Forever and Always

Two and a half years later

"That is mine!" I heard MC whining from the living room. Truly, he was too old to whine now.

"No that's not yours and you know it, MC. What's your deal?" Matt said gruffly, sounding half awake, "That's a baby toy. Let your little brother have it."

I sighed, sitting back for a second, glad that he was awake and taking care of the kids. At two, Jonathan Brian Owen (named after Zacky/Johnny, Brian, and Jimmy) and Laura Grace were handfuls on their own, but to pair them up with MC at six they were holy terrors. Rarely, did I get a break from them unless Matt was home from tour and not in the studio. I rubbed my eyes and wandered into the living room. Gracie was sitting on her father's lap, watching music videos and chewing on breakfast cereal. MC was playing with cars in the floor while Joey-no one really knew how we nicknamed him Joey- was playing with building blocks not far from him. The supposed baby toy was no where in sight.

I leaned over and kissed MC's dark head, his hair still ruthlessly cut like Matt's short hair. He insisted on it. Joey, having spied me, reached with both arms. His equally as dark hair fell in ringlets to his shoulders, just like his sister's. Every time Matt saw him, he begged me to let him cut it, and I always said no. Eventually, I'd start straightening it, showing off what beautiful hair he had.

Matt glanced at me and glanced away, "Hey. They were up when I got here. I've not been to bed yet."

I nodded, "Come on, kids, let's go get dressed and let Daddy take a nap. MC, could you please get your clothes on yourself so I can dress Grace and Joey?"

"Sure, Mommy. Daddy, what's wrong?" MC had become an intuitive kid.

"Nothing, son. Just go and do what your mom said, okay?" He rubbed MC's head and kissed Grace on the cheek before handing her to me.

I caught hold of Joey's hand and lead them into their bedroom in the apartment we'd never moved out of, instead turning the den into another room for them. I'd just got Gracie dressed in her favorite pants and shirt when Matt cleared his throat from the door, "Can I help? I can't sleep."

I shrugged, "I guess. You don't have to ask, Matt, they're your kids too."

"Yeah, I know. Only it seems like they barely know me." He reached for Joey, "Hey, there, little man. What shirt do you want to wear?"

"He likes the one Zacky gave him for his birthday." I pointed when Joey didn't answer him.
Matt nodded before stopping and turning to me, "See. Joey won't talk to me. Gracie took almost an hour to crawl up on my lap. Is it simply because I'm never here?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

He set Joey back on the floor and took Gracie from me. His hands laced with mine and pulled me to him, "Is that the reason why we're so messed up?"

"No. We're so messed up because you messed around with girls on the last two tours you were on, Matt. Not just one but two. You broke my heart and made me feel like shit." I shook my head, trying to pull away from him.

"And you don't believe me when I tell you I didn't sleep with any of those girls. They were lying to get fucking money from me."

"Watch your language and you know what? I almost believed that until that girl told me what you have tattooed right above your ass, Matt." I glared.

His eyes got wide, "That's what changed your mind? That's why you think I'm lying?"

I nodded.

He shook his head, "Daniellea, you . . . oh my fucking god. I know, I know, language. No seriously, I've been in four videos without pants on, thanks to our wonderful friends who think we have to have nudity in all of our videos and they just love to volunteer me. Come on, anyone can tell you what I have tattooed right above my ass. And if they knew what it meant . . ."

I gasped, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

He rolled his eyes, "I know this. Come on, let's just . . .finish dressing the kids and then we can talk about it. Or make up. Or whatever. Oh, and Daniellea?"

"Hum?"

"With Jimmy and Brian getting married, Johnny and Victoria are expecting their first, and Zacky and Lorrie finally getting engaged we've all decided to take a break from touring and recording. We'll still have a few shows here and there but no studio and no touring for a while. Like for the biggest part of the next year. I want my kids to know me, Dani. And I want them to love me as much as I love them. Most of all, I want my wife to not turn away from me anymore or see me as just a relief from stress. I love you." He drew me close again.

I laid my head on his chest, all anger forgotten as I cried silent tears for what we'd become. Matt's love and support had always been there, and would always be there like it was now.
Glancing down at the ring on my finger I was taken with how often a promise I'd cherished was forgotten in the busy day to day life I lead. How I had resentful thoughts of Matt not caring anymore when once he slipped this same three diamond ring onto my hand with a promise to always care like he did at that time and he always had.

He drew my hand up to kiss my fingers, "I meant for eternity when I said it, Daniellea. I'll always mean it. Please never doubt me again."

I kissed his lips and shook my head, "Never ever again. For ever and for always."

And typical of every special moment of our lives, it was interrupted. This time was a cry of "Ouchie, Jojo!"