Standing In The Crowd

*Ten Days Later*

It was Thursday and I had a date with Mike later. The third this week. He had wanted to pick me up at my house this time for some reason and refused to tell me where we were going. He’d always said this. I rummaged through my newly cleaned laundry and found a pair of skinny jeans and a black low cut tank top littered with sparkly stars.

I got dressed then headed down to the kitchen. I’d finally found my appetite and it unfortunately delighted my mother. She was always telling me that I looked like a twig- with nothing on. It just made me not want to eat at all. Now I just couldn’t stop.

I opened up the fridge and looked around for some dip. I found it then located the Ruffles. I sat down at the island in the dead center of the kitchen and put the two together. Before I knew it I had finished the bag.

Then the familiar wave of nausea rolled over me. Goddamn that pork my mother had made. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her cooking. She’d given me food poisoning. I got up and practically ran down the hallway to the bathroom.

So much for the chips.

I headed towards the door, but my mother was waiting in the living room by the door.

“Hey,” I acknowledged her presence.

“I just found out how old that boy is,” she told me and I froze in place.

“So?” I ventured, looking straight into her eyes.

“So it’s just not right. He’s too old,” she spat, getting up.

“Why do you even care?” I asked. Although she’d never been afraid of letting me know she disapproved of everything I did and everyone I knew, she’d never just said it flat out.

“Because I don’t want you to get used,” she smiled that false smile and everything became crystal clear.

“You mean you don’t want to deal with me if I get knocked up,” I sighed then stormed out the door.

Mike was waiting outside, about to get out of his little car.

“Don’t bother,” I told him, trying to pry open the door.

“No. Let’s go. I think I should meet her,” he told me, getting out of the car and walking over to me and grabbing my hand to lead me back to the house of doom.

“This is a bad idea,” I warned him, but my warning fell on deaf ears.

He walked up to the door and knocked. I could hear my mother getting out of her creaky old chair; she'd been in there watching us. My heart was quickly pounding its way out of my chest as I waited

"Did you forget something?" My mother asked harshly, pressing nothing more than her nose out behind the door although I could tell she was quickly checking over Mike. As her nostrils flared I could tell she didn't like what she was seeing.

"Hello Mrs. McClaire. My name is Mike D-dirnt," he stuttered. I glanced at him worriedly; he was normally not one for losing words.

He held out a quivering hand which was merely given a cold look.

"Nice to meet you, Mike," she spat, making his name sound like the rottenest piece of fruit she'd ever eaten and had left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Well, we better get going," I interceded, knowing it wasn't going to get any better. Mike lowered his hand and then nodded in agreement. My mother just closed the door with a thud as we turned back and walked to the car.

***

"So where are we going?" I asked for the millionth time.

"You'll see," he answered for the millionth time.

"But I want to know," I complained.

"Well you'll just have to wait Miss Impatient," he told me.

"Fine. Fine. I hope it's as good as your making it out to be," I muttered.

"It is. I promise," he assured me before continuing down the highway in the band van, as was customary.

I slumped back into my bucket seat with stuffing coming out of various holes, waiting for the car to reach its destination.

Mike glanced at the sign as we passed it and changed lanes and got off at the exit. After a long maze of interesting turns and roundabout circles he stopped the car at an old looking building. It was grey and had a flat roof, as was customary for the area.

"Where are we?" I asked nervously, growing concerned.

"You'll see," he responded automatically, getting out of the van and slamming the door shut.

With a sigh I followed suit, reluctantly running to catch up with him as he opened the glass door. Then I saw the sign: "Animal Shelter."

Confused, I decided Mike must be up to something, though I couldn't tell what. We walked through the glass doors, which shut with a whoosh, and faced multiple rows of white plastic kennels filled with big eyed dogs that all looked at us with an unmistakable gleam of hope in their eyes.

"May I help you sir?" A woman dressed in scrubs came up and asked Mike, completely ignoring me.

"We were just looking for a tour or something," Mike told her with his smile, the one that could convince gravity not to let him fall.

"Well, I s'pose. Over there are the dogs,” she indicated the kennels directly in front of us, "And over there are the cats,” she continued, "And over there are the birds, reptiles, and anything else we could think of," she told us, pointing to a small room with glass walls in the corner with a green latex gloved finger.

Mike grasped my hand and led me towards the dog kennels.

"What the fuck are we doing here?" I asked hesitantly.

"Just looking," he shrugged and I pulled my hand away.

Bullshit.

"What's your problem?" He asked crossly, but I never got the chance to answer because at that moment we saw someone dressed in scrubs leading an older looking dog to the back with a battered metal sign reading: "Staff Only."

"They're gonna put her down!" I screamed in a whisper.

"Well what can we do?" He asked.

"Take her! I don't care! We can't just let them kill it!" I told him in a furious whisper.

