Forever and Always

I groaned and thumped my head to the table in front of me. So much for being excited about the wedding. The colors I picked for the flowers couldn't be got, the dress I wanted showed that I was pregnant way too much, and my feet were swelling so I couldn't buy shoes to match the ugly dress I ended up with. Laura and Lorrie both wanted to be my maid of honor so I left them to duke that out and they were getting on my nerves with it. Matt had begged me to let him not have to wear anything too weird looking so I was trying to help him pick that out and to top it all off? My mom was taking a fit over several things. The first of which was that we didn't take care of MC well enough to even be thinking about having more children.

Thankfully, Matt's mother stepped in on that one. I absolutely adored this woman.

"No offense, but being as you see MC, Daniellea, and Matt three times a year, I don't think you're really the one to judge them on how well they take care of their son. MC's a bright, happy kid and Matt and Daniellea are doing very well." See why I loved her?

Mom scoffed, "How can they be when Daniellea spends all of her time asleep and Matt's never here?"

"I sleep because I'm carrying two extra people around, Mom. And Matt's here now. He rarely ever leaves except to go to the studio and he usually only does that when MC's at school. What's crawled up your ass?" I snapped, throwing down the pastel horror of a wedding planning book.

"I just think you're making a big mistake. Twenty-one is too young to know what you want or who you want and it's certainly too young to have three kids. You know I've never approved of you and Matt being together." She huffed.

Again Mrs. Sanders stepped in, "Why wouldn't you approve of it? Matt's always been a good kid-"

"You're his mother, of course you'd think that."

"That's not necessarily true, Mom. You've always thought the worst of me. How does being a mother mean you automatically worship your kids?" I really was curious as to that.

"I'm realistic about you, Daniellea, but everyone knows mothers adore their sons-" A little too much in some cases, i.e. hers. "- and that no mother is going to say their son was and has been a rotten person."

"First of all, if Matt had ever been that type of person, I'd admit to it. I know my son's faults-he's hot tempered, but soft hearted. It gets him in trouble and he's not exactly scholar material-"

"Matt's very intelligent; he just doesn't show it." I protested.

Mrs. Sanders smiled at me and patted my hand, "We know that, but we pretend otherwise. It makes him feel less guilty about dummying down. Anyway, Matt is human and errs like any other but you seem to think he's someone that he's not, just like you do your daughter."

"No offense, Mrs. Sanders, but I think I know my daughter a little better than you."

A scoffing noise was heard from the doorway. I turned on my stool to see Matt standing there.

He came over and kissed the back of my neck, "I know better than that. My mom and Daniellea had this instant bond and she talks to my mom more than I do. Certainly more than she talks to you or even wants to talk to you. No offense, but you don't know shit about Daniellea. Baby, I need to head out. Are you and MC okay here tonight?" The band had a show a few towns away but they'd only be gone overnight.

I nodded, "We're fine. Thanks for coming and saying bye."

"Like I'd not do that. MC's down for his nap and he has food in the fridge. Ummm." He kissed me sweetly, "Bye, princess."

"Bye." I watched him walk from the room.

Mrs. Sanders looked at my mom, "And you don't want them to get married? Truth is Matt's father has never looked at me the way Matt looks at Dani, yet we've been married for twenty-six years. I've never had the urge to watch him leave the room like she does, like I can't take my eyes off my husband. They're more than what most married couples are."

I smiled at her, "Thank you so much. Can I ask a favor?"

"Of course, dear." She smiled back.

"Could you speak at our reception instead of the best man? See, Matt picked Zacky to be his best man but Zacky confessed he doesn't really feel like he knows us as a couple like he does as separate people because he's always really absorbed in his own relationship. You know us better than anyone else and watched us start and get to this point. It would mean so much to us and-"

"Of course I will. I'm flattered you asked." She hugged me and placed her hand on my
stomach, "Have they started kicking yet?"

