breaking his silence. He didn't want Ava to cry anymore, he didn't want her to hate him anymore (even if she claimed she didn't. He knew she sort of resented him for it despite what she had said), and he just wanted to make things right. "The first night I met you, when I walked you home from the party everyone thought we went back to your dorm and slept together. I never denied it, I just sort of ran with it. But I didn't know you then, so it never mattered. When you started to come around more, I don't know...things changed," he shrugged simply.

"What do you mean?" Ava pressed on in a quiet voice.

"You weren't anything like anyone I had ever met. You're still like that, no one really compares. I never actually ever said I slept with you after that. Everyone just assumed and I never said anything to make them think different. But I'm sorry Ava. I never meant to do anything to hurt you like that."

Ava looked at TJ, her lips pressed into a straight line and her tears drying to her face. She studied his expression, trying to catch any signs he was lying to her. In all honesty though, Ava knew TJ wasn't lying to her. He always said she was different from all of the other girls, and she believed him. It wasn't in a cocky way on her part, and it wasn't that she thought he meant anything more by it but truth be told she knew she was different. And she was just happy TJ recognized that.

"If I could just go back in time, I know that sounds so stupid. But I mean it, I would take it all back it that was possible."

"I know," she whispered, nodding her head slowly. “It just hurt so bad. Maybe it was just everything that was happening that week. I overreacted,” she said.

“No, I was stupid. I understand why you were upset. I know how much you didn’t want people to associate you with those other girls,” TJ shook his head. He walked over and placed his large hand on her forearm. She looked up slowly, her green eyes still shiny with tears.

“Did you come all the way to Chicago to tell me all of that?” She asked him.

“I’d go a lot farther if that meant you’d start talking to me again,” he said honestly, a tiny smile falling across his lips.

Ava smiled shyly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. “Ava, I think there’s something you should know…” TJ began slowly. Ava looked at him oddly; a small hint of fear flashing across her face- he didn’t exactly make it sound like it was good news.

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you.”

Ava certainly wasn’t expecting that, and her expression let TJ know it. He immediately felt stupid for telling her, and wanted to turn around and lock himself in Tazer’s room. Ava made him so unbelievably nervous.

“How do you know that?” She asked him skeptically.

“That’s just it, I have no idea. I can’t explain how I feel about you, so I know its love.”

“You can’t explain it?” Ava inquired, titling her head to the side.

“I can try, but I don’t know if I can do it justice. I’m not exactly the most poetic or sensitive guy in the world,” he laughed nervously. Ava smiled, touching his arm softly.

“I won’t judge Timmy,” she assured him.

“Well like, just then- you make me so damn nervous. I just want to be perfect around you, because I feel like I’m not good enough for you. After I saw you here for the first time I couldn’t get you out of my head, and I would stay up late because I just missed falling asleep next to you. It’s all of this stupid shit you see in movies! That’s how I feel, like the Notebook or something…”

Ava stifled a laugh, “You feel like the Notebook?”

“Yes,” TJ nodded. Ava couldn’t suppress her smile any longer and found herself laughing out loud at TJ’s words. He looked nervous immediately, and then extremely embarrassed, so Ava stopped her laughter and smiled at him.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I just never thought I hear those words leaving your lips.”

“Me either,” he admitted. “But it’s true,” he added softly. Ava bit her bottom lip softly, took a deep breath, and stood on her tip toes to place a soft kiss on TJ’s lips. When she pulled away he looked nothing short of shocked.

“You’ve always been there for me,” she said, as if to explain her actions. “I guess I always just thought you saw me as that girl who you could always fall back on.”

“I did, but then I grew up and realized that you meant so much more than that,” TJ grinned. He encircled his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. She smiled up as he pushed his lips down to her’s once again.