Forever and Always

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath, pulling a clean shirt over my head as the bus gave a lurch. MC had wanted to play video games with his uncles last night so we'd spent the night on the bus and no one woke us up in enough time to get into the car and follow this morning when it started moving. I was grumpy from falling out of the bunk and bumping my head before promptly standing up and puking. Matt was worried and grumpy too so we weren't having the best day.

Jimmy handed me a can of pop, "Here, drink this. It's not diet, I know, but it's all we have until we stop again."

"Thanks, Jimmy. Where's Brian and Johnny?" I asked, sitting down. I figured they were on the top level of the tall bus with the crew.

I was right. "Hanging out with the terrible twosome. Brian was intent on getting hammered before the show and I gave up trying to talk him out of it so Johnny dragged him up there to get him away from the beer. Matt and MC are in the front of the bus, playing guitar with Zacky." He pointed.

I smiled. This had started the day we came back from Paris and it was something Zacky and Matt loved to do. MC was smart and learned fast. Brian joined them sometimes and explained things better than just showing him them like they did so it really was a family effort to teach our son music. I walked in and watched them from the side. Matt glanced up and smiled every once in a while, but neither of us did anything to distract MC. It didn't take him long to get tired though and he whined for Matt to play games with him. Matt set the guitar off to the side, "Okay, MC, what do you want to play?"

"Umm . . ." He frowned and hopped up to run back to Matt's bunk where his bag was.

Matt arched his eyebrows at me, "Okay . . ."

"He has memory cards in his backpack." I smiled at him.

"Oh. How're you feeling, princess?" He held his arms out to me.

I curled up on his lap, "Like shit."

"Aw." He kissed my forehead, "I heard you get sick. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Must have been that greasy pizza last night." I made a face.

He scrunched up his nose, "You and your whole aversion to greasy food and non-diet pop.
No wonder you get sick at anything else."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, it's called being healthy."

"I'm as healthy as a horse." He motioned to his oversized arms with his eyebrows raised.

"And you travel with a gym." I reminded him.

"She's got you there." Zacky pointed out, tipping back a beer afterward.

"Mommy, play memory with me." MC demanded as he came back in the room.

Matt scoffed, "You don't want me to play?"

"No." He shook his head and plopped down in the floor to lay out his cards, "Mommy's better."

"Why?" Zacky asked.

"Cause she pretends to lose so I can win." He giggled.

I laughed, "Then play with Daddy and Uncle Zacky and see if you can really win. Mommy doesn't feel like playing, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy. Daddy, come play wif me." He motioned for Matt to join him in the floor as Brian and Jimmy came in.

Matt tapped my leg, "Let me up, our brat is being the most demanding he's ever been."

This was true. Normally, MC was full of please and thank you's. Today he was just insisting that we play. Unusual behavior for him but I wasn't protesting much-he wasn't a bad kid, there was no sense in jumping his case for it happening once.

I watched them playing in the floor, thrown over the couch in the front lounge. Once or twice I felt nauseous but the rest of the time I was fine. That was until the bus came to a noisy, bumpy stop. Immediately, I flew up and into the bathroom.

Slender fingers held back my hair, Brian's voice asking if I needed anything. As soon as I was done, I nodded, "Matt."

"Okay. Yo, dude, here." I felt shuffling behind me and Matt cradled me in his arms.

"Are you okay, princess?" He rubbed my back.

"No. That's nasty." I shuddered and made a face as I flushed the toilet.

He sighed, "I know it is. Why don't I unhook the car and take you to the doctor?"

"No, that's okay. I'm sure it's just something I ate or a stomach virus. Give me a few days to see if I get better." Matt was a worrier. Any little sign of me or MC being ill and he immediately wanted to take us to the doctor yet wouldn't go himself until he had to.

"Okay just promise me you'll go when you need to." He brought my face up to look at me solemnly.

I nodded, "I will."

"Alright. Here," He went of the bathroom, scooping me up to sit me on his bunk. He rummaged around until he found one of the few washcloths that didn't need washing and went to wet it. When he come back out he tenderly washed my face, stroking the side of it with his free hand. When he was done, he smiled at me, "Feel better?"

"Much. You take such good care of me, Matt." I reached to hug him.

"No, I don't." He shook his head, "Or else you wouldn't have had an infection, you wouldn't be sick now."

I frowned at him, "You're not a god, Matt, and you can't keep a human from getting sick or getting infections. It just happens. Would you accuse me of being a bad mother if MC got sick a lot?"

"No. I'm the man, I'm supposed to protect and provide." He sighed, sitting down beside me, "And I dragged you along on this stupid tour that's been nothing but misery for you. You're exhausted from driving, you got infected from a tattoo I wanted you to get, you're puking today. I should have never suggested you come along and maybe you'd be fine at home."

"I'd have never gotten to see you on stage with MC at a time when he was impressionable enough to make you and the guys seem like gods in his eyes. I'd never have gotten to sleep in a bunk with you, pressed so tight we can barely breath and it never feel better because it's you I'm with. We'd never have gotten to spend so much time together with MC. And that amazing mind numbing sex we had when I came back from Paris wouldn't have happened either." I reminded him.

He paused with his mouth open after I made my final point and nodded, "You're right. It wouldn't have. I'm sorry for feeling the way I do-"

"You can't help it, you just want to do the best you can for me and MC. I appreciate it, Matt, more than you know but you know what? You can look around you at any given moment and collect enough proof of just how great you are for us, besides me always telling you so." I turned so that I straddled his lap, "And I'm going to hope to hell you never doubt that again cause I know what it's like to have an absent dad, to see a mother deal with not being loved and not having help to raise her kids. So when you think you're being unfair to us or not good enough, open your pretty eyes and realize that you're not just a great boyfriend and terrific dad, but the best there is. You talked once of giving me a good family like I'd never had before. You went beyond that, Matt. You gave me a picture perfect family."

He shook his head, "No, I haven't."

"Matt-"

"I've never given you one of these." He reached under his pillow and pulled out a small velvet box. Slowly he opened it to show me a simple silver band with three diamonds set into. He looked down at it, "When Zacky and I went to the jewelry store, the woman called it an eternity ring. I asked her why. She said the three diamonds represent eternity, past, present, and future. I immediately said that was the ring for us because I wanted to be your past-"

"You are. You've always been there, since we were kids back in highschool."

He nodded, "Your present, obviously, and hopefully your future. We talk all the time that we're engaged and have a wedding to plan but we never do it. And I figured out why. Because I've never gotten up the guts to ask. I just assumed we were like I assumed back then that we were dating when we weren't yet. So . . . Daniellea, will you marry me?"
I didn't answer him, I just threw my arms around his neck. When he felt a warm tear touch his shoulder, he chuckled, "I hope that's a happy tear and not an 'oh, shit, I'm stuck with this goober' one."

I laughed, "More than happy." I started to back up and kiss him when my stomach lurched again. Fuck, a happy moment ruined by a toilet bowl of puke.