All the Small Things

I was left with no choice but to kill Benji violently, hide behind the bikesheds and call Chrissie. This is where I thank God that she has no life to speak of, because she picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Chrissie, Angel's back!"

There was a puzzled silence. "Yeah, I knew that..."

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"He's bloody gorgeous."

She sighed loudly down the phone. "Well that doesn't half complicate things. Felix, you sure can pick 'em".

"I know. Shut up."

By my ear not taken up by Chris dithering and being useless, I heard something. Something that sounded alarmingly like shuffling.

"Shit, Chrissie, seriously shut up."

"What? Fe, what the hell is-"

"Felix?"
A blonde head stuck itself round the back of the shed.

Oh shit

At lack of better things to do, I stood and did a striking resemblance to a guppy fish at feeding time while Angel looked at me like I was a mental outpatient.

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

"I'm on the phone..." I answered tentatively, waving my Cookie at him, failing to overlook the fact that it was bright pink and had 'Fairy" written on the back in black Sharpie.

He raised an eyebrow. Angel has these lovely, high-arched Jack Nicholson eyebrows which he uses to great effect and...

Dammit, if my brain carries on like this, I may just be forced to shoot myself in the head.

Angel raised the other one. "You want to shoot yourself in the head?"

Well, fuck it. I do now.