Forever and Always

"Loud!" MC's eyes were wide as we stood off to the left of the stage, watching the guys' sound check.

I rubbed the back of his head, "Daddy's loud, isn't he?"

"Yeah! Daddy's cool!" He grinned, looking up at me with a grin before turning his attention back to the stage. I laughed and kept my arm around him. Even before the show started the crowd backstage was crushing.

"Hey! You might wanna get that kid out of here." I heard from beside of me. I turned to see a girl with dark, ironed-flat hair and a nasty scowl.

"He's watching his father work, he's fine." I waved her off.

"Um, looks to me like he's watching the band do a sound check. All of the roadies are already back at the bus." She smirked.

I didn't get a chance to respond. MC pulled on my hand, "Daddy's waving at us."

I looked out to see Matt waving at us. When he saw he had my attention, he winked. I grinned and blew a kiss in his direction.

"You're M's wife?" The woman sounded shocked, "I'm sorry, I expected-"

"I'm his fiance, actually. And it's okay. I don't exactly look like the girlfriend of a rockstar." I shrugged. This was true. I was dressed in jeans and a regular t-shirt with no outstanding jewelry of any kind. I'd thrown my hair up out of my face cause of the heat and my make up was smeared. If Matt wasn't constantly groping me most day, I'd have to wonder what exactly it was he saw in me.

"They sound awesome. You must be so proud. He talks about you all the time. And his son. I'm surprised I didn't piece it together." She smiled at me so fakely.

I arched an eyebrow, "And who might you be?"

"Hey, baby!" This caused me to jerk in the direction of Matt's voice. He was walking over, a sheen of sweat covering his skin, "We're going out to eat before we go on stage. Oh, hey, Roxy."

Roxy? "Sure, where're we going?"

"Brian's apparently craving waffles. What do you say, little man?" Matt bent down to MC's level, "You want some blueberry waffles?"

"Yeah!" He laughed and hugged Matt's neck, "Daddy, I love you."

Matt beamed a smile and ruffled MC's hair, "I love you too, buddy. Come on, up you go." He lifted him onto his shoulders, "Let's go, baby. Roxy, you comin'?"

"No thanks." She shook her head, "I don't eat breakfast food."

Or anything else from the ultra-skinny look of her. I smirked, "I think my boys could eat breakfast at any meal. I'm sure they have other stuff there to eat."

"That's fine. I'll eat here. Thanks though." She turned abruptly and walked away.

Matt blinked at her back, "She's weird. Anyway, let's get going." I smiled up at him and let him take my hand as we walked toward where the guys were waiting. Brian lifted MC off of Matt's shoulders to play with him as we all headed toward the Escalade parked behind the bus and trailer. Matt pulled me closer as soon as he did and kissed my neck, "How is MC liking it, princess?"

"He's loving it. He thinks you're so cool." I laughed and snuggled my head into his shoulder.

"Humm. And you? Think you'll like tour?" He smiled down at me, kissing my forehead at the end of his question.

I nodded, "Yeah of course. I get to be with you, watch you sing every day. Nothing could be better. Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's Roxy?" I frowned.

"She's a guitar tech for some other band on tour. She was on another tour we were on and she kinda hung around that time too. Like I said, she's weird but the guys enjoy her company." He gave me a squeeze, "Why?"

"Oh. She just tried to tell me I needed to get MC out from backstage. I thought maybe she was a tour manager or something." I shrugged.

"Nope. Where's the keys?" He held out his hand.

I dug them out of my pocket with a relieved sigh. I hated driving this giant land yacht and Matt knew it, but it was perfect for us and our extended family without seeming too old-timer-ish like a van would have. He handed me up into the passenger seat with a grin, most probably biting back short jokes and ran around the front to hop in. I turned and saw Zacky and Brian trying to figure out MC's booster seat. Matt laughed, "Hey, guys . . .he can do it on his own."

"He can?" Brian looked at the kid with a smirk, "And when were you going to tell me this?"

"When you and Uncle Zacky stopped being goofy. Gimme." He grabbed he seat belt with chubby fingers and snapped it into place. At our urging, Brian pulled to make sure it was secure and sat down, Zacky having already done so. Finally we took off.

Between feeding MC and the rest of the grown-ups-turned-children, there was a lot of laughter and we were almost late getting back to the show. We probably would have been if it hadn't been for a bunch of the guys' fans coming by to say they were headed back to the venue to see them play. This reminded Matt to check the clock and we made a mad dash for the SUV. Just before he went on stage, he hugged MC and pulled me to him in a very heated kiss. As soon as he was out there, I was tapped on the shoulder.

I turned to see Roxy standing there, "Yeah?"

"He's going to break a lot of hearts bringing you out here. Half of their female fans are in love with them, especially Matt, Brian, and Zacky. Jimmy and Johnny have their groupies too but it's going to be a major blow to their fan base, learning that M. Shadows is taken." She smirked.

