*** Normal

I watched as he challenged Brian to a game of Guitar Hero, knowing too well that he’d be too preoccupied to notice me watching his every move.

He’s been my best friend for what seems like forever now, though he was the last one who was convinced I should be granted permission to play with them. His excuse was that it wasn’t that I was bad at playing, but you can’t just show up in the band’s garage and just expect to automatically get a spot.

I sighed remembering, as if it was just yesterday, him standing there and arguing with Matt that I haven’t even earned the right to even sit in the room and listen to them, let alone play their songs. If you ask him now, however, he’ll swear up and down that he wouldn’t have any other play bass next to him for anything in the world.

As I watched his face morph a little in concentration, putting all of his attentions into beating Brian, who seemed to just flow through the song with ease, and couldn’t help but let my eyes wander a bit.

Zacky decided the weather was too hot to bother putting a shirt on when he got up and came to the front of the bus. His muscles rippled as he moved, tensing and relaxing, little beads of sweat starting to form due to the temperature and his undying aspiration for successful gaming. The pants he’d chosen just had to be my favorite ones; they barely clung to his hips allowing the skin visibility to be lower than usual. His hair was a natural bed head which in my opinion was much more sexy then when he has it styled for shows.

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to get these thoughts out of my head before they overwhelm me and I end up having to excuse myself to the bathroom to help myself or risk being sore later, and make sure it’s taken care of before someone notices and asks questions that no one wants to hear the truthful answers to.

That, of coarse, had to lead to memories of the first time they left for tour with the original bass player that no one, but myself, wanted to replace. They’d been gone for a little while leaving me with nothing to do since my time was spent trying to get with them which was found almost impossible. I was just moping about in my room, contemplating if I should just give up because they seem to be having success without me and would feel changing people around now would lead to the loss of their luck.

I could hear the phone ringing downstairs then my mom pick up and start talking to the person, so I figured it was for her and went back to my sulking. “Johnny,” my mom knocked lightly on my door and pushed it open a little, “it’s for you, someone wants to ask you something.” Right then was when my luck changed because their bass player had to leave for some reason and was wondering if I would take his place for a while.

Matt had put Zacky on the phone because he knew my skepticism about him saying everyone wanted me there, knowing he was what I was talking about. At first the deal was that I was just going to fill in for a while since I knew all the songs they had from listening to them. I agreed, half bummed since to my understanding I would only be there as a fill in, never imagining they would agree to make me permanent.

Sometimes I wish I had only been temporary because I wouldn’t be teased by someone who was so oblivious to how I feel about him, but I kept reminding myself that it’s better we’re just friends instead of saying something and messing it all up if he doesn’t feel the same way.

I bit the inside of my lip harder trying to repress the feelings again as I watched him give Brian the smirk that always made my heart do gymnastics and my lungs forget to work.

“Hey, Johnny, what’s up?” Matt thankfully interrupted my thoughts while tossing to the side the notepad, that he and Jimmy were hunched over in the back room for the last three hours before finally taking a break and decided to come out and be social.

“Nothing, just watching those two go at it again.” Liar! I screamed at myself knowing full well that I was thinking forbidden thoughts about his best friend.

Matt laughed as Zacky challenged Brian to yet again another round. “I get to pick the damned song this time.” He half growled, all serious.

It was so adorable. No! Stop! You can’t be thinking that, you’ll get kicked out of the band.

“Who you cheering for?” He asked, chuckling at the other two’s intensity.

Zacky, of coarse! “Brian usually wins, but Zacky looks pretty damned determined.”

Matt nodded in understanding and turned back to the ongoing battle.

“Success!” Zacky screamed throwing his arms into the air in victory. “What now, Gates?” He shot Brian a look before removing the plastic guitar from around his chest and turned to take a seat on the armchair in the corner.

In that second he’d been facing toward me, my eyes caught the edge of his pant line, the natural V leading from his hips into the depths of his unknown, almost like it was giving me directions to what I was wanting.

“Whatever, fucker, that’s one out of how many?” Brian laughed turning off the game and on the TV, also taking a seat.