"Excuse me. Did you just say take it?" He asked me incredulously.

"Yes, yes. Excuse me!" I shouted down the hallway and the man leading the old dog turned around and gave me a funny look.

"Yes?" They asked, obviously annoyed.

"We'll take that dog," I informed him and he gave us yet another of his seemingly endless funny looks.

"This dog? This old dog?" He verified.

"That's the one. Right honey?" I asked, nudging Mike.

"Yup," He replied through gritted teeth.

***

The car ride to my house was dead silent. Shelby (the dog) interrupted the silence with a little bark or a lick. It seemed like eternity before we finally pulled up to the familiar circular stone driveway.

"Well talk to you later," I muttered, hopping out of the car and turning around to close it.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Mike asked with raised eyebrows.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Perhaps a certain four legged creature," he replied and I sighed.

"I can't bring a dog into the house!" I told him, afraid what my mother would say.

"And why not?" He asked without any emotion.

"Because- because- because I can't," I mustered.

"That's so descriptive. Now take the goddamn dog," he told me.

"Why can't you take him? I have a feeling he'd be better received at your house than mine," I told him, trying to shut the door once again, but he held it.

"Billie Joe's mom has allergies. No can do," he told me.

"Fine. I'll take Shelby," I muttered, grabbing the old dog's leash and gently leading her out of the car.

He drove off in a huff, speeding all the way to the end of the driveway where he screeched to a burling stop. I waited, wondering if he’d come back to take the dog, but he just turned and continued on his way.

I walked up to the house with the dog at my heels, waiting.

“C’mon Shelby,” I muttered, opening the door to the house and leading the dog in.

“Oh, you’re home,” my mother greeted me with a critizing glance before continuing on her way to the TV.

“Yeap. With a new friend,” I murmured, hoping she hadn’t heard me so I could get away with saying ‘I told you so.’

“Where is she?” My mother’s asked with raised eyebrows.

“Right here,” I responded, holding up the leash. She just laughed.

I stood there, waiting for it to end patiently. When it did she was not in a good mood.

“Get the harebrained flea-bag out of here. Your father will throw a fit when he sees it,” she responded with a smile before starting to walk away.

“Well too bad. She’s mine. She’ll just be in my room. Her name’s Shelby by the way,” I told her before marching to my room, the happy dog in tow.

“Get back here! Get that dog out of here! Ohhhhh! Just wait til your father gets home!” She screamed up at me helplessly from the bottom of the stairs.

***

I waited until my father came home, hoping that Mike would call but refusing to pick up when he finally did. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t at the same time. I wanted space, but I also wanted him.

I turned to Shelby who’d made a bed from my old comforter lying on the ground.

“What am I going to do about him? I think I love him, but sometimes he just- Ahhhh!” I told her and she seemed to nod, “And now look at me, I’m talking to a dog. I must be insane.”

I sighed and settled back into the book sitting in front of me. It was some frivolous tale of a girl forced into an arranged marriage and trying to get out of it. Pointless, but mind numbing.

Perfect.

Then I heard the door slam. My father was home. I could hear my mother cornering him downstairs.

“She brought home a dog!” She told him, but received no reaction, “A dog,” she tried again.

“I understand this. Why is it so important?” He asked and I could see the confused look forming on his face.

“Because!” She screamed at him.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to her,” he sighed, then started marching up the stairs.

I waited, pretending to read the book until he knocked on my door.

“Come in,” I murmured, not bothering to look up at the door.

“Hey. And hello to you too,” he grinned, studying Shelby carefully before going over and petting her on the head which she lifted up affectionately.

“This is Shelby,” I introduced her, closing my book with a thud.

“Why hello there,” he grinned. Then he seemed to remember how he was told to act as he stood up suddenly and replaced his grin with a disapproving look.

“Why is she here?” He amended, looking warily towards the door, probably afraid my mother was waiting for him.

“Because,’’ I responded.

“Good enough for me,” he sighed before getting up and leaving.

I just stared at him with a dumbstruck look on my face. Never had anything been so easy. There’s gotta be a catch.

“What?” He asked, sensing my disbelief.

“I-I can keep her?” I asked, almost wishing I hadn’t.

“Well that’s what I said, isn’t it?” He told me carefully.

I grinned, then looked at Shelby as my father left the room where my mother was certainly waiting to hear how I took him kicking the dog out of the house.

***

Two weeks later I climbed into the reeking van once again.

“Where the hell are we going?” I asked. He’d taken the whole surprise thing to an extreme lately.

“Actually we have a show tonight,” he shrugged.

“Oh,” I muttered.

“What’s wrong?” He asked me, looking at me carefully.

“Nothing,” I shrugged.

“Liar. What is it?” He asked, really looking deep into my eyes.

I looked away.

“Nothing. I guess I thought we weren’t gonna be with the guys,” I lied, with a nervous smile.