I was half-tempted to ask if she had a problem with the fact that I was on tour or with the fact that I existed. I decided to clue her in instead, "Matt was taken way before M. Shadows was ever thought about. I love Matt and he loves me and our son. His career comes second and he'll be the first to say that. So if you'll excuse me, I think MC and I will go sit with the sound guy."

"Do you even know his name?"

"Does that even matter? I'm sure he won't care." Quite the bitch isn't she? I don't know how Matt put up with her even for the guys. I scooped MC up onto my hip again, "Let's go, honey."

"Mama, is Daddy a moo-can?" He twitched his nose at me.

"A what, baby?" I tried not to giggle as I walked toward where the sound man was sitting.

The sound guy grinned at me, "It's little Shads and the momma. How're you doing?"

"Good other than super b-er, witch. Now what were you asking me?" I asked MC.

"A moo-can. You know, Mama." It took me a second to process.

"Is Daddy a musician?" He nodded, "Yeah, he is. So is Uncle Zacky, Uncle Syn, Jimmy, and Johnny. What do you think about that?"

"I wanna be a moo-can." He grinned and turned his full attention back to his father. I wondered if Matt knew exactly how much MC adored him.

"So . . .super witch? We're talking about Roxy, right?" The sound guy fiddled switch as he asked this.

"Yeah. What is her problem?" I huffed, making sure to keep MC as far away from the soundboard as I could so he wouldn't screw something up.

"She's just like that. She gets jealous of other girls on tour. Don't think anything about it. Plus that and she's been trying to hang out with the guys forever now and every once in a while Zacky or Brian take pity on her and let her on the bus with them for a few hours but not often. They like her well enough but they don't like how she acts. So don't worry about it. Wow, they're doing great tonight. I wish sometimes I could just turn off Brian's mic though." He smirked.

I did too. It was a running joke that for all of his skills on guitar, Brian couldn't sing no matter how badly he wanted to. Matt still let him sing back up and no one really complained. There were days when he was better than others, and from the look on Matt's face as well as the sound guys, this wasn't one of them. I laughed a little when Matt cringed and messed with one of his ear pieces but was cut short by my cell phone ringing. I snatched it out of my pocket and carried MC off away from the stage so I could hear better as I answered it, "Hello?"

"El, is that you?" That would be my dad.

"Daddy! Hi! How are you?" I couldn't contain my smile.

"I'm doing good, baby girl. How's my grandson?" This was Dad's new favorite question

"He's a handful, just like his daddy. Oh, I can't wait to come see you and bring MC. You'll love him." Daddy had only seen MC a couple of times in the boy's short life because of how frequently Matt was out of town, we rarely got to take family vacations to go see my father.

"I'd bet. What's all that noise, sweetheart?"

"That's Matt's band, Daddy. I'm at one of their shows. Me and MC are going with them this time. Matt missed us too much last time."

"They sound good. Sounds like they have a lot of fans too."

"They do. They're great." I couldn't help it. I was proud of them. "How's Anna?"

"She's doing well; getting big." He was grinning, I could tell. Anna was in her second trimester of pregnancy, a turn of life baby, and they were both elated. Anna had always wanted another kid.

"Do you know if it's a girl or a boy yet?"

"Another little girl. That's what I was calling about. I wanted to talk to you, to tell you that I love you and no matter how many little girls I have, you're always going to be my baby."

"Aw, Daddy. You didn't honestly think I would be mad did you? I'm a grown woman with a kid. I won't be jealous and I can't wait to see her!" I moved the phone out of MC's reach and scrunched up my nose at him. He laughed and reached for the phone again, playing a game. "Hey, you want to talk to Grandpa Lester, MC?"

"Grandpa!" He laughed and clapped.

I divided my attention between MC's conversation, which was short, and Matt's show. Finally, he handed the phone back and we said our goodbyes with tears clogging my father's throat. No more than a few moments later, Matt and the guys said their goodnights to the crowd. He grabbed a water bottle and poured it over his head, toweling it off before leaning in to
kiss me. MC laughed at him and reached to place small arms around his neck, "Daddy!"

"Hey little man. Umm, come here, I need another." He pulled me back for another kiss. I smiled into it and almost laughed when Zacky came by and took MC telling him he didn't need to see that. Matt picked me up so my legs wrapped around his waist and carried me blindly in the direction he knew the bus to be as we kissed. He finally stopped when we bumped into a few people and pulled my head down to his shoulder, "I needed that."

I smiled into his shoulder, "I noticed. So did I." Especially after Roxy making me feel like shit twice today. I had to admit, Barbie gone punk as she was, she was gorgeous. I was rather
plain and always had been.

"How were we?" He seemed anxious.

"You were great! I had a hard time paying attention to anything but you."

"And your phone." He stuck his tongue out.

I laughed, "My dad called. He talked to me a few about Anna and how she's doing. She's having a little girl."

"Aw." He made a face. It'd been common knowledge when I was pregnant with MC that Matt had wanted a little girl to spoil.

"It makes me want to have another." I pouted.

