Fiend

I choked. What was happening? How. HOW WAS HE BACK? My mind couldn't comprehend this situation.

"How..."

He slowly unraveled his fist and the guy scurried away from under him. Liam was walking towards me. I would have liked a pinch, or a giant piano to fall on my head to tell me that I was dreaming. He couldn't just waltz back in here and think that he could automatically be apart of my life again. But he has and this made me terrified.

I was terrified to trust him again. The only person I could count on just up and left one night because he couldn't handle the consequences of his actions. I was terrified of letting myself fall for someone again like I did with him. He was the first guy I was actually interested in (besides Jack in middle school but you know, that doesn't count). I let him into parts of my life that no one had ever seen before. Aaron and Jason were never able to reach the pedestal that I placed Liam on. He was my solace. No one will understand how much it hurt when he decided to leave me.

"Hi to you too," He whispered into my ear.

"How are you here?" I guess I meant to ask why but unfortunately my words were all jumbled and I couldn't think straight.

"How? I got driven back by a nice trucker who was passing through." Liam pulled out a cigarette.

"You...smoke?" I watched him light the Marlboro. He always used to refuse cigarettes from me.

"Just recently started. It's a great way to deal with my stress"

why not go and see a shrink like I did?

"I mean, I guess. It becomes more of a habit though."

This makes him chuckle, "doesn't it? My last penny was just spent on a pack of these."

"Why?"

It felt like he was staring straight through me, "Why what?"

"Why are you back?"

Liam doesn't seem to know any other expression besides apathy, "I felt like it was time. I dealt with my demons. I paid my price. I was ready."

"But you told me-"

"I know," He paused for a few minutes, then sighed "I know I told you I wasn't coming back. But I felt so lonely, empty. A part of me was missing New York and I don't know if it was because of the actual place or because I knew you were here."

My body felt numb. I didn't like this feeling, "No."

He stared at me and sheepishly smiled.

"No. You didn't miss me." I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

I shook my head and laughed loudly, "I said you didn't miss me, Liam."

"How can you say that?" I hate the way he looked at me.

"Marina, you're supposed to be working!" Dennis yelled from the backroom.

Tears were stinging my eyes. I can't stand this. I can't stand him for doing this to me. I just wanted to be left alone.

"I'll see you at the apartment." Liam ashed his cigarette and walked out.

Kelsey, one of the night workers, patted me on the shoulder like she could be able to reassure me that my life wasn't in such a fucked up state.



I came back to the apartment around midnight, like Jason had told me and what do I find? A disheveled and broken living room. The room is quiet and I'm afraid something happened that I wasn't expecting. Maybe Liam killed his own best friend. Maybe Jason did the vice versa. Maybe they had a wrestling match with each other because they were so happy to see one another again? Okay, so the last one was a stretch but still.

"Jason?" I yelled from the doorway.

I heard footsteps and after a few minutes, Jason appeared. He had a black eye and gave out a light laugh when he saw me.

"Jason, what happened!"

"Sh, Caroline is sleeping in my room," Jason groaned as he held his back "Liam fucked me up pretty badly. He wasn't happy to see that I was out."

"He did this to you?" I went to touch his face but he flinched. But wait, who's Caroline?

My hand was in his palm, "Yeah. Caroline helped clean up the blood but it was pretty bad."

"First of all, who's Caroline? And second, where did Liam go?" I guess I was pressed for time. It seemed like Liam was about to run off again but I couldn't let him, not yet. I needed to tell him how I felt.

"Caroline was my date for the night. I kind of have some explaining to do to you but not yet. Liam came in and as soon as he saw me, he was skeptical. He began to go on a rampage. He called me the fucking antichrist for gods sake. The boy is mental. He won't let go of what happened in the past, how I took PCP for the high, how I had connections with Jorge." Jason ran a hair through his head. A noise came from the doorway of his bedroom. There appeared the mysterious Caroline....Ms. Mays?

"Ms. Mays? TOMILSON'S HIGH SCHOOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR?! YOU'RE SCREWING OUR OLD GUIDANCE COUNSELOR?" Okay, so I may have overreacted a little.

"Marina..."

"Yes, I am dating Caroline. It happened after I was kicked out of school. She came by the precinct a few months ago and wanted to help me. Sooner or later, feelings developed and yeah." Jason looked at her with such longing. He was serious about this.

"Are all of the boys I know fucked up in the head?" I shook my head.

"It's completely legal because Jason is of age if that is what you're worried about." Caroline walked over to Jason and wrapped her arms around his sides. It's like she molded perfectly into him.

I sighed, "As long as you're happy and sober, Jason. That's all I care about."

He mouthed me a "thank you" as I proceeded out the door. It was time to find Liam, even if it might kill me.

So I moved swiftly through the city streets. Asking anyone who was out past midnight, the usual drunks and party college kids, if they had seen a man resembling the characteristics of my Liam. I wasn't able to get any leads but I did find a quaint little cafe that was still open.

"We close in 20" were the words of a tired looking barista. I waved them off basically as I scanned the place.

"Have you seen a man with short brown hair, built, um about 6 foot walk past here today? He was wearing a black Brand New shirt with jeans."

The barista raised an eyebrow, "Lady, do you know how many people come through here in a day?"

I glanced down and gave a quiet "oh, sorry."

"But yeah, he did. The only reason I remember him was because he had some bad gashes across his face. Looked like he was in a fight just before he came. He could barely stand so I called 9-1-1 and he fled real quick." He shrugged.

"Where to!"

"I saw him walk down Brown!" One of the hipster customers shouted.

I ran down Brown and searched through every confine. I needed to find him.

"Liam?" I shouted through one of the alleys.

There was silence. Maybe he finally left for good. Suddenly, there was some rustling and it made me jump. Then I noticed in that unlit corner, Liam was huddled in himself ferociously shaking.

"What have I done?" I saw the gashes on his face. One stretched out from under his eye to the bottom of his cheek. A few other small ones were scattered but of the same shape.

"Why did you do it?"

"I only wanted to make things right, Marina. I never meant to hurt anyone. I never meant to kill your father. I never meant to hurt my brother. I thought leaving you would make everything better," He laughed, "but shit, it just made everything unbearable."

"You need to turn yourself in Liam," His eyes went wide and he grabbed hold of my wrists.

"No, no! I can't! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I CAN'T FUCKING END UP LIKE HIM!" Liam spat.

"You're afraid of ending up like Jason?"

"He's a lowlife. He's scum. He deserves nothing but to rot in the guilt that he made for himself. Tried to kill his own brother. What kind of person does that to their own flesh and blood?"

"But it wasn't Jason's fault. Technically, he was high. He was not in the right state of mind. But he's sober now and I'm sure he regrets everything about it."

There was a long pause before he said the unexpected words, "Leave with me Marina."

"What?"

"Leave New York with me. Let's go somewhere far away. You always said you didn't want to be here anymore."