“He’s got you there, Baker.” Matt shrugged earning himself a flip off from Zacky.

My opinion was that everyone was in a good mood because we were headed back home after too long of being on another tour.

“I’m going to bed, night bitches.” Jimmy waved us off as he started to go through the doors heading off toward the bunks.

“We should be back home in the morning so make sure your shit’s ready.” Brian called before the door was completely closed.

“Yes, mommy.” Rev poked his head back out to grin at him and bat his eyelashes.

Syn growled and chucked a pillow at Jimmy, but he was too quick and closed the door right before impact.

“I’m going too,” Matt added, getting up and following in suit. “Earlier to bed, the earlier we get home.”

Agreements came from Zacky and Brian having them get up and head back as well. Any other night I would have followed, but I didn’t want this night to end quite yet. I got up and sauntered over to fetch the remote and flicked aimlessly through the channels. As always there’s nothing to subdue my boredom and unholy thoughts so I let my control break and my mind wander to the unavoidable.

~~~~~~~~

“Johnny, wake up.”

I recognized the voice since it’s the same one that I think about all the time uncontrollably. I opened my eyes and seen him lying there beside me with a smile on his face, the only thing giving off the unpleasant and unquestionable indication that this was nothing more than just a dream were the puffs of smoke outlining my frame of vision.

“I love you, Z,” I whispered to him, filling my voice with all the love I possessed for him inside of me so he knew that I meant exactly what I said with all of my heart.

“Johnny, wake up.” In the dream Zacky reached out and shook me until I realized it wasn’t the dream but the real-life man of my dreams (literally) waking me from a pleasant slumber.

“Huh? What’s up, man?” I asked, propping myself up on one elbow and rubbing the sleep from my eyes with the other. Looking around I noticed we were alone in the makeshift bus living room, him standing back up now that I was awake.

“We’re almost home, I was told to wake you up so you can get your things ready.” He cleared his throat and took a couple steps back before heading back to the bunks once more, his face holding a light shade of pink probably due to just waking up.

I growled and dropped my head back down to the cushion, not able to help but wish that had been more then a dream though it was unmistakably nothing more than that.

~~~~~~~~

He was right, it hadn’t taken long for us to reach home, though the rain welcoming us was more depressing than I needed at the moment. I was the last one to get dropped off and went straight to throw my bags on my empty bed, tossing myself down behind them.

I wasn’t sure how long it was that I laid there pondering everything, trying to convince myself that he was out of my league and I should stop before I really mess everything up to a point of inabilities of bringing it back to normal.

Fuck normal. If normal meant I had to leave and never see him again, I’d rather just have him around instead of nothing at all.

The annoying chime of the doorbell going off made me grumble and get off my bed and head for the door assuming it was the annoying neighbors welcoming me home since I hadn’t heard the sound of a car pulling into the drive.

I opened the door and stepped back surprised to see a drenched Zacky standing there looking unbelievably cute with the rain water dripping from his hair and running down his face. “Zacky, what are you doing here,” I questioned, stepping out onto the walk and looked around for his car which was clearly not present.

“Did you mean it; what you said earlier on the bus?” He asked quickly, ignoring my search for his car.

“What? Z, why didn’t you drive here, you’re soaked!” I eyed him over and shook my head, taking another step toward him, ready to drag him inside and out of the downpour.

“I wasn’t thinking. Did you mean it?” He repeated.

“Mean what?”

“That you loved me.” His face was completely serious, his eyes piercing mine as he searched for his answer.

“Z- I- uh-” I stumbled a little, rubbing the back of my neck and looking at the ground for a second, inhaling before reconnecting our gaze.

“Did you?”

I sighed, here it goes, goodbye friendship. “Yes, but-” I tried to explain myself hoping to salvage any reason he might have to remain my friend.

He didn’t wait for me to explain myself. He lunged forward, capturing my lips with his. His one hand finding their way in my hair clutching wet clumps between his fingers, the other snaking around my waist. And there we stood in the pouring rain, finally together.

Fuck normal.