All Your Sorrows Crumble in My Arms

"Ouch." I heard Zacky hiss from beside of me. I glanced at him, smirking a bit as I noticed he was trying to tie a tye but couldn't, but surely that wasn't what he was saying ouch to. So I asked him and he pointed to the stage where Brian was practicing. Our first show off recital for music class was tonight, the day before Christmas Eve. Brian wasn't actually practicing at the moment. He was picking himself up off the floor of the stage.

"Is he drunk?" I asked when a few seconds later he stumbled again.

"Nope. He's being distracted by someone." Zacky smirked.

"Who? I don't see Jimmy anywhere." I glanced around just to make sure.

"It's not Jimmy, hun." Matt said near my ear and pointed, folowing Brian's gaze. Where that lead us was to a tall, very beauitful blond girl.

I sighed a quiet "oh, no." and shook my head. Just what our group needed-jealousy and anger over a new girl. That was bound to happen if Jimmy knew Brian was even shomewhat interested. Matt shook his head and looked at Zacky, "Would he be that supid? Him and JImmy have a great thing going."

"Brian can be stupid, no doubt about it." Zacky shrugged and we all watched as he came off stage. He headed immediately for the blond.

I cringed and turned to Matt, "You're next."

He nodded and then looked at Zacky, "That means you and Jimmy too. Where is he anyway?"

"I dunno but since it's just practice Daniellea can play the piano part." Zacky shrugged.

Matt looked at me, "Can you, baby?"

I nodded and sat down at the piano that was on stage. I played the melody Matt set in front of me while Zacky played his guitar and Matt sang. It was a haunting, beauiful song and Matt's husky rasp did it well, better than anyone else could have. I had to stay up there to play the song I was performing, an original Matt helped me compose and then we were free to leave until later that night. On our way out, Brian stopped us, "Hey, guys. This is Laura."

"Hey." we all chorused and Brian just looked at us. I realized why and nudged Matt.

He jolted, "Oh, yeah. I'm Matt Sanders. This is Daniellea Nordstrum."

"And I'm Zacky Baker."

Laura smiled, "Hey. So what is this exactly? My neighbor dragged me here when my mom and his mom forced us to hang out."

"Oh, it's a recital of what the music class has been working on all year." Zacky explained.

I was curious, "Who's your neighbor?"

"Uh . . .I think he said his name was Jimmy Sullivan." She frowned. Not good.

Brian cleared his throat before we could say anything, "We all hang out with Jimmy. Do you know where he went?" Since he was nowhere to be found.

"He said something about the bathroom about an hour ago." She shrugged.

Brian sighed because that meant he probably went in there to get stoned. We waited for him to go get him like usual but instead he just asked Laura if she'd like to go with us to eat and stuff before the recital. Zacky rolled his eyes and said he'd go get Jimmy. Matt surveyed the audiotorium and found Johnny sucking face with Victoria. The two jumped up when he prodded their shoulders. Matt and Johnny were closer now that Victoria was in the picture.

Finally we all left. We decided that it'd be me, Matt, Laura, and Victoria in Matt's car. Brian and Jimmy in his car nad Johnny would drop Jimmy's car off at his house after lunch. Brian was not happy about the arrangements and I felt bad for Jimmy. Sure he may have been a coke-head and somewhat alcoholic but he didn't deserve his boyfriend hurting him like that.
Apparently, Brian had no intentions of making him and Jimmy an obvious thing. Normally, they'd be more like a regular couple, holding hands and sitting close but today. brian sat at the end of the table and Jimmy was on the opposite side, in a booth with Johnny and Victoria. I rolled my eyes at Matt, who looked grim. Neither of us wanted to shake uip the comfy clique we'd formed of couples and friends.

As much as I wanted to resent Laura, I couldn't. She was extremely sweet and funny and fit right in with her love of the bass. Johnny almost squealed when he learned that she played, and Zacky joined in when she revealed she was left handed. Brian kept drawing her into conversation-seeming desperate to me-and everyone seemed to be shooting looks at Jimmy. Oh, this wasn't going to be good . . .

"Good job, baby." Matt kissed my cheek when I came backstage after performing.

I smiled up at him, "Thank you, love. I can't get over the standing ovation you guys got though."

He dimpled at me, "That was awesome."

I nodded, feeling his fingers thread through mine. We were getting ready to leave since we'd all performed and Matt and I were due some alone time when a woman walked up to us. I didn't recognize her but Matt did. He tensed.

"Matthew." He cringed but held onto my hand a little tighter.

"Mrs. Cardwell. I didn't expect to see you here." Matt's smile was so obviously fake. His natural, happy smile showed his top teeth and he'd slightly bite his bottom lip. His fake was a simple up-turning of his lips and raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, well a friend asked me a long to watch her granddaughter play the piano." Play the piano? I was the only girl piano player in the recital. Who was this woman? She pinned me with her gaze, "I have to admit I thought Cora Jane's simpering about her talented, musician grand-daughter was just her doting. However, you proved me wrong."

And that seemed more like an accusation than a compliment. "Um, thank you."

"Matthew, did you lose what manners you did have?" The woman snapped.

I got mad then. Did she have to be so hateful to Matt? Before I could say anything, a voice chirped, "Dani!" I turned to see my grandmother Cora Jane O'Donelle. I gave her a hug.

