The Day I Left the Womb

My stomach was killing me, I felt like butterflies flying all over it and for one second I thought I was about to vomit.
I looked around but I saw no sight of him. I was getting more and more nervous every second.

What if he doesn't come? What if he was only joking? What if he was only playing with me when he said the word Love?
Well, it can be all true. How can he possible love me if he doesn't even know me?
I mean, I'm pretty sure I know him better than he knows me. I've been watching him for over two years, watching every step that he make on school.
He didn't know I existed 'till yesterday. How can he love me in one day? That can't happen, right? You can't fall in love just like that... right?

I finally decided to sit on a bench near the park.
Yeah, I texted Gerard last night, telling him I was gonna wait for him on the park near our school. I didn't go to class today, I didn't wanna see him before our meet. I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to talk to him.
Hell, I didn't even know what I was gonna say now.

The park was lonely, only a few dogs running around and some kids playing on the games. I sighed watching the hour on my cell phone, he's not coming...
He's 30 minutes late, he's not coming... Oh god, why do you hate me so much?

I took a cigarette out of my pockets and I lighted it taking a long drag from it.
It's incredible the way the smoke from a cigarette can calm yourself down. I don't care if I get cancer some day, and I'm sure I will since god doesn't love me at all. Who cares if I die of cancer? Nobody's gonna miss me anyways.

Another drag made me fill dizzy, I guess I should have eaten something before I left the house. I didn't feel like eating again, and now I'm paying the consequences.

I looked around again and nothing. My phone's hour told me Gerard was an one and half hour late. He wasn't coming.
Why am I still here? Why am I still waiting for him?
Maybe because I do love him. Maybe 'cause I've been in love with him for two fucking years, and for a moment last night I thought that he wasn't lying. That he really loved me, or at least that what I wanted to believe.

I guess he was lying. Or he didn't mean to.
I guess I'm just a pathetic asshole who should be in his house instead of waiting for the guy he loves.

That's it. I'm going home...
He's not worthy.