He learned in to kiss my bottom lip and pulled back a bit, "No harm in trying."

"Are you saying we're ready for another?" I frowned a bit.

"I've been ready."

Music to my ears. I pulled him back in for another kiss, his hands going to my thighs to keep me pressed against him. He moved his mouth to nibble on my neck, "Come on, baby, let's hurry and get to the bus."

"Okay." It came out breathless and wonder-filled. It'd been a while since it'd felt like this with either of us, our days crammed full of Matt's studio/promo work and me taking care of MC and our nights filled with family time that we rarely got to be together like this. Even when one of the girls babysat for us, we still were in family mode, talking and only doing things that had to do with our son and our family in general. Having sex was still something we did at extremely emotional times and rarely ever otherwise.

Hours later, Matt got up and pulled on his boxers, "I'm going to go see what they did with our son. Do you want something to drink or something?"

"Please?" I smiled at him and rolled over onto my stomach. He bent to kiss my lips, pushing back my long hair and then walked out of the bunk area. A few moments later, he came back with two bottles of water and laid back down.

"MC's sleeping in Brian's bunk." He kissed my cheek and snuggled me closer, "So we have our bunk to ourselves tonight." Then the next day I had to follow them in the Escalade again. Fun, fun.

"Umm. I love you." I curled closer to him.

"I love you too. Especially the way you look in my t-shirts." He grinned, fingering the hem of his shirt that came down almost to my knees.

I laughed and pulled lightly at his hair, "What are your plans for tomorrow when we stop?"

"Feeding my babies." He kissed my forehead, "And then going to get that new tattoo I
wanted. And I was wondering . . ."

"Hum?"

"Would you get one?"

"Of what?"

"That's entirely up to you. I just think you'd like being inked. I know I love it." He turned on his side to look at me.

"Everyone says it's addictive. I think I'd like to get the death bat on my shoulder. Something
like that."

"As our first loyal fan, that's understandable." He grinned, obviously remembering highschool when I really was their first real fan.

"Or your and MC's name somewhere."

"That's a guy's thing. What about black angel wings, right here?" He traced my shoulder blade, "And maybe MC wrote beneath it?"

"I like it. Do you think Zacky will sit down and draw it for me?"

"Probably, you just have to ask him. So you'll definitely get one with me?"

"Umhum." I yawned.

He kissed me again, lightly and pulled the sheet up farther, "Get some sleep, princess."
I smiled at the nickname, and tried to fall asleep.

It didn't seem like I'd been asleep maybe a couple of hours when a cry filled the bus. Matt raised up, bumping his head and cursed. I stifled a laugh and crawled over him to walk out into the lounge. MC was crying on the floor. Zacky was standing over him and on the floor was one of Zacky's guitars, one of the strings broken. Matt came in behind me, "What the hell's going on?"

"What's a moo-can?' Zacky asked me.

"A musician. Why?" I went over and pulled MC up to standing. He hid his face in my leg as he cried hiccupping sobs.

"Cause your little hellion wanted to be a moo-can and was playing with my guitar. It scared
me when he dropped it cause I wasn't expecting it and I yelped. I guess he got scared I was mad or something."

Matt frowned, "Buddy, did Uncle Zacky scare you?"

"Uh-huh. I'm sowwi, Uncle Zacky. I didn't mean to-"

"Hey, little man, it's okay. I've dropped it loads of times, you didn't hurt it. Come here, I'll fix it and you can try again." Zacky soothed him. I smiled a bit as slowly MC detached himself from my leg.

Matt rubbed his head, "It's like having two kids on the bus, except one of them is as big as me. Anyway, you got this under control, man?"

"Yeah, sorry we woke you."

"It's fine. We need to eat and get on the road anyway. I'm going to get dressed, you coming, princess?"

"Yeah." I followed him to the back and pulled on the same clothes I had on yesterday. I'd shower and change when we stopped at the next venue. He pulled me to him in a soft kiss.

"Good morning. Now explain . . .moo-can?"

I laughed, "He hasn't quite learned to say musician, Matt. He wants to be a musician like his daddy and his uncles."

He grunted, a slight smile on his face, "Huh. Took him long enough to get curious, don't you think?"

"Meh. He didn't really get to see what you guys do until yesterday. He's so amazed by you. You have quite the daddy's little man on your hands." I tiptoed to lightly wrap my arms around his neck. He rubbed my arms and grinned. He obviously loved the idea.

"Guys, we're about to pull out!" Johnny came to the back.

"Okay, okay. Can you go put MC in the car? I'll be out there in just a second." I grabbed my shoes and slipped them on before giving Matt another kiss. Johnny gave me a hug when I came out to get in the car.

"Drive carefully, Dani."

"Thanks, Johnny." I grinned and hopped in the car. MC was munching on animal crackers and drinking milk. I cringed slightly, knowing that if he spilled it it would smell like no other by the time we got to the venue but figured it was better that he was eating and drinking now instead of having to stop later and losing the bus. I'd told Matt this was going to be a hassle.