All Your Sorrows Crumble in My Arms

Getting Matt to agree to go to Paris wasn't hard;figuring out who to take with me was. Johnny wanted to go, and that was my first choice, but he'd failed a class and had summer school. Victoria wouldn't go without him. Brian started IMT in early July. My birthday wasn't until late. That narrowed it down to Jimmy and Maria or Zacky and Lorrie. Dad made up my mind for me, "No heavy drinkers. Paris is very . . .nonchalant about who they sell liquor to."

Zacky drank, yes, but not nearly as much as Jimmy, especially here lately. So a week before my birthday found me packing a lot of my summer clothes up. Matt was done and "helping" me. That basically meant laying on my bed and reaching over to take stuff out he didn't like. One of which hapened to be a shirt he'd already told me he loved on me. I tried to snatch it back out of his hands, "I thought you liked this one!"

"Baby, it shows a lot of cleveage. Of course I love it. That doesn't mean all of France gets to." He scowled.

I stroked his face, "I'll only wear it around Dad's."

He bit down on his lip ring, "Okay."

I smiled as he threw it back in the suitcase. He smiled back, shifting uncomfortably. I set my
suitcase off to the side and lay on the bed next to him, "Something wrong?"

"No." He mumbled, shaking his head.

I cocked my head. Matt wasn't a good liar, especially to me. He knew it too. He kept looking away from me, causing me to crawl all over him and the bed to make him meet my gaze.
Finally I sat on his lap, framing his face with my hands, "Matthew."

He made a growling noise and rolled us over, grinding his hips into mine, "Ah, baby . . .it's just that we're going to be at your dad's for two weeks. I know dads, Daniellea. He's not going to like a whole bunch of kissing and touching of his daughter going on. So that means no kisses, no snuggling, and sleeping in seperate beds for two weeks." That last one was a big deal. Matt snuck into my room most nights, when Mom didn't let me "spend the night with Lorrie", which translated into going to Matt's house/the beach and falling asleep in his arms.

I pecked his full lips, "No worries, baby. We'll figure it out and Anna will mellow him out. Plus, Zacky and Lorrie will be there as a good distraction. And unlike my mom, Dad doesn't mind us dating."

"Thankfully." Matt muttered.

I grinned, "Besides what are you so worried about? You know you've turned me into a little rebel. The more Dad protested the more I'd want to do it."

He laughed and nodded, "Too true. alright, alright, let's get back to packing."

"You weren't bored?"

"No. You're cute when you're excited. " He rubbed my thighs, his large hands sending shivers up my spine, "Besides, I like imagining you taking off the clothes you're packing so I'm plenty entertained."

Normally, he'd get accused of being a pervert for that remark but I was too busy practically purring at his slow, sensuous strokes. He stopped after a minute and kissed my forehead, chuckling when I made a face and whimpered. Why was it he could make me want him so bad and then left me feeling like a kid? From the way he kissed my head, or nose, or sometimes called me a childish pet name, he often made me feel like a small kid. Not the best feeling in the world. When I'd tried to tell him that, he'd protested that he was simply being affectionate with no ill-intent. I always ended up apologizing for feeling that way.

"I'm sorry." He spoke lowly, in a raspy voice.

"Hum?" I looked up at him.

"You tensed up. I did it again didn't I?"

Slowly I nodded.

"Well." He slid his hand down my thigh again to the back of my knee. His grip tightened and he moved my leg to settle around his hip, pushing into me so that I felt his hardness through the denim of both our jeans. "I think this makes it obvious that I wasn't meaning it that way."

I moaned and nodded, but we didn't take it any farther. Both of us could be aching and we still wouldn't. Sex seemed like such a bigger deal to us than to our friends, who bragged about how often they hit the sheets. Maybe we were weird or Maybe I just noticed because of how much I wanted him at the moment.

Lightly he kissed me, "I'm going to go call Zacky and see what he's doing tonight. I got another song worked up."

I smiled because I loved his passion for music, "Okay, baby. I'm gonna finish packing and maybe chat with Johnny."

"Okay." He pushed himself off me, muscles flexing as he did and headed for the door. We didn't bother to kiss bye because he'd be back later.

****

"Do you feel okay?" Matt asked quietly, slipping me a piece of gum to chew on the plane.

"No." I mumbled, my head on his shoulder. I'd been feeling queasy all morning. Matt put it down to whatever had been making me dizzy and sick earlier int eh summer. Lorrie thought it was my fear of heights. I didn't really care as long as it stopped soon.