"Nope. I'm sure they will soon. We're so excited." I grinned. We were too. Before she could respond, my mom cleared her throat.

"Anyway, what are we doing about the flowers?"

I sighed, "Well we wanted black and red ones, but since the black is looking more purple I figured we'd go with red and white with black tips."

"Sounds good to me. I had an idea on the shoes." Mrs. Sanders pulled a book toward her, "It's kind of in fashion, which I know makes it bad to you, but under the circumstances . . ." She showed me a page advertising everything from high-heels to thong sandals. She had circled a pair of red ballet shoes.

I smiled, "That's a really good idea. When I was on dance team we wore ballet slippers, so I know how they're suppose to fit and they do give for when your feet swell and blister. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that."

"That place we use to buy yours at sells colored ones, Daniellea, cheaper than this book. It's off of Pacific Coast Highway, behind the park."

"I know the place, it's right by our house." Mrs. Sanders told Mom. I raised my eyebrows at the new, friendlier tone of voice they were both using. Maybe Mom just needed someone to put her in her place.

"Let's talk about something other than the wedding for a bit. Have you guys found a new place?" Mom got up and moved toward the coffee pot that actually held decaffeinated, although she didn't know that.

"We think we have. Matt made an offer on it last week, we're just waiting for the acceptance bid and closing papers. It's a beautiful place, not far from the highschool actually. Matt really wants our kids to go there, he still talks about how much he liked it there, despite the fact that it was a school." I smiled.

Mrs. Sanders giggled girlishly, "Quite honestly, Daniellea, I knew then that the only reason Matt dragged himself off to school everyday was because that's where you were. That was the only school we didn't have to pull him out of on the account of fighting."

Mom's eyes practically burned, "He use to fight Rodney all the time."

"That's cause Rodney's an asshole, Mom. He was just taking care of me." I sighed as I heard MC stirring in the living room. I stood to see over the divider between the living room and the kitchen. He was coloring on the floor. I had to admit he was a good kid but I kind of worried that he wasn't growing up right. He never had other kids to play with and his head-start teacher said he spent a lot of time by himself instead of interacting with the other kids. I knew when the twins were born and they got old enough that that would be more than enough social interaction for him but that didn't help him now.

"He reminds me so much of Matt at that age. Until Matt's dad put him on the pee-wee football team, he was quiet and shy. After that he was loud and boisterous, yet he was still like a mini-adult. MC never gets loud when he stays with us; he's always coloring or playing videogames in Matt's old room. He refuses to sleep anywhere else, did you know that?" Mrs. Sanders smiled over at her grandson.

I shook my head, "No I didn't, but I figured it might be like that. He's super clingy as far as Matt's concerned."

"That's because he's away so much." Mom interjected, "You were the same with your dad,
Daniellea. Every time you spent the weekend with him, you didn't want to come home and you cried for three days wanting your daddy." Yep, definitely sounded like MC, who never ever wanted Matt to leave and always cried for a while when he did. Magazine articles with Matt's picture in it and our family photos littered the walls of his room as well as cartoon characters and band posters-some handed down from Zacky, Brian, Jimmy, and Johnny and some acquired upon request. He was already quite the little music buff.

"I think I'm going to let him go on the road with Matt more often. He loved every second of it, and so did Matt. That and plus taking care of him while taking care of the twins without Matt around to help will be hard." I smiled a bit, watching as MC searched the floor for a crayon before getting up off the floor and running into the kitchen, drawing in hand. He handed it to me and I felt like crying. It was a drawing of him waving at a taller version of the same stick figure and above it read in his very childish scrawl: Bye Bye Daddy. I hugged him, "We'll hang this on the fridge so Daddy can see it when he gets home tomorrow night, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy. Promise Daddy will be home tomorrow?" He looked up at me with wide eyes.

I nodded and rubbed his back, "Yes, baby, I promise."

Too bad the bus made me out to be a liar.