"Nonna! I didn't know you were coming. Mom said you wouldn't be here until the day after tomorrow." I loved my grandmother more than any other person in my family.

"That would be the point in a surprise, dear. On, Dottie. I see you've met Daniellea already." She turned to the other woman.

She cast a withering glance at Matt, who's smile had widened just a bit, "Not formally, no."

"Oh, well, Daniellea, this is my grand daughter Daniellea Nordstrum. Daniellea, this is my good friend Dorothy Cardwell." After a second in which I simply moved closer to Matt and gave a small greeting, she asked, "Who is this?"

"Nonna, this is Matt Sander, my . . .uh . . ." Nonna didn't approve of me dating so young. She'd already told me that.

Or so I thought . . .

"Isn't that adorable?" Nonna gushed, reaching up to pinch Matt's cheek.

Oh that was just too much! My strapping over-six-foot, muscled boyfriend getting his cheeks pinched by my five-one Nonna? I couldn't help but giggle and bury my head in his shoulder.

He chuckled, "It's nice to meet you . . ."

"Nonna or Cora Jane, dear." She smiled.

"Yes, m'am." He smiled back, seeming to forget about Mrs. Cardwell.

"I see you've moved on rather quick, Matthew." Spoke too soon.

"I'm sure you remember Cynthia and I were over before that happeened, Mrs. Cardwell. You were especially happy about that." Matt was tense again.

Nonna cleared her throat, "Well, I'm sure you two had plans. I'm going to walk Dottie to her car and I'll see you at home, Dani?"

"Yes, Nonna. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cardwell." I smiled stiffly at her and took the opportunity to pull Matt away.

When we were in his car, he hauled me to him and crashed our mouths together. I gasped at his forcefulness and slipped my fingers into his soft hair. He moaned into my mouth but it wasn't of passion and want. No, it was more of need. I pulled back, my eyes searching his face, landing on his eyes. Normally full of reassurance and comfort, they were hurt and vulnerable. I reached over to turn on the ignition and he got the picture. The car carried us easily, Matt driving on autopilot, taking each stop sign and red light as a chance to kiss and touch. When we finally got to his house, neither of us wasted a lot of time with words or with locking his bedroom door. His finger jabbed at his stereo before they fell to my belt. I tugged the white shirt he wore over his hood before lips came toegether again. he pushed me lightly back on his bed, his fingers catching the edge of my jeans to pull them off of me at the same time. I undid his snakeskin belt and unzipped his pants, watching as they fell from his altheltic hips. He laid himself on powerful forearms, his biceps flexing to hold up his weight as we kissed. His deft fingers pulled down my bra straps to lower the cups. Immediately his mouth followed, forming a slightly wet trail. I moaned, arching off the bed to encourage him when he bit lightly. This caused our hips to collide and we both let out breathless mooans. A barely perceiveable move on both our accounts and then he was in me, moving slow, his eyes slowly clearing from cloudy with emotion to their normal bright and clear color. His lips found mine and I was thankful he didn't apologize for hurting me. The pain that should have seared my newly torn body didn't come, only a feeling of absolute completion. That feeling intesified as did my pleasure when soft movements became harder, sounds louder and more fevored. Finally, Matt looked down at me, a small grunt escaping his lips. He pulled my legs more securely around him and plunged deep in me with one more solid thrust. I cried out and he came, a whimpering noise escaping his throat as he did.

It was a long time before either of us moved. When Matt finally did it was to turn over onto his side and pull me against him. His fingers tilted my head up so our eyes met, "Thank you."

I shook my head, "What?"

"It's just that . . .I've never been the easiest guy to intimidate, obviously. But that old bat has always made me feel inferior and unworthy. You took that away, made me sure that I was good enough for you."

How amazing it was to me that Matt had insecurities the same as I did. Even more so was the fact that I melted his the same way he melted mine. I stroked his face, "Matt?"

He moved to kiss my palm, my small hand barely cupping his broad jaw, "Yeah?"

"Would it freak you out to know I love you?" I could feel my hand trembling against his skin.

He chuckled, his fingers curling around mine, "Only if you freaked when you found out I love you just as much." I smiled at him. He grinned back and kissed me softly. After a moment, he laughed again, "Merry Christmas."

I giggled, "Where's the bow?"

"Damn, I forgot it."

He kissed my lips again before running a hand down my thigh, "I'm sure your Nonna is wanting to spend time with you."

I nodded, "Yeah. So are you coming over Christmas day when you get home?" Tomorrow he and his parents had to go back to their hometown to visit his dad's parents. At the same time, I had Mom's big Christmas Eve dinner. On actual Christmas, I didn't have anything planned and they were suppose to be home around two or three.

He made a face, "Maybe. It just depends on my mom. She may need me around here." He stood up to pull on his boxers, smiling when I blushed at his nudity. "So I thought we'd take a shower before I ran you home."

I blushed brighter, "Together?"

"Yeah, it'll save time." He tugged at my hand.

"Okay." I stood up too. His white shirt dropped over my head before his arms lifted me up. I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck. Pausing at his bedroom door, his eyes searched my face.

"No regrets?"

"No regrets." I shook my head, snuggling my face into his shoulder.

"Good." He kissed my head before heading into the bathroom. I was telling the truth, I didn't have any regrets about what we'd done and I was glad he didn't seem to either.