Fiend

My emotions got the best of me. When Liam told me that he had killed my father, I didn’t know how to respond. Liam kept quiet due to the guilt. He told me his whole master plan for it. How he strangled my father to death with a rope and afterwards took him in his car and dumped his body in a river on the outskirts of the city. Nobody had found my father lying lifeless in that river and not a single missing person's report was issued. Didn’t anyone care? Was he that cruel of a person that nobody missed him when he was gone?

“How could you?”

“How could I? You’re acting like I didn’t do you and the rest of the world a favor.”

I spoke softly so no one else on the floor could here us, “Liam, that's not the point. You killed a man.”

“I don’t look at it that way.”

“The police are probably looking for you right now.”

“Let them look for me. If they find me, I’ll be where I belong.” His stare was overbearing. I looked away and stood up. I was shaking. My life was turning into an insane roller coaster ride. I needed to get off at the next pit stop.

“Liam, I…” He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I jumped at this, afraid of what he might do. We were both emotionally unstable.

“Don’t leave me, please. I don’t think I could handle the guilt without you.” He whispered into my ear.

Anger boiled up inside of me, “How can you handle it now?”

He cupped the palm of his hand over my mouth, “Don’t be so loud!”

Before I could respond, there was a knock on the front door, “Police, open up.”

“Shit. Your suicide attempt.” Liam muttered.

I felt a chill run up my spine as I stepped slowly towards the door. The police knocked again, becoming impatient with us. I called for them to wait just a moment while Liam tried to tidy up the apartment for what might seem like any loose ends of his crime scene. When he nodded his head that he was ready to face what might have been his worst nightmare, I opened the door. There was a female and male cop standing next to each other.

The male cop flashed me his badge and spoke with authority, “We got a call about an attempted suicide off of apartment 251’s balcony. Do you know what happened miss?”

“Yes, I was the one who tried to kill myself.”

“Are you okay miss?”

“Yes I am fine.”

“Are you intoxicated? Have taken any drugs in the past 24 hours?”

I shake my head no.

“May we take a look around the apartment? We need to see if it is a result of illegal substances, we cannot just take your word on it.”

“Yes, go ahead.”

As the police stepped into the apartment, they noticed Liam was sitting on the couch pretending to watch television again. It’s 2 AM and the last thing we wanted to do was stay up and have the police interrogate us. They passed Liam without saying a word and continued their search. I swear I could have heard Liam sigh with relief. After about 10 minutes of investigating, the police gave up and came back into the living room.

“No sign of illegal substances here. Either way, I would like for you to come with us miss…”

“My name is Marina.”

“Marina, yes. There are people in this building that are concerned for their and your safety. Would you mind going to get a psychiatric evaluation at the New York Presbyterian Hospital? If not, you will stay overnight at the city jail and later be released to the hospital for the examination.”

“Whatever you see fit, officers.” I peered at them both and smiled.



My night in a jail cell wasn’t exactly the funniest thing I did in my life. I shared it with an inmate named Sasha who was arrested for battery and assault charges from her husband about 2 years ago. She is waiting on bail or for her sentence to be up in a year. She told me she is plotting revenge on her husband and is trying to get any and all of the strongest women she knows to help her kill him. She invited me into her scheme but I turned down her offer gently. I was not into becoming a permanent inmate anytime soon.

When 9 AM came around, an officer released me. I said goodbye to Sasha and walked out of the prison’s gates. I was escorted to the police car waiting out front, having the same two officers from last night greet me with their expressionless faces.

“How was your time in the slammer?” I couldn’t tell if the woman asked this to be funny or not.

I didn’t respond and looked out the window and I grazed my wrist from the handcuff markings that were embedded on them last night. It's funny how it's not the first time these wrists felt something dig into them.

Once we reached the hospital, I was eager to jump out of the car. However a part of me also wanted to stay in it. I was nervous, nervous for the possibility that I might be ruled mentally insane. I wanted to go back home to Liam. To where I belonged.

The officers forced me out of the car and walked through the front doors of the hospital. The inside was bleak and there were numerous people waiting in chairs around the center of the room. These were everyday people. Some were old and going senile. Others were young and obtained injuries that needed to be fixed by professionals. The receptionist at the welcome desk gave all three of us a smile as the officers gave her my name. They told her it was an emergency.

The receptionists face immediately went from cheerful to sullen as she pointed the directions to the psychiatric ward on the 8th floor. The officers nodded and escorted me upstairs. When we reached the 8th floor, the officers lead me outside of a psychiatric office with a sign reading the name “Dr. Jones”.

“Dr. Jones will be evaluating you today. We leave you in his custody. He will decide where to go with you from here.” The officers said their goodbyes and walked away.

I watched as Dr. Jones opened his door slowly. He greeted me with a smile and a hand gesture to enter his office. I stepped in and sat on the couch that was available for his patients.

Quiet was all I wanted.

“So, what is your name?” Dr. Jones voice was deep which didn’t match his appearance all that much.

“Marina Golden.” I stared at him as he pulled out a tape recorder from his desk.

He pressed the play button and spoke into it.

April 30th, 2013.

Patient name: Marina Golden.

Reason for visit: psychiatric evaluation.

Start of evaluation