Fiend

“It’s your turn.”

The voice threw me off guard. Liam uttered words to me and the best part, a sentence. I could have jumped for joy at that moment but my kept my composure together. He held the phone in front of my face, waiting for me to take it. I sheepishly blushed as I noticed that I was staring at him like an idiot for a good few minutes instead of doing what he was expecting, taking the phone out of his grasp.

I released my grip on his bicep, “Um, thanks.”

The handle was sweaty and yet warm. He must have been nervous. But about what?

I scooted over as Liam stood up to trade seats with me. I was staring Jason in the face. His smile was genuine, appreciative. I tried to return that smile to him.

“How are you?” He asked me.

“I’m okay, things have been rough lately.”

“At home?”

“I am no longer home. You know that, Jason.”

“Yes, that is very unfortunate. Luckily, Liam is the nicest guy I know. He took you in with open arms didn’t he?”

“Yes he did.”

“Good. It’s a favor from me.”

“What?” I looked at Liam. He was staring down at his cellphone, punching in some random keys.

“I asked him if he could keep you there for a while, give you a nice, warm place to stay while you get yourself back on your feet. However, I asked you here so that I could make you a proposition.” Jason cleared his throat.

A proposition? “Which is?”

“I want to buy you an apartment. In the same building Liam and I are in. I’ll pay for it and then you can pay me back in due time. It is whatever you feel more comfortable with.”

I looked over at Liam who I felt I was growing a stronger yet non-audible connection with. Do I want to lose what I had been searching so long to find? I swallowed the invisible lump in my throat.

“Can I get back to you on my answer?” I hesitated answering him in front of Liam. This caused me to receive questioning stares from the both of them.

“How can you pass up an opportunity like this?” Jason nervously laughs.

“I’m not. I just…need some time to think.” I could see the imaginary weights making my shoulders heavier.

Jason nodded silently in agreement. Then, the guard presented himself by Jason’s side and told him that his time was up. Jason stood up from the other side of the glass and smiled as he turned his back on us. It was the end of the conversation and I wondered if it was going to be our last.



“Why won’t you speak to me?”

He was pretending to be consumed by the stupid television show but I knew he was simply just trying to ignore my question.

“Huh, Liam?”

“What did you say? I’m sorry.” He spoke under his breath.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“I’m not. I think it’s all in your head.”

“But you won’t speak to me.”

There was a pause. The silence started to sound like static.

“Don’t worry about it.” He got up and shut off the TV, “go to sleep, we have school tomorrow.”

I stood in his doorway for a few minutes, stunned by his behavior. Before I knew it, he shut his bedroom door in my face.

I opened the wide windows that showed off the New York City skyline. I stepped into the cool night air with the cement beneath my feet. The balcony was my only source of stability. I had mascara running down my face from crying for so many hours that night. I felt alone as I closed the windows behind me. I wanted nobody to find me and I doubt anyone had heard me when I screamed at the top of my lungs. My release of all of my anger and sadness was my voice. My voice was lost within this place.

I debated on killing myself that night. The will was powerful, making me block out all outside noise. I stared at ocean beneath me with the peaceful waves crashing against the cement that borders its path. I wanted to be one with the ocean. I put one leg after the other over the banister as my will to live slowly dissolved. I was only a footstep away from tranquility. I truly believed I was ready to say goodbye.

My vision caved in and my mind went numb.