Fiend

"Leave...when?" The day had been a complete whirlwind. Every event was blinding together to create a big mess. First, he came back and expected me to just accept him back into my life. Later, I found out Jason was sleeping with or dating Ms. Mays who was our high school guidance counselor and that Liam destructed the apartment because he couldn't handle the truth. Lastly, you had what I called the biggest surprise of the year. If this whole day wasn't Oscar worthy, then I don't know what was.

"Tonight. Now. As soon as possible." He pleaded.

"Why don't we go back to the apartment?"

"No! I can't go there! He'll murder me, us!" Liam shrieked.

"Stop Liam! I have to pick some things up from there if we're going to leave now."

"Okay okay, but hurry!" He ordered as I took his hand to lead him back home.

After a 20 minute walk filled with silence and nail gripping, we were back at the apartment. I stared at Liam's face. The guy who only 4 months ago was my stability, my solidarity. And now to see him crumble before me is oddly not upsetting me.

"I will be right back, okay?" I stuck my pinkie out, reminding me of our old times, skipping class and laying in the grassy fields, promising each other that we would be friends forever.

His nod was all I needed. It was close to 3 am. Jason and Caroline were sound asleep again in bed. God bless their little hearts. Even if I found it a bit creepy, they're precious together. I walked into my room. The bleak walls and desk in the corner just screamed the kind of person I was: bland and boring. There was nothing left for me here. I longed for an escape.

I packed my only suitcase and quietly walked out of the apartment. I took Liam by the hand without a word and walked down to Sax Avenue. I hailed a cab for us to get to the airport. My heart and head were 100 percent ready to go. They were reminding me that I was ready, that it was time to get out of New York. It was time to start living my life.

When the cab halted at Park Avenue South, right in front of the JFK Airport, I knew it was time. In that moment I never let go of Liam's hand. As we entered the airport, I purchased two tickets to San Francisco with what little money I was able to collect from my savings and booked our flight time to 4 am, 10 minutes from when we arrived.

Liam was eager and restless. The intercom overhead was calling our flight to board. He was ready to give the hostess his ticket when I pulled him back.

"Wait." I silently said.

His face said it all, "Why wait? We are going to San Francisco baby. This is everything we could ever want."

"No." The tears were stinging my eyes again. I hate this.

"Babe..."

"Stop calling me that. I'm not your babe or your baby." The tears were happening against my will.

"You'll always be-"

"Shut up. Don't you ever shut up! Listen to me! I am not yours. I was never yours to begin with," I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "I'm doing this for your own good Liam. Please leave."

"I can't. I can't leave you again."

"Face the facts Liam. You already did. This isn't the Liam I knew. This isn't the man I fell in love with. The one who I could turn to to feel okay about something in my life. The one who would lull me to sleep when I was too upset at night. The one who understood about the past with my mother. And you know only you know about that story so don't even dare say that you meant nothing to me. But you have to face the facts someday, you're not the same man. You've changed."

He laughs and looks down on me, his forehead connecting with mine, "I haven't changed one bit."

"Whatever demon you're dealing with, I hope you find solace somewhere. Or you will be able to face the cold hard facts that you're a murderer who needs to do time for the crime you've committed." I shook my head and scanned the ceiling. The tears still running down my cheeks, "I fucking loved you."

"Babe, it was never love." Liam glanced down at the plane ticket and then back up at me.

"Take the suitcase with you. You'll find some very valuable information in it." Now, it was my turn to walk away and say goodbye.

"Goodbye Liam, for good."

"Flight 108 to San Francisco now departing. Last call"

When I looked back, Liam was gone.



I returned home at 5 am, exhausted. I deserved some much needed sleep. When I entered the doorway, I saw Caroline sitting at the counter. She was an early riser and drank her coffee straight black.

"Rough night?" She asked.

"Of course." I chuckled.

"You got a lot more ahead of you hun,"

"Ah, there you are!" Jason came out of the bedroom, stretching to show off his muscles in all areas but one.

"Yeah. I took care of Liam." I nodded. I hate coffee but I had to have some if I was going to be up for another solid hour answering questions.

"Really? What did you do?" Caroline nuzzled her head up to Jason's stomach as he stood behind her.

"I shipped him off to San Francisco." Jason and Caroline's eyes were wide.

"What?" They said in unison.

"I paid for a plane ticket for him to go to San Francisco. He won't be back for awhile, if at all." I shrugged. I wish I had a chair like Caroline right now.

"But isn't that like -"

"Yeah, so I used the rest of my savings to pay for it. But you know, at first I was like, I'm gonna go with him if he asks me to leave. I was so fixated on the boy and he will never understand how much it hurt when he left. I was so invested in him and it was like he didn't care about me. Though I really want to get away from here, I knew what Liam and I had was over. I no longer fiend for him."

"Marina-" Jason began but I stuck my index finger up to silence him.

"I don't really want to discuss it now. I am tired. I have been up for 12 hours, a first for once in the past few months. It's time for me to get some much needed sleep please."

I knew I was tired but when I passed Jason and Caroline, but I also craved to glance at the sunrise. This was the first one I saw in god knows how long. It's been so dark these past few months years of my life. It was so bright and beautiful against the ocean. It's funny how in a few months, you could want to change your life around. I felt as if I was turning over a new leaf.

"You'll be okay." I peered over my shoulder to see Jason standing behind me. His smile was genuine. "You know, I was afraid for you the first time I met you. I thought you wouldn't be able to understand how much potential you truly have. Then I got to know you even more and you blossomed into this lovely person that I didn't know what I would do without you in my life. I really and truly deeply care about you Marina. And because I believe in you, you'll be just fine." Jason stared out into the ocean next to me, holding onto the balcony.

"You know what? I think I'll be just fine too." I smiled up at him and that was all I remember from the rest of that night.