"Want some crackers or something?" He murmured, using a soothing tone of voice. I considered it for a moment and nodded. He slid away from my side and went of to find a vending machine.

Zacky sent me a look, "You should definitely go to a doctor."

"Why do you say that?" I unscrewed the Sprite bottle lid and tipped it back.

"Cause you sound pregnant." He shrugged.

I gaped at him. What the fuck? How was Zacky, not the brightest person in the world, the one to think of that? As soon as Matt came back, looking harrassed and with a couple of pack of crackers, I crawled onto his lap. I fumbled with the crackers, not meeting his eyes as
I spoke, "When we get back, I want to go to the doctor."

"Now you see it my way." He took the pack from me.

I snatched it back. I needed the distraction, "Matt, we've never um . . .used a con-"

He silenced me, "I know."

"So did you ever think I could get pregnant?"

His hand came down to my stomach, spanning across it as his eyes foundm ine, "You think maybe. . . .?"

I shrugged, "It could be a possibility."

His face paled and then colored before he smiled, "Maybe we can see a doctor there?"

His reaction was reassuring and I kissed him before nodding and finally turning in his arms ot eat the crackers.

Our flight went without a real hitch even though I got sick twice and a little frightened when the pilot announced how high up we were. Dad and Anna met us at the gates, Dad greeting Matt like the son he wished Rodney was. It was a good thing we'd brought Zacky though, because Matt-who'd been up with me most of the morning since I was sick-made for grumpy company for my dad, who understood. Him and Zacky got along well.

Lorrie, Anna, and I sat in the back of Dad's new SUV and talked animatedly. Anna, however, had eyes and before we made it back to Dad's house, she asked, "Are you feeling okay, 'El? You're looking pale."

"I . . . got sick on the plane." I shrugged and gave Anna a look that basically told her I'd tell her what was up later.

Dad looked in the mirror at me, "Did you have to fight with your mom about coming?"

"Not as much as I thought I would. She mostly protested Matt coming." I sighed.

Dad chuckled, "Well that was expected. Your mom doesn't want you to grow up, 'El."

"I know, Daddy."

Zacky snickered because he'd never heard me talk to my dad before. Matt punched his leg and Lorrie giggled. Anna smiled, "So protective."

"Was Daddy ever like that?"I grinned. I couldn't remember them dating really.

"Oh, not to that degree." She smiled again in remembrance, "But yes he was pretty protective."

"Zacky's never been like that." Lorrie sighed.

"No, I've been too busy digging you outta fights and arguments. You don't give me a chance to be protective." He laughed.

Matt looked back at me, his hair messy and his eyes bloodshot, "Daniellea, can you come up here?"

"Sure, baby. Zacky, switch me." I nudge dhim.

"Be careful, kids." Dad warned as we both unbuckled. I slipped over the seat and Zacky manuevered himself into the middle of Anna and Lorrie. I opened up Matt's arms and leaned against his chest. He clamped them around me, pointedly avoiding my stomach, causing me to smile. He almost made me want to be.

He was asleep when we stopped in front of Dad and Anna's bigger-than-most house. I nudged him as Lorrie laughed about me being a human teddy bear. Matt's grip on me because almost painful as he muttered in his sleep. I yelped and his eyes popped open, his arms immediately releasing, "What?"

"You squeezed too tight." I pouted at him.

"Sorry princess." He scrubbed his face.

Dad looked back at him, "We'll take care of the bags, you guys go sleep."

He nodded, "Thanks, sir."

"Lester." Dad help up his hand.

Matt smiled a little and nodded again. I jumped out of the SUV and he followed. Anna looped an arm around me as we went toward the house, pullingme slightly away from Matt, "There's a bun in the oven isn't there?"

"We're not sure yet. I haven't been to the doctor." I looked at her startled.

She let out a little laugh, "You learn to read people and their actions. Matt's careful handling, his protectiveness, you getting sick . . .not hard to put together. We'll go tomorrow if you want, there are good doctors here."

"Okay." I nodded and she pointed up the big stairs in the foyer.

"Up those and it's the last room in the left wing." She smiled.

I smiled back, "Thanks, Anna."

"No problem, hun."

I waited for Matt to catch up and we stumbled into the room. Both of us stripped down to what we normally slept in and he snuggled me against his chest. I stroked his arm, "Tomorrow."

In reply his hand splayed against my stomach.