“Hmmhmmm…” he responded thoughtfully.

It was silent the entire way to the venue, which was past Rodeo. We stopped at what I assumed to be Tre`s house. It looked normal enough with various old pieces of junk sticking out of the ground including a set of old drums.

“You asshole!” I heard Billie Joe scream as we got out of the van.

“Sounds like they’re having fun,” I grumbled, trying to make it sound like I was happy.

“Mmmhmmm…” he sighed, getting out of the van. I elected to wait inside the van, knowing I could very well get tetanus if I ventured into the Lair of Cool.

I sat in the van, occupying myself with the cord dangling from the dashboard. After a while I finally heard the door slam as three figures loomed towards the van. All dressed in ripped jeans and some vintage tee, they looked like they were in uniform.

I couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“What?” Billie Joe asked innocently.

“N-nothing,” I managed, trying to get the giggles under control.

“Sure. We’ll just all pretend to not notice the bulge in Mikey’s pants,” Tre` grinned.

I looked down, confused.

“Made ya look,” Tre` smiled.

“Jerk,” I muttered.

“Oooohhh… Someone’s in a touchy mood,” Billie Joe grumbled.

“Whatever,” I muttered, ignoring the look being passed around by the trio.

***

The concert was alright, but I was feeling sick. I hadn’t even had anything to drink. I was standing with Mike next to the van, waiting for Billie Joe and Tre` to hurry up with the last of their goodbyes. Apparently they did have a life outside of the band…

“You okay, babe?” Mike asked me, brushing the strand of hair way from my eye.

“Yeah. Just tired,” I lied once more. I wasn’t really sure why.

“K, well then try to get more sleep, would ya?” He asked me with a smirk.

“Mmmkay,” I nodded, resting my head against his chest.

“So you two want a room or what?” Tre` asked, coming up behind us.

“”Nah. Just dinner,” I told him.

“Sure,” Tre` responded, but hopped in the van all the same.

“Hey! That’s my seat!” I screamed at Billie Joe as he claimed the back seat next to Mike.

“Not anymore. Sit shotgun with Tre`,” he shrugged.

I sighed, but complied reluctantly. I climbed into the van and plopped down next to Tre`, who was already getting the van in gear.

***

Two hours later we were wading through traffic, or rather Tre` was trying to swim through it, but it wasn’t working very well.

“So hot dogs or tacos?” He grinned.

“Depends on my mood,” I responded without thinking.

“Oooohhh. I guess I was wrong. You do go both ways,” he told me with a horrified look on his face.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, confused. Then it dawned on me, “Geeze Tre`! Does it ever stop?”

“Nope,” he responded.

“Why’d I get- Just never mind,” I decided it wasn’t worth it.

“So how is it going with the big man?” He grinned at me.

I glanced in the back, but all I saw were two sleeping forms each sleeping in the other’s lap.

“That great, huh?” Tre` inquired, keeping his eyes on the road somehow.

“Well, it’s just gotten more complicated, ya know?” I ventured. I kinda wanted outside advice.

“Why? What happened?” He asked, scared.

“Nothing, nothing,” I reassured him.

“Liar,” he hissed.

“Well not really. I just wish it had all gone slower, you know? I wish we could go back and-” I started, but stopped.

I really wasn’t sure how much of what I told Tre` would get back to Mike.

“It’s alright. I’m not gonna tell the little guy if that’s what you’re worried about. And I totally get the speed is scaring you. It’s scaring him too, if it makes you feel any better,” he shrugged.

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“Mmmhmmm.” He nodded, still looking at the road, finding his way through the continuing traffic.

“Well I just wish we would have gone slower. That’s pretty much it,” I lied, hoping Tre` wouldn’t notice.

“Sure. Now it’s my turn- wait a sec. Holy shit. He got you pregnant didn’t he?” Tre` asked me and I felt my heart beat go ten times faster.

“N-no,” I tried. I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t know what to do. My heart continued making its way out of my chest.

“What does Mikey think about it? I mean, he hasn’t said- You haven’t told him yet have you?” He asked me, still looking at me.

“Nope. I just don’t know how. I mean- I just dunno,” I confide.

“Well as much as I hate to say this, although Mikey would make a great father, I really wouldn’t tell him. With the band starting to make headway (yes, that was meant to be dirty, Charlie). I would really just get rid of it if I were you. It’s not like you can really take care of a kid. C’mon, you’re not even sixteen yet,” he told me with a sad look on his face.

“But you’re not me,” I pointed out.

“Need I remind you it’s illegal,” he sighed.

“I know. I know. So I should just not tell him? Do everything myself?” I asked him in disbelief. I couldn’t believe this was coming from Tre`.

“Yeah. I know it’s hard, but it’s for the best. Trust me,” he promised.

“Fine,” I sighed, knowing what I was gonna do, just concentrating on holding back the tears.